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posted 2/13/2007 11:11:16 AM |
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  MissMisty

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do
I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

And they say blondes are dumb...
_____________________________________

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"

The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
_____________________________________

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"



"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
_________________________________

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded.
____________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?



She said - That is a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
______________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?



She said Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
___________________

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!
__________________

A PRAYER....

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN
______________________________

Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
_________________________________

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
______________________________

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: one-he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

OR Three -- one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
________________________________

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?

A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
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Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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Q: What is the difference between men and women?

A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
_________________________________

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Ma nuals

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by MissMisty:
Kids are quick
Pee Test !
Happy Easter
Chicken and the Horse
I don't get it
Anniversary
your opinions are requested
How to tell the sex of a fly
carefull what you wish for !
old man
don't fart in bed !
promises
Jokes
things to remember
Something to offend EVERYONE parts 1&2&3
things to think about
Mood Changers
all about men !
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
one for all of us !
This one is for Paula
fair is fair !
Live
Andy Rooney on women over 40:
why you should always say "I love you"


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Jokes