I am looking for an administrative assistant who can take care of all the paper work I spread around my office and the whole printshop. She must be knowledgable of Microsoft Office (the whooole thing), Quickbooks Pro, Tax Law (ughhh), and Payroll.
Hours are from 8:00am to 5:00pm Monday to Friday.
A BA or AA in something would be useful, but not required.
It will be useful if she likes to wear short skirts (even during the winter) YET not required.
It will also be useful if she is into girls too BUT is not required.
It will help if she wouldn't have a problem of having an affair with the Big Chief (that would be me!!!) without thinking of sueing him for sexual harrassment at any time during her employment!!! BUT, it's not required.
IF YOU DO WANT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH THE BOSS (that'll be me again), she must AT LEAST be bi curious, open minded, must like toys (big AND small), must like to watch XXX once in a while, must like to have sex in public places, must like to be disciplined by the BOSS ( ) and must like anal!.
We offer great benefits (health insurance, free beers and pizza if you work overtime; if vegetarian, we also give you some veggie's and vegan menus for you to order your stuff).
AMD Applicants PLEASE, send your note to me for review. If you are call for an interview, I will tell you What to Wear for it!!! Generally, I would request that you wear a thong AT THE MOST, but.... it's not required.
I wish I would have been able to post this opening JUST LIKE THIS in the Washington Post.
Someone needs a job???
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