I for one, believe the computer with the internet is perhaps the best invention mankind has experienced in decades....just look at all the possible uses we use them for. O.K. forget all the dark side naughtiness, porn, sexual innuendos, cyber sexual behavior, sexual literotica, etc. for a moment....ok thats long enough...
No really, it is truly amazing what we use them for...check this out:
And you thought computers were worthless...
One day I complained to a friend of mine, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see my doctor." He said, "Why do that?" "There's a computer at the drugstore that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than your doctor.""You simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it." "It only costs a dollar."
I figured I had nothing to lose so I filled a small jar with a urine sample and headed down to the drugstore. Finding the computer, I poured in my sample and put in my dollar. The computer started making some noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW. (LATERAL EPICONDYLITIS)
SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER.
AVOID HEAVY LABOR.
IT WILL BE BETTER IN TWO WEEKS.
Later that evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, I began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. I decided to give it a try. I mixed together some tap water, some doggie doo from Brody, (thats my dog in another blog...you know the golden retriever) urine samples from my son and my wife. And what the heck, being the sicko I am, I masterbated in the concoction.
I went back to the drug store the next day and again found the computer, poured in the concoction, and deposited my dollar. The computer again made the usual noises and printed out the following diagnosis:
YOUR TAP WATER IS TOO HARD.
GET A WATER SOFTENER.
YOUR DOG HAS WORMS.
GIVE HIM WORM TREATMENT.
YOUR SON'S USING COCAINE.
PUT HIM IN A REHABILITATION PROGRAM.
YOUR WIFE'S PREGNANT - TWIN GIRLS.
THEY AREN'T YOURS. GET A LAWYER.
AND IF YOU DON'T STOP JERKING OFF,
YOUR NEVER GOING TO FIX THAT TENNIS ELBOW!!
I had to give up masturbating for SIX MONTHS but I'm o.k. now.
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| DON'T YA JUST LOVE THIS NEW-FANGLED COMPUTER ERA |
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