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posted 2/6/2007 7:31:00 PM |
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Ok, Imma let you all in on a BIG ol' secret around here folks. ::looks over shoulder left then right::
I'm... ... ::deep breath:: YOUNG ::gasp!::

Alright, enough with the silly stuff. Everyone can see my age, and I'm sure you all knew it well enough. I mean, I'm old enough to buy smokes, pose for porn (or partake in porn...), and legally drink in either Canada or the U.S., I can go to casinos, and travel across state lines all by my lonesome! But I'm only 21. I'm half way to "middle aged". Does that make me "quarter aged"?
Sometimes, it gets SO depressing. Don't think for a second I'm rushing life!!! But think of this... I'm a single mom, I work full time, I budget, schedual, plan ahead. I pay bills, I handle crises, I don't party (often), I don't drink to get drunk, or drink just for the fun of it. I am able to have intelligent conversations with "middle aged" men and women, I can pronounce paradigm (lol long story, ask if you're interested), I expect nothing of people, and work with what I'm given.
The average Friday or Saturday night for me? Sitting home, online or watching a movie, maybe a glass of wine. In bed by 11. ::nods::
Doesn't all that mean I should be 40? I'm getting pretty sick of the predjudices placed on age. I know that there is a prejudice for every skin color, gender, sexual orientation, or ANYTHING that is differen't from the "norm". But by Goddess... please don't look down on me because I have a child, please don't look down on me because I'm not at work today, please don't look down on me because I'm fat. Please don't look down on me.

The other thing I'm having an issue with... friends. I have NO friends. I've grown and matured so much in the past year of my life (and my son's life) that all of my friends have been left behind. I can't bring myself to just go to a club for the hell of it, to go drink a fifth of vodka by myself so I can brag the next day about how drunk I was, or to sleep until 3pm and stay up til 8am (even when I don't have my son) I've begun making friends with an "older" crowd (I prefer more mature) Anywhere from 30-45. Just FRIENDS that I like spending my time with. They come over, play cards, watch movies, kick back a beer or two. ::shrug:: And what's wrong with that? Why do I feel like its 'wrong'?

::shakes head:: I'm off to be a mommy

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Feb 6 @ 7:48PM  
sigh.. been there.. only the opposite. sorta..

I was older than most of my friends but.. the people my age were less mature than the people I hung out with.. how sad is THAT??

Feb 6 @ 7:58PM  
there's NO easy way to mature before your time...some of us for one reason or another were forced to........some like you .........some simply to in SOME ways age is just a number but in others its a mesurement of experiences..........just more for you to think about

Feb 6 @ 8:09PM  
Sorry I discriminate. I am tota;;y in favor of really wexual/sensual/erotic/exotic/ propvocative women. I am sure I will be condemned to hell for that belief. but what can I do.

Feb 6 @ 8:13PM  
Im a young'n myself at 28 years old and though I have no children, Ive been going through similar situations and feelings. I dropped out of high school at 17 so I could go to design school. Graduated from Parsons at 21, and in that time worked in the industry and became a well respected professional. This was all while the rest of my contemporaries were boozing it up and partying 'till 5am on a weeknight. Not to say I never partied, but the decisions I made required alot more responsibility on my part. So... between age 21 to now, Ive just about lost all of the friends I thought id be close with well into my life to drugs, alcohol or just general retardedness.
Theres nothing wrong or wierd about what you're going through, you made the right decisions based upon what was going on in your life. Im sure you would'nt trade your family for addle brained cheeba monkeys. And as far as your figure is concerned, don't sweat it. Nobody is perfect. You don't need to watch your figure, just find a nice guy like me and we'll have fun watching your figure all night long.

Feb 6 @ 8:14PM  
I don't know...maybe I've got this all wrong, but U seem 2 me 2 be a bitch who has her shit 2gether and knows it. That a lot of guys finds that emasculating. A lot of other bitches find it threatening. That's life.

As 4 the age thing, I'm going 2 let U in on a little secret. As advanced 4 Ur age as U may be...U don't know shit. I'm sorry, hon, that's just the way it iz.

It's kinda funny, but it turns out that U actually learn more about how life really people really men and women really interact with each other as opposed 2 how we would prefer that they the fucking world really iz, regardless of how we would like it 2 be...between the ages of 25 and 30 than U do in the first 25 years. In my case, there wuz almost a 180 degree turn around on some issues. That's why us "middle aged" folk look on those of U in their twenties with some amusement. The idea of taking someone barely 21 serious iz almost comical. Really, there izn't that much difference between taking someone in their early twenties seriously and doing the same 4 someone in their teens. The biggest differences are physical in nature. Emotionally its pretty much the same. We do expect that U will be a little more mature, however, and that's probably why we allow them 2 drink. Besides, it's kind of hard 2 tell a motherfucker he iz old enough 2 bleed 2 death in the streets of Falujah, but he iz still 2 young 2 have a Budweiser. At least, it iz while keeping a straight face.

As with any rule there are always exceptions. The differences I speak of take place 4 the most part in the way we look at the world - the way we percieve those around us and our expectations from those perceptions. Unfortunately, individual circumstances sometimes force some of us 2 grow up faster than others. This iz but another of life's cold realities. I suspect that this iz true in Ur case. Otherwise U may feel more mature than Ur peers, but people my age would see that as self-delusional thinking, which we actually see quite a bit of. It's one of the reasons we stay the fuck away from U guys. U cause headaches.

Be careful not 2 fall prey 2 older guys who are just looking 2 exploit Ur belief in how grown up U are. There are a lot of them. The key iz older chicks. If they think U are cool then U probably are. If they don't seem 2 want 2 much 2 do with U? Beware. If U have a lot of older male friends but their wives or girlfriends don't like U so much? Well...then I would guess U are probably a victim waiting 4 one of the bastards who iz going 2 help U grow up come along. Don't worry...he will.

But I don't know U, so I could be wrong about all of this. I do know one thing, though. U are not fucking fat. U are absolutely fucking beautiful! True, U may be big...but that doesn't mean shit. 2 say U are fat implies that U are in some way unattractive or undesirable. Neither iz true, although there are many who would love 2 have U believe this fallacy. It makes it so much easier 2 control U, and ultimately abuse U.

I hope I wuz helpful and if U ever come my way look me up. U sound interesting.



Feb 6 @ 8:26PM  
Interesting. I can kind of relate. In a lot of ways, I'm old and farty compared to a lot of my contemporaries, but I also make a point of acting incredibly immature to keep things light. But I can definitely say that making family a priority has lost me a lot of friends--not forever, hopefully--because they wonder why I can't drop everything and dick around at a bar or sleep somewhere else, etc. I can definitely appreciate the lazy Saturday and Sunday evening, too.

Seems like you had to grow up more quickly than other folks your age. It doesn't make your life any easier, but it's certainly not the worst thing in the world. You have perspective and wisdom that other 21-year-olds don't--so flaunt it!

Feb 6 @ 9:33PM  
I feel you babe.... I am a single mom myself, and up till a few months ago I worked 2 jobs and went to school. Social life was non-existant. So were friends. Things will get easier with time. But most of the time, I prefer to be a homebody and a mommy. But in the bedroom, us single moms become freaks.......

Feb 6 @ 11:39PM  
I'll get friendly with ya!

Feb 6 @ 11:44PM  
Lintroller is right. You have a lot more maturity than I did when I was 21. If I had been that responsible, maybe things would have been easier for me.

Feb 6 @ 11:44PM  
Good to know I fit into your hang out age range.

Feb 7 @ 4:28AM  
Not to sound inflamitory DS, but I find it really hard to listen to somebody talk about being serious when they speak with 2's and U's every other word. LOL

But you do have a point. That, and they say that As you age, your idealism is replaced with practicality.

Me? I've always been around people much older than me. My friends are almost all in their 40s, I've always dated older women, I think of people my own age as immature and unenlightened, and people seem to consider me (with a display of surprise) to be very mature (which I would just attribute to having an adept understanding of logic and common sense).
However, I don't like that point of view and I wish they would stop. LOL. I speak as if I know something (don't all us youngin's do?) and am articulate enough to express it. And, I have enough wisdom so far to know when to shut up.
But, I notice that I feel like i'm a completely differant person than I was just 1-2 years ago... And that repeats. and I expect I will be a completely differant person 1-2 years from now.
It appears that this metamorphasis slows in age. As I grow older (more emphasis on the grow than the older), I expect to gain much experience in life.

Now to my point. I don't like being thought of as mature because I like to remain excusable for my decisions as a mark of youth. I want to live my life for my own amusement (appearantly something the responsibilities that company age encumber you against). I am a youngin' and having fun being one.

And now my wisdom is starting to kick in.

Feb 7 @ 11:05AM  
LDS, I agree with the fact that if your looking for friends and get all this other stuff that you do not want! I see a lot of beautiful attractive women here and many specifically say they are looking for WOMEN! I don't bug them! I will look at their photos. I see most comments are made by guys! it may be me but! Isn't it kind of the same thing! Looking for women! Read the person's profile! Read their essay's! get to know a bit before your dick starts typing away! Give respect/Get respect!

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