WE WANT DICK!!!!! (Part Two) posted 2/5/2007 2:31:41 PM | 4 kudos what's this?     report abuse

DickSlippery

CONTINUED FROM B4 (that means don't read unless U read Part One, dummy!)

I realize that I am by no means a cookie cutter candidate. I have some radical ideas. I realize that shit. I ain't trippin. That’s why I scare motherfuckers. They’re afraid y’all will actually start listening 2 me, and realize I’m telling the truth. Holy shit if that happens, baby! Motherfuckers will be out they goddamn minds! That’s right! That’s right…that’s why they all scared of me. The Republicans are scared of me. Them motherfuckers don’t know what 2 think. John McCain iz like, “let me kick his ass!” Fucking Democrats iz scared 2. Barack a what? Fuck a Barack Obama! Somebody will probably shoot that motherfucker B4 Election Day anyways. I know Hillary thought she had that shit sewed up, but that’s alright. It’s a race now motherfuckers!

But if I’m not a Republican and I’m not a Democrat…then what? Independent? That sounds kinds wishy-washy 2 me. Green Party? Not a fucking chance. What am I, Kermit the fucking Frog? How the fuck am I supposed 2 look motherfuckers in the eye and tell them I’m with the motherfucking Green Party? Why don’t U just go ahead and confiscate my cock now? I won’t be needing it. No one in the Green Party ever gets any pussy anyway. So, fuck that, my shit iz staying right where it iz, motherfuckers. Besides, U never know when somebody might escape from Stalag Sixty-Nine! HA! Get it? Sixty-Nine? Never mind, U worthless fucking…Where wuz I? Oh, yeah! How about the Communist party then? What? Are U fucking joking me? Look at my fucking picture. Do I look like a fucking Communist 2 U? Ok…bad example. My picture iz all fucking red and shit, so naturally I look like a fucking Communist. But I’m not, I swear! If U call me comrade I’ll kick Ur fucking ass. I mean that shit. U can ask my Cousin Sal if U don’t believe me. Has my cousin Sal ever lied 2 U? No. That’s what I fucking thought. So, what fucking business do U have questioning his integrity?

So, after serious consideration and much inner reflection I have decided that the path I shall take will be same as it has always been 4 me. I am going 2 take the path that makes the most sense, since that tends 2 also be the path of least resistance. Unless there iz a path that happens 2 lead past the Delaney Sisters’ house…in which case I take the path leading past the Delaney Sisters’ house. In this case the path which makes the most sense…the path which must be so obviously apparent 2 anyone with half a fucking brain…iz right…fucking…there! I’m running 4 President in 2008 as a candidate 4 the Whig Party!

Don’t be acting all shocked and shit. It ain’t like we ain’t never brought the big one home, now! I, 4 one, am proud 2 follow in the footsteps of our last great Whig President…Millard Fillmore, the Thirteenth President of these United States! Well…not these United States, cuz like right here wuz Mexico when my man Millard wuz running shit. But those United States had a motherfucking Whig in charge of shit! And my boy wuz smart about that shit 2. The motherfucker didn’t do shit the entire four years! Iz that fucking great or what? What a brilliant way 2 avoid scandal! Oh…U disagree? Well, maybe U would have been happier if Millard Fillmore would have invaded Canada, but that nigga (THAT’S RIGHT… I’M CALLING MILLARD FILLMORE MY NIGGA AND FUCK ANYONE WHO DON’T LIKE IT! NOW WHAT? Why? Cuz that fool wuz straight DOWN 4 the Whig! He didn’t give a fuck! That motherfucker would just as soon kill everybody. U can even see his ass in some portraits holding up three fingers…throwing that “W” 4 the Whig, bitch!) knew how not 2 rock the fucking boat! Something the current administration would do well 2 learn!

So, there it iz. I’m officially entering the race. Time 2 start churning out bumper stickers and buttons that say, “I want DICK in 2008” and “VOTE WHIG BITCH”. I have a feeling we are going 2 need a grip of them.

Keeping U posted,

DS

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Blogs by DickSlippery: MWM ISO MWF 4 LTR ASAP BBW A++ 3. Run Like Hell I wrote this one... Top 10 Signs U Live in the Ghetto I fucking hate it when... My Platform? Why...it's shoes! (Part Two) My Platform? Why...it's shoes! (Part One) 2. In The Flesh Now this looks like a sport I can get behind! Swinging, Huh? Sweet Chair U Got! Side 4: 1. The Show Must Go On Notes from the Campaign Trail Vol I WE WANT DICK!!!!! (Part Two) WE WANT DICK!!!!! (Part One) Well, no fucking wonder... 6. Comfortably Numb Top Ten Signs U Blog 2 Much Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas Vol. V The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. 5 (Part Three) The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. 5 (Part Two) 5. Bring The Boys Back Home The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. 5 (Part One) Has anybody checked the weather in Hell? It's Nice 2 Know Some Things Never Change (Part Two) It's Nice 2 Know Some Things Never Change (Part 1)