Ever since becoming unemployed (oh…that’s right…I’m a full-time writer, now) I have found myself with quite a bit of time on my hands. Naturally, I masturbate a lot. This iz pretty much how my day goes: I wake up and check my comments. Then, I jerk off. Then I eat a bowl of cereal. Jerk off again. Get loaded. More cereal…maybe even some instant oatmeal, if I can remember where I stashed it. Or wait…no…those fucking pizza rolls I bought. YES! Pizza! Pizza! Oh…fuck! I forgot all about the waffles! Killer deal! I eat some waffles. Get loaded again. Watch some TV. This will eventually lead 2 watching Playboy Channel. (Why? Well…becuz I have Playboy Channel…duh!) Jerk off again. And the cycle at that point just kinda repeats itself. So, U can see I’m not really all that busy from a day-2-day point of view.
This will inexorably end up in my finding the time 2 fucking think, and we all know how bad that can be. Only this time I’m thinking, ‘Just how bad can that be?’ I mean…I’m by no means a stupid guy. Nor am I the smartest motherfucker out there, either. But, I have some good ideas. And I’m honest…both in my actions and 2 myself, which I personally feel iz the harder of the two.
So, now…let’s recap, shall we? I am fairly intelligent, I have a few good ideas, I’m by no means perfect, but at least I am honest about it, I spend a lot of my time with my cock in my hand and I’m looking 4 work. Iz this as obvious 2 everyone else as it iz 2 me? Cuz I gotta tell ya…this iz just fucking leaping out at me, man! Do U see it? Izn't it fucking perfect? The time haz come, baby! That’s right…I’m running 4 fucking President!
That’s right; I’m throwing my hat N2 the ring. Why the fuck not? Like I have something better 2 do? My shit’s pretty open right now. Besides, wouldn’t that just be fucking hilarious? I wuz just thinking about the look on the face of that bitch that fired me from Big Lots! He’s Running 4 What? HAHA! But, I should be President 4 more reasons than just my own personal revenge. 4 instance…I have the ability 2 apply common sense 2 everyday situations. That’s something we haven’t seen in the White House since B4 Reagan started losing his marbles. And my old lady iz already knowing I dig fat chicks, so U can bet Ur ass U won’t be able 2 find one anywhere in the vicinity. Wouldn’t surprise me if by the time I wuz sworn in there wuz nothing left in the greater Beltway Area but fat, balding, middle-aged queers. I’m pretty sure dixxx will have everyone I’m attracted 2 rounded up and put N2 concentration camps or something. The upside of that iz we don’t have 2 worry about another sex scandal, right?
2 BE CONTINUED
DS 
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| WE WANT DICK!!!!! (Part One) |
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