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a dilemma....

posted 2/4/2007 12:44:32 AM |
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tagged: ed

OK...need some advice on this...have known a guy for a few years...always a strong attraction, even some "fooling around", but never the whole nine yards cause he was married...kept trying to end the "friendship", but there always seemed to be some kind of connection that drew us back...

anyways...he splits from wife, contacts me its a whole new ball game, we actually went a real date!...and then finally, we "consummate" the relationship...

guess what????(just my luck!) appears that he must have some sort of erectile dysfunction...'s the question...especially with me being one of quite a healthy sexual i jump ship right now before i get more attached, or try to stick it out with someone that i like, in hopes that perhaps there is some medical or emotional problem that can be easlily resolved...

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Feb 4 @ 12:54AM  
It depends how much you want to be with this person, you need to take in consideration, how important the sex is for you vs the person you want to be with in the long run. Has he gone to see any type of doctor to review his situation?

Feb 4 @ 12:54AM  
I don't know, but I really like your undies...

Feb 4 @ 12:55AM  
There is plenty of medication out there that can treat ED. So if you really like this guy, just recommend that he get treatment and see how it works.

Feb 4 @ 1:00AM  
Ok...No fucking bullshit blondie,

This sounds 2 me like this cat has been wanting 2 get exactly where U had him 4 so fucking long that his brain over fucking loaded his libido. It wuz most likely a simple case of performance anxiety...and nothing more. He freaked himself out long B4 U ever actually came on N2 the picture. So, based on that I would say that U should definitely give him another shot. That's not even bringing the possible benefits of Viagra or some other such drug 2 assist him in his performance.

That having been good of a friend iz this guy? If U feel like U will miss his friendship if he's not around, don't do it. There is far 2 great a chance that it will go bad, and when it does U and he will no longer be friends. U need 2 consider whether or not this particular dick is worth that B4 U go any further.

Hope this wuz helpful. Good luck! (U should ask him 2 take some pictures 4 me!)


Feb 4 @ 1:04AM  
DickSlippery has prob hit both points i'd have hit ......well said.!

Feb 4 @ 1:06AM  
Have him get checked for high blood pressure (Hypertension) and high blood sugar (Hyperglycemic)- Both can cause ED. High blood sugar, doesn't have to mean insulin (Type I diabetes), could just be Type II that can be controlled with diet (carbohydrate control) and exercise and maybe medication. The med(s) themselves (BP & BS) could be a problem with ED too. He'll have to work with his doc on the meds.

Just a thought!

Feb 4 @ 1:13AM  
I’d say go for it since even if he can’t get it up you can always have fun sitting on his face.

Feb 4 @ 2:34AM  
I'm with DS on this one,,,,give the man a second chance,,,,He was so excited that he was nervous and couldn't get it up....

Feb 4 @ 2:37AM  
i guess i do need to realize that i do have that effect on men....

Feb 4 @ 2:43AM  
Yea, he may have gotten way too nervous for it... Give him a chance or two. After that, if it doesn't work, that's all he can put up

Feb 4 @ 2:50AM  
If his ED is caused by emotional distress from terminating his marriage, the problem may not go away anytime soon. You may piss away a good portion of your sex life away on him.

By all means resume having sex with him, but don't keep him exclusively until his problem is resolved. You are a sexual being and deserve to have those needs satisfied. I wish you the best of luck.

Feb 4 @ 3:32AM  
...just my honest opinion, you said that he'd been married and while you never consumated the friendship you knew that there must have been a reason for it. ED, nervous anxiety or whatever the case may be can be easily fixed. The real question is not the functionality of his penis, but emotional functionality of his brain.

Feb 4 @ 3:57AM  
I agree, DS has most likely hit it. I had the same problem once after splitting with my wife. Got that little blue pill, and look out, set the world on fire. Some men though, just can't seem to admit they have a problem, and if they don't face it right away, will embed itself in thier head and be a worse problem later. If he is willing, help him with his problem, and see where it goes.

Feb 4 @ 5:57AM  
I agree with DS, Meme69247, Ynot and all the others who have made similar comments. I had this problem with an ex once and she was pissed off too despite the fact we had a good sexual relationship before and after the incident. I have never suffered it since mind you as I tend to think relaxing thoughts and if I feel it's not going to rise to the job I just kiss, caress and sometimes even just talk until my mind has cleared enough to allow time for me to rise again.

Feb 4 @ 8:14AM  
wow what a drag... not sure what to say hon. a soft dick aint worth a fuck though thats fur sure.

maybe have an open conversation with him bout it. see wtf is up with that.

Feb 4 @ 8:37AM  
As you are friends, there is the advantage of communication that there would not be with a new dating interest. I would just come forth diplomatically and ask him about it.
Viagra and the others are only effective on seventy percent of the men. He could be in that thirty percent.
ED is not necessarily a completely dysfunctional situation as sometimes things work and sometimes they don't, often with partial success as in being semi-hard.
Contrary to what many think, the mental dimension is important to men. The dick seems to remember things. When a guy is with someone and the last encounter was good and hot...boing. If it was a dud, sorry. Momentum can go in either direction.
A lot of foreplay could remedy all of that. A nice long blow job to completion could turn it around. Once he cums well, things may straighten out.
The other part of this is the person to person part. If this is someone with LTR potential, you may want to view things down the road and figure out where you want to be ten years from now. Perhaps if he sees a lot of LTR potential and understands your needs (assuming he has ED without remedy), you can always run something down on the side.

Feb 4 @ 9:48AM  
a good friendship is always a great basis to start any relationship, and I would base my decision on that. I have to agree with DS it could have just been performance anxiety, and if you all have a good friendship maybe you can talk about it. If he is a good man and you like him then I wouldn't let this stand in my way.

Feb 4 @ 10:00AM  
i concur with d s's two points. you shouldn't treat a single, emotionally charged incident as any thing but that. maybe next time y'all can take your time. or don't pull out the handcuffs so soon.

Feb 4 @ 10:40AM  
There are many Ed meds today that work EXTREMELY well...Is there "chemistry" on other levels as well?


Feb 4 @ 10:56AM  
I also agree.. give the man a chance hell the chemistry is there and the friendship! what a great combination talk and try again and again...

Feb 4 @ 12:24PM  
To keep this short,

You have to stop it will only lead to disaster....ED is a very stressful complication and should be avoided as much as dating your boss. Just too much work needed here and if he can't give it to you like u want it, someone will break....

if i had ED i would just kill myself....or join a monestary....

too much baggage here honey, he has this up front and you haven't even checked the trunk of the taxi yet ?......RUN baby, RUN !!!

Feb 4 @ 12:37PM  
His erectile disfunction is better known as GUILT!

Feb 4 @ 1:45PM  
What is ED??

Feb 4 @ 6:15PM  
He's probably shit scared that he won't satisfy you. So it's up to you to coax him into feeling no pressure. Use your hands and mouth and tell him wot your gonna do to him, trust me you'll get the result you want.

Feb 10 @ 2:10AM  
Why settle for less, when there's a lot of great single guys out there? Good luck darlin.


Feb 10 @ 2:12AM  
PS: I forgot,,,, I used to be the king of ( Less settlers ). God only knows,,,, But never again will I either. And niether should you.

Feb 15 @ 9:29AM  
One other thing that might be considered...

Most men after about age 30 or so, generally have a minor case of prostatitis. It happens to ALL of us around this age. Prostatitis is a minor inflammation or swelling of the prostate gland, not serious enough to be considered as 'enlarged prostate' (which can also be a precursor to prostate cancer, BTW). After age 40 or so, something so minor as having a full bladder can aggravate this condition, and make erections very difficult to achieve. The pressure from the inflammation or swelling can compress the blood vessels that "inflate" the corpus cavernosum (the spongy tissue that fills with blood during an erection) and the result is a flaccid member. It is entirely possible for the nervous system to transmit all of the sensations related to sex, up to and including orgasm, while the blood flow is restricted, and ejaculation can occur without erection. Oh, and if that doesn't make us all worry a little, ED can also be a *symptom* of hemorrhoids. All that stuff down there is all interconnected in men, just as it is in women. A visit to a urologist might be in order.

If you think of him as more than just a stiff dick that is only there for your pleasure, then you might want to sit down with a cup of coffee, and have an open, frank discussion about some of these medical topics that might help him get more healthy.

Hope this helps.

Oh, and by the way... I agree with BelAir... Very nice undies!

Feb 23 @ 12:27AM  
Dump him, He cant get it up, its mental he still wants his wife. You are
just a side show he wanted when he couldnt have you

Feb 27 @ 2:45PM  
Just because a man as a difficult time getting it up now and then doesn't make him any less of a man. All men eventually have that problem. But if he is a real man and a good man then he will live by the old saying, which is "when you get to old to cut the mustard anymore, you can always lick the jar it came in" And what woman doesn't like haveing her jar licked until theres just no mustard left.

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a dilemma....