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Why God Doesn't Give a Fuck If Ur Amish

posted 2/1/2007 9:08:54 PM |
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  DickSlippery

U know...say what U will about this universe of ours, but it does tend 2 make sense. At least, it makes sense when U have all the facts at Ur disposal 2 investigate, anyway. And whereas I'm not going 2 go so far as 2 say everything iz pre-ordained and completely remove free will from the equation, I do believe in fate 2 some extent. At least 2 the extent that we are all on this planet 4 a finite amount of time, and there iz nothing...nothing anyone can do about it!

How else other than it wuzn't Ur time 2 go do U explain some clown in Denmark getting all fucked up and falling off the roof of an eight story building. Rather than splatter all over the pavement below, this dickhead hits the awning over the front door and ricochets up N2 a tree suffering only a broken ankle during his ordeal. Then there wuz the lady who jumped from an airplane and fell three fucking miles 2 earth. Her chute failed 2 open and she landed in a marsh in Minnesota. She actually made a three foot crater in the ground when she hit. When she wuz released from the hospital a few daze later the doctors said the unusually spongy ground in the marsh where she landed helped 2 cushion her fall. Bullshit...it wuzn't her time 2 go.

I have a friend who used 2 live in New York City. One day he got N2 it with this other asshole and the guy pulls out a .38, sticks it under my friends chin and pulls the trigger. Rather than blow the top of his head off, as it should have, the bullet made its way up N2 my friends mouth, where it proceeded 2 bounce around off of his teeth 4 a bit B4 exiting out his cheek. My buddy didn't even end up disfigured out of the deal. Not his time 2 go.

That's why a plane can crash and seven people can manage 2 stay afloat in the icy waters of the Potomac long enough 2 be rescued. Not their time 2 go. Or a car can wreck and kill three out of four people involved...but that forth guy walks away virtually unscathed. Not his time 2 go. Or an earthquake can reduce a hospital 2 dust in a matter of seconds, but nine daze later babies...babies 4 Christ's sake can be pulled from the rubble alive. Not their time 2 go. Or how about the bitch who wuz heading a meeting at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building? At 9:02 AM she moves 2 the blackboard 2 write something down. At that moment the blast rips through, destroying the building around her. She turns around 2 discover she iz now standing on a fucking eighteen inch ledge staring out N2 space. Not her time 2 go. Or the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center can come crashing down on top of them and twenty people can survive 2 see their loved ones another day. Not their time 2 go.

If I am right, then the flip side of that coin iz that when it iz Ur time 2 go, guess what buddy? Ur checking out no matter what U do. Which iz why, I believe (and I'm really not trying 2 make light of this subject either), whomever iz in charge of such things decided 2 use a madman as his weapon of choice on October 13, 2006. If Uve got 2 punch the cards 4 six Amish bitches on the same fucking day, just how the fuck are U gonna pull that off without some outside help? Have a fucking plane crash on top of them? Yeah...that might work, except it izn't anybody on the plane's time 2 go. That might look a little suspicious. Remember, we are trying 2 remain clandestine about this. Seems 2 me that leaves 2 choices...either U use an outbreak of some deadly illness or U find some dickhead who's number iz up the same day and give him the bright idea 2 do Ur dirty work 4 U. The latter iz probably even the simpler of the two tasks. It's gotta be easier 2 find a lunatic in the Pennsylvania countryside than it iz 2 cultivate the fucking Ebola Virus or some shit like it, right?

Like I said, most of the shit in this universe of ours does make sense, even if we still don't understand it. I guess that a year and a half later, this iz my attempt 2 make some kind of sense of that fucking shit.

Keeping U posted

DS



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Comments:

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BelAir789

Feb 1 @ 10:31PM  
that still doesn't explain why your skin is red.
dumblonde

Feb 2 @ 12:06AM  
fate, destiny??? what else can we call it????
wtxman

Feb 2 @ 2:10AM  
Official translation from the Circus: Shit Happens !
veeruinus

Feb 2 @ 8:22AM  
Was it fucking supposed to even happen
veeruinus

Feb 2 @ 8:28AM  
Oh BTW i once had an accident in india. I was on my bike (NO HELMET) cruising 45 mph and bang. Next thing i know is i hit a truck(Not the Fords or Dodge Rams) It was a mini Transportation Truck. Right in the center. I flew in the air probably 8 to 9 feet high landing on the ground WITHOUT GETTING HURT(NOT A SINGLE SCRATCH). My bike went into a total loss though. NEITHER TIME FOR ME 2 GO. Probably he gives a damn about Asiamish.

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Why God Doesn't Give a Fuck If Ur Amish