Who was that man in the shadows her mind had screamed in terror. What was not going to hurt bad her mind had rattled off and who is that man in the shadows she had wanted to scream. She wanted to run to hide but fear trapped her making her weak and feeble. Amy had never consented but her mother didn’t seem to care and the man in the shadows walked out and became her nightmare. The thing mommy was going to give her to make her feel “all better” never came, perhaps her mother forgot or most likely used herself. She was not sure how much an eleven year old virgin was worth but her mother didn’t come back until after three weeks. She remembered when she did Amy couldn’t stop crying when she saw her mother. “What the fuck do you think you are some kind of princess? What do you think I been doing all along to feed and clothe you and put a fucking roof over your head? You can’t do that one time for mommy?” her mother had yelled at her. It was not to be the one or the last time though and at first her mother tried to force her to do it. Amy would run though and soon her mother got smart. She started giving her heroin and Amy stopped running. At first to get her started she let Amy sniff it. However, after weeks she was mainlining heroin at twelve. By the time she was thirteen she had ran away, knowing by now her mother was a bad pimp.
Amy closed the door letting the less then desirable deed slip from memory. She watched as the john drove away, then crossed the ally and got back on the main street. It was not far now. Amy hoped the shit would be better then than last time. That punk Caesar had sold her some fucking fucked up smack. She had popped twice and all she got was dizzy. The word around town was the last run of heroin into the city wasn’t that good and nobody had any decent shit. That was somewhat of a comfort at least Caesar wasn’t just screwing with her, he just had a bad connection too. Still, Amy needed to get high and she hadn’t heard shit about anyone having some decent heroin. She was probably going to have to spend the whole forty dollars trying to get high because the smack was so poor. Fuck, I am going to have to work twice as hard till some decent shit comes in thought Amy. Her left arm was itching badly and she raked her nails down it. A scab stuck in one of her nails pealing off, blood began to ooze down her arm. It did nothing to relieve her itching though and Amy only scratched harder. The itching sensation she knew would not go away until she shot up again. Motivated by the cravings Amy walked faster.
She was in the right vicinity now, she just needed to find her man. The drizzle had stopped and the wind was dying down making it not so cold. Amy heard some thumping sounds and saw kids playing hoops in the ubiquitous inner city park. The hoops she noticed had not nets and spray paint covered any and all flat surfaces. Broken beer bottles littered the brown and dying grass. On one of the benches sat a bundle of rags with a form and shape that looked to be only pretending to be a man. The figure sat with watchful eyes closely guarding a grocery cart full of personal belongings. Not far from him was another bum asleep under a tree. The sleeping man’s face was deeply lined and wrinkled. It was as if one was to follow those lines it would be a road map to his whole life. A pink puddle of chunks and gruel lay just to the right of him. Ants had already discovered the gold mine and were quickly hauling away the treasure. Lumps and pieces of the man’s vomit still clung to his wild and furry beard, a thin line of pink could also be seen on the mans pants. The air in the park seemed to move and vibrate as cars with loud bassing radios drove by.
A large crashing sound caused Amy to jump and look back. A small group of kids and young teens were running and laughing Amy’s way. The ragman’s cart was toppled and cans and bottles of all kind were rolling and spinning on the ground. A lifetime on the streets taught the man to be silent knowing kids could be dangerous even deadly. However, if looks could kill all those boys would be dead. Not having time to move out of the way Amy instinctually clutched her purse. One of the boys bumped her roughly causing her stumble. The offending boy ran on without a word. Amy recovered looking for Caesar. He was normally to be found in the park but, a quick glance around revealed nothing. Shit nothing was easy Amy thought. She could try his house but he always got cranky when she did. He didn’t like the traffic and the attention selling drugs caused around his house. Hell he owes me one anyways after selling me that crap Amy thought and started towards his address.
Lucky for Amy the place wasn’t far and she was soon on the third floor landing banging on his apartment door. She was about to leave when she heard some noise from inside. This caused Amy to bang even louder and soon her effort was rewarded “Fuck I’m coming Ok!” it was Caesar voice. She heard the chain latch being engaged and the lock and deadbolt being unlocked. The door opened a cautious half inch with the chain lock stretching the distance. Peering in she could see half of Caesar’s face it was sleepy and unshaven. “What you want man?” he asked, Amy told him. Without a word the door closed and for half a second she was sure he was going to refuse and she would be left to score elsewhere. The waiting actually caused her heart rate to shoot up in anticipation of failure. Then she heard the chain lock being undone and the door opened. The place was a mess. It had that murky underwater appearance as the only light coming in was from the gray overcast sky. The coffee tabled was littered with old pizza boxes and half eaten cartons of Chinese food. The sofa had a pillow and blanket on it where someone had been using it to sleep on. A distasteful yellow stain clung to the pillow. The floor was cover with junk mail and empty cereal boxes. A small TV was in the corner being held aloft by a TV dinner table. One of the legs was crooked and it seemed that the smallest wobble would cause the television to fall over. A young girl no older than three was being enthralled by some purple singing dinosaur that was dancing and swaying on TV. She was naked except for a pink blanket she held lovingly in her left hand. The little girl’s right hand was engaged in her mouth as her thumb was peacefully being sucked on. The kitchen table had a melted and disfigured candle atop it. Around the base of the candle was some bent spoons. A long rubber tube snaked in and out between the candle and the spoons. To finish off the junkies tableau there was some needles and syringes too.
Caesar popped on the light in the kitchen and the roaches scattered fleeing the illumination. One particularly large roach had scurried out from a pink baby bottle with the top off. Caesar must not have noticed because he was going to pour some milk in it for the child. Amy revolted told him what had happen
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