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Mating Rituals of the Hornfronted, GrooveyTailed Rain King-Part1

posted 2/1/2007 1:50:52 PM |
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  TheRainKing

It just occured to me as sat in my study smoking my pipe and pondering life's mysteries ....We aren't so different from the animal kingdom as far as realtionships with the opposite sex go....We like to call ourselves civilized but can it really be true? Has aquiring knowledge like actualy being able to decipher a Starbucks menu, and learning how to thumb out numbers on our cell phones really changed the animal instincts in us at all? What would a professional wildlife observer think of our behavior here on this site? I think it would go something like this:

(Envision Marlin Perkins from Wild Kingdom narrating)

On today's show we're following the ever elusive "HornFronted, GroovyTailed Rain King".
While I'm here safe in the bushes...join me as we look in on the mating rituals of this proud cock in the wilds of the AMD kingdom.

The Rain King has entered the "bloggy like" meeting area used for displays of bravado,community welfare gatherings and ritual flirting....As he enters he is at once surrounded by a flock of the beautiful female birds of his species...why it's almost like a harem! As he displays acts of affection for them they immediately begin pecking him and berating him with loud squawks as if to put him in his place ....At the head of these irate female fowls are two briliantly feathered birds the "Kissing Princess Dove" and a leggy dove that's mannerisms usualy show much T ender L oving C are to everyone around her. One tough, cute little bird, a beautiful "Sniffilis Winged Hunting Dove" even chunks rocks at him and giggles. But they soon cool down and shower him with affection...and perform strange mating dances known as "Naked Twister" and "Boobie Oiling" ...such fickle creatures these females are.....

Our subject soon leaves his covey/harem of lovelies to go mingle with the other males of his species....and vye for the attention of more mates for his "harem like" group... As he enters the lines of "forum like" conversations and Tomfoolery, he takes notice of his competition...There is one bird, a "Straddlenosed Cockwalker" who is alternately wooing and confusing the females with his strange personal habits and wild interests...he seems very popular....Off to the side there is an older bird, with the valor and quality of the royal "NightsofOld", who is reciting romantic poems to a group of females who seem to be getting weak kneed from his prose....Sometimes assisting, sometimes competing against his royal poet friend is a "British Longshanked Argit bird" ....his verse delivered in a sexy English accent, has the women equally subdued ....Always at the edge of the clearing is a bird who seems to want nothing but to push balls around with a stick and continualy wink and throw body gestures to the females...AHA!..it's the "BigFlirty Chicken Hawk"! That explains his familiar behavior and large female following. Darting in and out of the crowd is the "Red Winged YNot bird" who is continualy pinching the breasts of the females and running away...strange bird that one .....a "Pudgey Winged Hornbill" is wowing the masses with his superior intellect at producing coded messages...funny...he's not pudgey at all but quite lean...hhmmm ...Suddenly streaking through the crowd naked comes a sure footed "Slippery Dickens Bird" who is screaming it's not my fault!!! I was just BORN this awsome!....he's being chased by a group of females with sticks and rocks......the look on thier faces mean either they're going to kill him or molesticate him ...not sure which...not long after a "WooHoo bird" in a strangely mesmerizing hat runs by and waves "Hi everyone!"

to be continued..............

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by TheRainKing:
Part II ... Return of the Prodigal
Return of the Prodigal
Another Damn Joke Blog
A Song...for what we lose
Just a song...For the girl that brought you to life...By stopping your heart
Mating Rituals of the HornFronted, GrooveyTailed Rain King-Part2
Mating Rituals of the Hornfronted, GrooveyTailed Rain King-Part1
The Drivel that runs from my brain....
"Of Outlaw Bikers and Alice in Wonderland"
The New Kid in Town


Comments:

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maggiemae1969

Feb 1 @ 1:55PM  
ok I asked for an app for the HAREM ....... who the heck has got em ??? I want one .....
CrazyCraveman

Feb 1 @ 2:06PM  
It just occured to me as sat in my study smoking my pipe and pondering life's mysteries.

OK, and just what was in that pipe?!
tlc0766

Feb 1 @ 2:16PM  
does anybody wonder why he has a harem?? moving on to part 2 now.
Pudge2you

Feb 1 @ 2:17PM  
Aww dude... I finally made a blog not of my own creation... should i let it go to my head? Can't wait to see the next part and a "Having little or no value" Kudo to you!
PrincessKissy

Feb 1 @ 7:33PM  
I'm a head bird? Well, I'm a bird (in the British male mind) and I give head... so I guess it's appropriate. C'mere, Mister, lemme give you some!!
Sunshine79

Feb 1 @ 9:08PM  
Kudos babe...that was just SUPERIOR!!!
StraddleMyNose

Feb 2 @ 5:49AM  
lol...You're very creative in your writing. Good blog. You're getting a kudo from me on this!

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Mating Rituals of the Hornfronted, GrooveyTailed Rain King-Part1