AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

I'm Boycotting Big Titties!

posted 2/1/2007 4:41:58 AM |
6 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
  DickSlippery

Not really…but I got Ur attention, didn’t I? The truth is…I watch way 2 much TV. I guess it’s a side effect of becoming a full-time writer (That’s Potliticly Correct 4 my ass got laid-off, btw) that I have far 2 much time on my hands. I’m only human, 4 Christ’s sake. I can only jerk-off so many fucking times, y’know? So, I find myself watching a lot of TV. More specifically...I'm watching the fucking Exorcist, right? I know…I know, I thought I learned this fucking lesson when I wuz ten years old 2. Turns out I’m a fucking moron.

I know the movie iz all bullshit…Hollywood smoke and mirrors, I know that. The problem iz that’s it's precisely the kind of shit that gets me thinking, and we all know how bad that can be. The fact iz…true evil does exist. U don’t need me 2 tell U that. Uve got the Six O'clock news 4 that. And I have personally met the kind of evil that possesses another human being and then moves along on its merry fucking way. The motherfucker walked around behind me breathing on the back of my neck whenever I would visit this one particular spot. But, of course, no one wuz there. But that’s a blog 4 another day.

It did get me wondering, though…if U had the misfortune of having some evil entity possess Ur child…just who the fuck do U call? U can’t call mental health. Not unless U want 2 get the both of U committed. Call the church? Sure…just ring up the lady who takes orders 4 the food closet and ask her who iz in charge of exorcisms. U wanna hear a nun cuss? Is this the kinda shit Dr. Phil wants 2 hear about? "Um...yeah. My baby girl ain't right. I don't know, muthafucker, she all green! Her head's lookin like some kind of fucked up Rockem Sockem Robot or some shit, I don't fucking know. And the bitch stank...can U muthafuckers get her 2 wash her ass? Cuz we'd sure aprreciate it. We got some of those Glade air freshener fan muthafuckin thangs, but the shit ain't working. Not unless U stand right in front the muthafucker. Then it ain't 2 bad..." I'm thinking no...that's not what he wants 2 hear. Not since signing with match.com, anyway.

So Dr. Phil iz out, the county iz out, the church iz out, Ur fuck head friends are out cuz those cocksuckers are never around when U need them. Ur family's out. They didn’t want U 2 marry that bitch in the first place. “Its no wonder U had a devil child…just look at the company U keep.” So, who does that leave? Ur motivated. U got the money 4 the call. WHAT’S THE GODDAMNED NUMBER?

Fact of the matter iz…there iz no number. Nope. That shit happens 2 U…Ur pretty much fucked, Chief. Once the bitch starts levitating the bed and biting motherfuckers and shit U’ll be hard pressed 2 find a fucking priest that ain’t gonna be like, “Uh-uh…fuck that shit.” I promise U that. And social services? Assuming they can find the place 2 begin with? I’m sure the smell would be enough 2 keep them away.

But they would probably file a report. And undoubtedly, four 2 six months later that report would be followed up on. That means that if 4 some reason U happened 2 survive this harrowing, terrifying nightmare, U can expect a visit from Children’s Protective Services. Have fun explaining 2 them that Ur daughter wuz possessed by the fucking devil. Yeah…uh-uh…that’s why she fucked herself with a cross while U and three of Ur buddies from church stood around and watched. Cuz she wuz possessed. Oh…U took pictures of this so-called possession? Yeah...well we're just gonna go ahead and add child pornography charges 2 Ur booking sheet, U sick fuck. Thanks 4 pointing that out. Our case wuz a little weak. After intensive counseling and no doubt some jail time U might...might get supervised visitation with Ur kids. And that's only if U stop wasting the court's time with all this talk of the devil and whatnot and admit what U did 2 this child, U sick fuck!

That’s why if Ur gonna be possessed by some evil type shit, it really should be some Amityville type motherfucker that’s doing the haunting. Cuz, fuck it...that way Ur ass can just cut bait and move.


Keeping U posted

DS

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by DickSlippery:
The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. 5 (Part Two)
5. Bring The Boys Back Home
The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. 5 (Part One)
Has anybody checked the weather in Hell?
It's Nice 2 Know Some Things Never Change (Part Two)
It's Nice 2 Know Some Things Never Change (Part 1)
It’s All Crap Anyway
4. Vera
3. Nobody home
Why God Doesn't Give a Fuck If Ur Amish
My NEW PIC Wuz APPROVED!!!
A MIME IS A TERRIBLE THING 2 TASTE
I'm Boycotting Big Titties!
2. Is there anybody out there?
The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. 4
The Pursuit of Happiness (or this is Democracy, Motherfucker…Take it!)
Side 3: 1. Hey You
Random Thoughts and Scattered Ideas Vol. IV
Born again (yeah...like once wuzn't enough)
7. Goodbye Cruel World
In the year ?
The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. 3 (Part TWO)
The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. 3 (Part ONE)
6. Another Brick in the Wall Part 3
The FINAL DickSlippery Interview Pt. Two (Part TWO)


Comments:

post a comment!

WykedMommy165

Feb 1 @ 4:52AM  
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO, omg, I'm gonna miss this place!

WTF is with the phoenetic spelling?
DickSlippery

Feb 1 @ 4:55AM  
They're narcoglyphs, darlin. Don't worry...U get used 2 it. Just ask anyone.

DS
WykedMommy165

Feb 1 @ 5:01AM  
narcoglyphs.....looking that one up.......hmmmmmmmmmm

lol
lazyspoon

Feb 1 @ 5:35AM  


OMG that's awesome...
PrincessKissy

Feb 1 @ 7:36AM  
And the bitch stank...can U motherfuckers get her 2 wash her ass? Cuz we'd sure aprreciate it. We got some of those Glade air freshener fan motherfuckin thangs, but the shit ain't working. Not unless U stand right in front the motherfucker. Then it ain't 2 bad

You've fucked my ex roommate, haven't you? Admit it, cuz that's what living with her was like!!!
wtxman

Feb 1 @ 8:28AM  
Kudos to you Bro; what more can I say.
Pudge2you

Feb 1 @ 8:37AM  
I can say more... I think it would make sense to call WTX and his traveling circus for the fix for your demon daughter. I'm sure that for a proper donation, WTX would gladly take the Devil out for some drinks, and dancing, and maybe some heavy petting in the parking lot after....
Pudge2you

Feb 1 @ 8:38AM  
oh yeah a kudo thingy for you ya bastard. (Can't use the term worthless anymore, makes WTX nuts that I'm overusing his shit ya know.....)
MXW842

Feb 1 @ 8:45AM  
HOW CAN YA BOYCOTT somethang ya never got?? LOL
wtxman

Feb 1 @ 8:58AM  
No Pudge,whats driving me nuts is your refusal to pay me my frigging royalties on the usage of my copywrighted material you cheap ass bastard.
Lisa46

Feb 1 @ 9:07AM  
your insane!!!!! just incase you forgot thought I'd remind you
str8ngr84u2

Feb 1 @ 9:44AM  
HAHAHAHA!!! That is soo funny! Where the hell do you come up with this shit?? That is what I can an active imagination! God help your wife!
tlc0766

Feb 1 @ 10:13AM  
yep DS watched it again myself, what was we thinking???
ponme

Feb 1 @ 11:49AM  
OMFG what scares the fuck out of me.. is that I have had very much this same thought process.. damn.. I need a brainwash.
dixxxbitch

Feb 1 @ 6:56PM  
Thanx for the concern for me I really do need it this man of mine is slowlly getting closer to the "Babe we really need to get a professional for you to speek with!! "dont ya think, he is unique yes but I find my self with a sense of worry when I go to sleep and I've taken to keeping one eye open these days......
DickSlippery

Feb 1 @ 7:21PM  
As 4 professional help, dixxx? I keep telling U I don't need a hooker , but if U insist honey, I guess I'll give it a try. Anything 4 U love!

DS

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02
I'm Boycotting Big Titties!