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The Fantasy of Rape

posted 1/27/2007 5:37:48 PM |
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tagged: bdsm, rape myths, sociology

The act of rape is disgusting, and yet it is a fairly common fantasy for both men and women. “It is estimated that 24% of men and 36% of women have had a rape fantasy, and 10% of women report this is their favorite type of fantasy” (Bader cited in Wikipedia 2006). For the most part it is accepted that the fantasy of rape is not a true desire to be raped, but an expression of wanting to be sexual submissive.
“The most commonly held theory about this phenomenon is that many individuals turn to fantasies about being raped as a means of reconciling naturally-occurring sexual desires with the intense negative stigma their culture and/or creed affix to sexual activity. The fantasy serves as a psychological device through which the fantasizer can safely indulge in intense sexual experiences without guilt, by absolving themselves of responsibility for participating in the act” (Wikipedia 2006).
However a question to be raised about the 24% of men who according to Bader fantasies about rape, is are they waning to be raped or to do the raping. It appears that the most men who fantasies about rape, have a higher belief in the rape myths, and that often men who do hold such fantasies the fantasy is more focus on power and control and FORCE, then it is about domination. But this does not mean that the man is at a greater risk of becoming a rapist:
“On the one hand, clinical evidence suggests that fantasies play a role in the etiology of criminal sexual aggression. Sex offenders frequently fantasize about their crimes, both before and after committing them and modifying fantasies is often part of the treatment plan for sexual offenders On the other hand, fantasies of force are also relatively frequent among community controls as well as among men convicted of only nonsexual crimes . For example, Crepault and Couture (1980) reported that 33% of men who had never been convicted of a sexual crime fantasized at least sometimes about raping a woman” (Zurbriggen and Yost 2004).
But these men do seem to hold a higher belief in the rape myth(s) then most men. Zurbriggen and Yost, found in their study that “There were a variety of indications in our data that fantasies of dominance might be problematic for men. Most importantly, these fantasies were correlated with scores on the RMA measure. Men who fantasized about dominance were more likely to believe that women provoke rape by their dress or behavior, that women lie about sexual assault, and that some women deserve to be raped” (2004).

This raises some questions in myself, because I am one of those 23% of men that does hold the rape fantasy, and in the fantasy to be the one committing the rape. However, at least on a conscious level, I have never held any of the rape myths to be true. No woman asks to be rape, no matter their dress, their manor, or because they had sex once with a man (or woman) once. But I do know many men, both in and out of the BDSM community that do hold some of these beliefs, and what does it say about a our society as a whole where we still think that a person desires to be raped because of their actions.
I am not saying that a person should not be accountable for ones actions, if one is drunk and raped, that is clearly wrong, and the rapist needs to be held accountable for it. But the person who was raped also needs to think about how the got into that situation so that they can avoid it from happening again. This is not blaming the victim it is helping the victim have a better understanding of them self, so that they are less likely to find themselves in that situation again.

Just some food for thought, I'm sure to write on this topic and similar ones more.

Wikipedia “Rape Fantasy” retrieved 1/27/2006
Zurbriggen, E. L., & Yost, M. R. (2004). Power, desire, and pleasure in sexual fantasies. Journal of sex research, 41(3), 288-300.


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The Fantasy of Rape


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Jan 27 @ 7:25PM  
Dear Hat,
You bring up many questions and seem to be wanting to understand the fantasy of rape theory. Maybe you are questioning if you are normal. With all of this accounted for you have to scale back to the primal level that humans are just intellectual ANIMALS. In the wild animals court and mate. Every heifer in the herd wants to be mounted and impregnated my the best DOMINANT bull. I think the fantasy of rape is just part of our animalistic mature especially if we fancy ourselves as a good catch. Let's say you go to a party. You know attractive women will be their. You groom and dress to impress. At the party you notice two women. One is very attractive and the other is homely. If naked in bed which one would give you a raging hard on so you could fuck her down? Easy decision. Now which would you fantasize about raping? Same answer. I think the fantasy of rape is kind of like why getting goose bumps raises the hair on your arms. It is residual of the deep primal arousal that continues to lay deep in our evolved minds. All of what I have written should be in the realm of safe, sane and consensual adults. I am only addressing the fantasy of rape and will not delve into the reality of criminal non-consensual rape. That is sick. Above I used the "heifer=cow" and "bull" terminology because the BDSM lifestyle has adopted those terms. Let's say you and I meet and are dating. It is because we are attracted to each other. On a date you holding back until we are familiar with one another is to allow me to consent to your advances, have a glass of wine, tease you with some kisses and then finally let you mount me. Your urge to mount was probable at the moment of visual contact. Are you following my thoughts? Usually men want to be dominant and women allow advancement when they are also attracted to the male. The fantasy of rape just cuts out how we have intellectually evolved and let's you fantasize about being a desirable dominant bull in the herd. Women want to be desired. Why else do we spend so much on cosmetics and desire attention. Play rape can be a turn on. Sexual scenarios that support D/s priest/nun, Bad Boy/ Virgin, Grown man/schoolgirl Kisses

Jan 27 @ 7:34PM  
Dear toy,

No I wasn't questioning if it was a normal habit or not, it was more focused on exploring the differences between me and those males who do hold onto the rape myths, the rape myth is different then the rape fantasy. As I pointed out often men who have the rape fantasy also hold onto the rape myth as well, but I do not and I found that interesting.

Jan 27 @ 8:00PM  
Sorry. I addressed just the fantasy. The view that some men think rape is a myth are delusional because humans are intellectual and make consensual decisions. You are really interesting and intellectual. Kisses

Feb 11 @ 12:35AM  
I very much enjoyed the topic of discussion;it seems that that particular study could be a most common health related issue in maturing adults,I think I could related to my ideas of anxiety:something I've yet to understand.

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The Fantasy of Rape