"Of Outlaw Bikers and Alice in Wonderland" posted 1/24/2007 5:37:58 PM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse

TheRainKing

You probably read the title of this and thought "What the hell?!" Well it's just this...Bikers is what it's about and Alice in Wonderland is how I felt....because this one night...I didn't know how damn far down, the rabbit hole went....
For those who don't know, I'm a musician/songwriter...I've been playing music my whole life. Well one night when I was playing with my last band we played this bar....The gig had been set up by my drummers girlfriend because she had wanted to try managing/booking me for awhile. so I thought cool...I can save some money and make her happy too. Yep....big mistake.
When we arrived, the first upsetting thing was that it was a country bar. I've got nothing against country music but it ain't my thing and I wasn't prepared with country songs to play. Closest I had were old Eagles tunes. Ok...not a big deal...I think I'll make it.....The night went pretty smoothly until the groupies showed up. My band at the time was named "Iron Horse"...so naturaly we had some biker regulars that came to all the shows...It started mildly......the biker chicks started removing clothes...soon about 10 of them were butt naked on the dance floor of this bar amongst a bunch of drunk cowboys ...They were warned by security to get dressed which of course did no good. Soon nature took it's course and the bikers and the cowboys went to war over the women. We kept playing and I kept singing my ass off trying not to misfinger chords as I dodged flying cowboy hats and beer bottles....lol...Amazingly no one was really hurt. Security broke it up and the offending parties left. We played through the set and took our break. As I ambled up to the bar for a drink this big, mean looking biker from the few that were left handed me a note...it said....."Big D I love you.....come into the bathroom and I'll give you a blowjob" I turned and looked at this guy who was built like a linebacker for the Steelers and held up the note ..."It ain't fuckin from me!" he cries and points across the room to a slyly grinning woman old enough to be my grandmother....missing half her teeth and looking like she spent the last 20 years giving mouth to mouth to a bottle of scotch....."You sure it ain't from you?" I asked , turning to the biker...who just died laughing.. Needless to say I needed some air...so my bass player and I walked outside.....Just in time to see all the big, mean, tough, scary,.. fully geared up with chains,patches,tattoes and leather gloves,.. outlaw bikers who had just been fighting like hell, leave the parking lot........ piled in a station wagon. Not a chopper in site. There was even a stuffed Garfield stuck spread eagle to the inside of the window and a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus". We just fucking rolled with laughter!
But that's not all.....As we did our last set that night....The clogging team arrived. In full regalia, tap shoes and all...So we closed the show that night with a bunch of senior citizens clogging there ass off in bright colored outfits to KISS's "Rock and Roll All Night" ...lol...Needless to say my drummer's girlfriend stopped booking for us...lol...Ah the life of a traveling minstrel...how sweet ... Anyway I thought you'd get a kick out of hearing about it....later!

Peace and Love
DC The Rain King

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Blogs by TheRainKing: Part II ... Return of the Prodigal Return of the Prodigal Another Damn Joke Blog A Song...for what we lose Just a song...For the girl that brought you to life...By stopping your heart Mating Rituals of the HornFronted, GrooveyTailed Rain King-Part2 Mating Rituals of the Hornfronted, GrooveyTailed Rain King-Part1 The Drivel that runs from my brain.... "Of Outlaw Bikers and Alice in Wonderland" The New Kid in Town