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DREAMS OF THE EVERY-DAY RETIREE

posted 8/17/2013 1:34:52 AM |
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  J1958

Mary and I dated when I lived in LA, during my early 20’s. I haven’t seen her in 40-years, but we rediscovered each other on the net and have been corresponding for the last couple years.

Hi, Mary darlin’!

I’m fine. Thanks for caring. Hope you are good, too, and that news from Michelle is uplifting.

I wish I had something worth mentioning to report, but my adventures have screeched to an unceremonious crawl over the last 3-years.

Once a week I go over to the Manor to call Bingo and read the local paper aloud for the old folks holed up there. Every couple months, I go to a funeral and put another one away.

Once a week, I climb on the lawn mower and cut the grass. Every other week, I trim with the weed whacker.

Each day, I water the horses, feed the dog who lives outside in a corral, feed the outside cat, scoop the litter for the inside cats, fill the bird feeders and take my pills.

Around 2 pm, I make some sandwiches for Tulip’s lunch and pack them for take-out. When she comes down, we chat for about 5-minutes – mostly about the news and how much we hate Barrack Obama. Then, she’s gone. Sometimes, I see her for about 5-minutes when she gets home at midnight. Other times, I’m asleep.

I have my morning coffee, accompanied by multiple cigarettes, in the early afternoon following Tulip’s departure. I check my mail for the latest update in whatever argument I’m having with the son, currently calling himself "Jawn." This week we spent several thousand words discussing what he called his “new religion.” It is, according to his initial report, of his own invention and most closely resembles a hybrid bastard mix of Buddhism, Satanism and Jedi. After my furious objection to every point he attempted to make and the exchange of, sometimes, as much as 5 pieces of mail a day on the subject, he confessed he made the whole thing up. He does this from time to time. It began in high school when he used to make up stories about how he was in the back seat of a friend’s car drunk while it was going down the highway at over 100 MPH.

It amuses him to watch me turn red in the face and rant.

I make my dinner around 7 pm each day, often grilling a steak on the deck, nuking a potato in the microwave and opening a package of mixed lettuce, upon which I dump about a quart of dressing to be sure I don’t lose weight. This is working well as I have stabilized around 240 lbs.

I watch a movie with dinner and start a second movie when it’s over. Usually, I fall asleep during the opening credits of the second movie. I crawl through a haze into the bed and sleep until about 3am. We don't want to talk about what the computer and I do between 3 and 7am when I return to the bed, but I'll mention it involves diminishing returns with each engagement as time wears on.

Tulip and I go for a drive with the top down on Sunday. Our destination is most often the first settlement up the highway with stores. It’s called Harrisonburg or Harrisonville. I can never remember. We visit the member store where one can only buy in bulk. It's called...I can never remember. There, we buy a 10-year supply of anything we have run out of. This is why we have a separate cabinet in the kitchen for peanut butter and why there are groceries in the upstairs hall closet.

We have Sunday dinner at a new place in Harrison-something each week, drive home and play Gin until I win. On Mondays we work in the garden, pulling up weeds someone comes by and replants on Tuesdays.

All the way around, life’s pretty damn splendid. After decades of struggling against my father’s best advice, I have discovered in my dotage the wisdom of his words, “Son, your primary function in life should be to get all the rest you can.”

I tell you all this by way of explaining why I haven’t written in a while. As you can see, my life is so crammed with pressing urgencies there’s little time for frivolous pursuits such as recreational mail.

I have to go now to resume my vigil by the front door where I’ve been waiting all morning for the arrival of the FedX man. I’m expecting a package from a big and tall shop in Milwaukee where I’ve been getting clothes since George Zimmer left The Men’s Warehouse. I’m indifferent about the package, but I don’t want to miss the dialog with the deliveryman.

Hugs,
M

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Blogs by J1958:
DREAMS OF THE EVERY-DAY RETIREE
WASTED DAYS AND WASTED SITES
HELPING GEEZERS STAY HIP
literary --THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM
AMERICAN ANTHEM 2 0 1 6
Essay – Does POT = PEACE?
Opinion – WHAT I LEARNED IN THE 5TH GRADE ABOUT PATRIOTISM
informational -- The New News
WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR DISRESPECT?
more satire - WHAT? YOU WANT TO USE YOUR STRAP-ON?
satire - TEN THINGS COMING IN THE NEXT 50-YEARS
WHY THE LONE RANGER CAN’T CATCH A BREAK
I’M COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET !
EGYPT; A Lesson in Sociology
I HAVE BEEN WRONG ON GAY MARRIAGE AND MUST CONFESS IT
PRIMER ON USE OF THE BRAIN
IT'S TIME SOMEONE MENTIONED...
BE GLAD YOU'RE ALREADY HERE !
THE ALL NEW ALL LIBERAL OSCARS
satire - A World Without Women


Comments:

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alexhawke99

Aug 17 @ 2:12AM  
There you go old boy. That was amusing and a fun read. So much better then the chronicles of the bereaved semi-widows of the world around us. Looks like the hens had the bi-guy removed as well. I guess it's better we read about a cock lost then a cock wanted........LOL>>>>>>>>>
Wordsofwit

Aug 17 @ 12:53PM  
That kind of typifies life day in day out, and not just for us 'geezers". It is more like everyday people and their everyday world. Even if there is a variation in the routine, it can seem quite boring to others.

Besides, often it is kind of like the news. When there is something that is significant or interesting, it is much more likely to be something that isn't good news
J1958

Aug 17 @ 1:02PM  
Bruce...so what you are saying is that it's like the hair on top of my head...neither here nor there?

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DREAMS OF THE EVERY-DAY RETIREE