AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Aging is better than the alternative

posted 8/7/2013 11:55:35 PM |
0 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
  LadyRamRod_

Home Depot and a man's age









A MAN'S AGE, AS DETERMINED BY A TRIP TO HOME DEPOT

You are in the middle of a few projects at your home: putting in a new
fence, painting the basement walls, putting in a new garden. You are hot and
sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt and paint. You have your old
work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch,
old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis
shoes.

Right in the middle of these projects you realize you need to run to Home
Depot for supplies.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20s:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush
your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne
because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing
in the checkout line.


And yes, you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes.
You married the hot chick so no need for much else.
Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got
it. Add a shot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell.

The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to
school with.

In your 40s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover
the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute is
almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.

The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel
weird about thinking she's spicy.

In your 50s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto
your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new
sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt
any more because it makes you look fat.

The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think
you still have it. Then you remember -- the hat you have on is from Bubba's
Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms '

In your 60s:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the dog crap off
your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50s.
You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.

The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses
on, so you're not sure.

In your 70s:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has
your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes.

The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are
hanging out the hole in your crotch.

In your 80s:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you
need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead.
You went to school with the old lady greeter.

You wander around trying to remember what you are looking for. Then you fart
out loud and think someone called your name.

In your 90s & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I?
Why am I reading this?
Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?





Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by LadyRamRod_:
Eight words with two Meanings
Kerry Signs Global Gun Control Accord.............
Is Romance Dead?
Private lobbyists get state pensions
!6 Year Old Fusioneer
An amazing young man
Term Limits, or Politics as usual !!
Things that will disappear in out lifetime
An Obituary printed in the London Times
$20.00 for sex
Ben Bernanke's bankster pals, looting the American wealth
There are no Republicans in Chicago
Aging is better than the alternative
Turns Out Nearly Everyone Wants GMO Labeling
Campaign For Freedom.....................John Tate
PAUL: Immigration reform's fatal flaw
A Country Founded by Geniuses but Run by Idiots
Paul: The coup that isn't as Obama disregards his duty to cut off Egyptian aid
Unlock your body's own "prescription" to heal itself....
Their real enemy is freedom
NSA Spying Scandal
it's just a coincidence of course!
A Test of Police Allegiance
What really died in Auschwitz
Do you trust President Obama?


Comments:

post a comment!

whosewho

Aug 8 @ 12:23AM  
In your 60's:
Wonder what you were doing. No need for a hat any more unless it's your Santa Claus hat for Christmas. Hose the dog crap off your shoes if you can see over your gut. The mirror was shattered and replaced by a picture of you in your 20's.
You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants but nothing is left to hang out.

The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses
on, so you're not sure.

Sorry but the revisions reminded me of 'twit', the obit guy.

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
Aging is better than the alternative