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100 Things You Can Say To Irritate A Republican

posted 7/28/2013 7:10:40 PM |
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tagged: humor, satire
  RevDocLove

Funny Shit!!!!!

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Comments:

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RJ53

Jul 29 @ 1:49AM  
Jesus was a liberal.

Actually he was a long haired bearded peace and love sandal wearing hippie who I am sure would be disgusted at what has been done in his name,
Wordsofwit

Jul 29 @ 2:58AM  
Ten percent is funny, fifteen percent is interesting, and seventy five percent was used to reach one hundred.
J1958

Jul 29 @ 4:36AM  
100 Things You Can Say to Irritate a Democrat:

1 - You freakin' commie bastard.

(for 99-100 repeat #1. The more they hear it, the closer they come to understanding equality is the central tenet of both disciplines.)

How does it escape sane people that enacting law is the only way to make people, who WERE NOT born equal, equal? And how does it escape these folks that LAW is an abridgement of freedom in EVERY case. It follows that FREEDOM must be sacrificed in order to achieve EQUALITY, and a society must decide which is most important.

We became who we were because we chose FREEDOM. We are becoming who we will be because we preferred EQUALITY. Don't be a sucker and get bogged down by arguments about political parties. They're a distraction. They and their respective platforms are shaped by your values; like the way in which YOU weigh LIBERTY and EQUALITY.

TwistAndShout

Jul 29 @ 5:13AM  
How does it escape sane people that enacting law is the only way to make people, who WERE NOT born equal, equal?

The founding fathers had a lot of trouble with that one too. Guess they were all commies.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Personally, I don't go in for posting blatantly partisan blogs on sites like this. They're just designed to piss people off and start something, and they don't enlighten. Usually it's the conservatives on here (LRR, Straddle, Cocktail) who post this crap. I can't say I find the ones posted by liberals to be any more entertaining.
J1958

Jul 29 @ 5:45AM  
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Twist…this is a very interesting group of words. Try reading it without assuming you already know what it means.

It says “we” (the framers) believe all men are created equal. Then, it says the creator gave certain rights to all of men. Then it lists those rights, including life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It DOES not say the document is designed to guarantee anyone equality. It merely says the framers believe men were created equal. That’s not the same thing as guaranteeing to make them equal, in case it turns out that the framers were wrong and, by golly, they’re not equal at all.
But it does, in kind, guarantee the right to life, LIBERTY and the pursuit of happiness.

I could list conflicting statements from the preamble, the bill and the rest of the Constitution, but none of that is the point of my statement. My point is that we as a people must decide what is most important to us when we are called upon to weigh the importance of FREEDOM against EQUALITY. How we come down on that issue will determine the shape of political parties, The Supreme Court, and the government, itself. That stands, regardless of what the Constitution may say. And it always will.

In my lifetime, I have seen the Supreme Court repeatedly twist the Constitution into a bastard of its original self to serve what the Court has determined should be the social goals of the nation. That observation has taught me it makes very little difference what the document actually says, or what it was intended by the framers to mean.

What makes a difference is what the American people believe. I think we did better when we believed freedom was more important to us than enforced equality. Don't you agree?
TwistAndShout

Jul 29 @ 8:39AM  
It DOES not say the document is designed to guarantee anyone equality.

Nor did I ever say it said that.

I merely pointed out that they plainly believed all men are created equal. That directly contradicts your statement that people are not born equal.

But it gave you an excuse to go on a long, predictable rant. You can thank me later.

I think we did better when we believed freedom was more important to us than enforced equality.

Sure, if you weren't a slave, or if you were permitted to vote, or if you weren't subject to enforced inequality. Life was pretty good when the job you wanted was limited to someone of your color and gender and you had artificially limited competition for that job.

Well, unless you happened to be another color or gender. That probably didn't feel so free.
TwistAndShout

Jul 29 @ 9:20AM  
I could list conflicting statements from the preamble, the bill and the rest of the Constitution, but none of that is the point of my statement.

You do know that I wasn't quoting the Constitution, don't you?
RevDocLove

Jul 29 @ 2:10PM  
Guess ol' Pus Pussy Mikey missed the tags..
RevDocLove

Jul 29 @ 2:12PM  
See, Pus Pussy Mikey, it DID irritate you
J1958

Jul 29 @ 5:49PM  
I merely pointed out that they plainly believed all men are created equal. That directly contradicts your statement that people are not born equal.

Do you think I should feel some responsibility to believe what the framers believed on a personal level, but chose NOT to guarantee as a right enforceable by the government? Clearly, they also believed all rights flow from “the creator”, but I don’t believe that either, nor am I obliged to believe it. What’s important and cogent here is that the Constitution does not guarantee the government will enforce equality, but it DOES express the pursuit of liberty as a right.


Sure, if you weren't a slave, or if you were permitted to vote, or if you weren't subject to enforced inequality.

Let’s not get silly about it. The Emancipation Proclamation called for an end to slavery in 1862. Two years later, the union won the civil war and slaves have not been legally held since. After that, everyone had a legal right to apply for any job he wished and business owners had a legal right to deny service and jobs to anyone they wished.

More recently, the government decided to remove those rights from people in business. These are but 2-freedoms once held by Americans which have been abridged in the pursuit of equality. You could fill up this blog with the others.

Today, you do not even have the right to hate black people or you will serve time in prison above your sentence for a crime under the “hate crime” statutes. The government has, literally, taken away from you the right to think as you wish. Yet, we are no closer to EQUALITY than we ever were and that is because people are NOT equal to each other, and stripping us of every freedom we have left will not make them so.

How much freedom must be lost before we Americans realize what it is costing us to pursue an impossible agenda? How long before we understand substituting EQUALITY for FREEDOM as our nation’s signature value is the philosophical leap to Communism?
J1958

Jul 29 @ 5:57PM  
Guess ol' Pus Pussy Mikey missed the tags.

Sure, I saw the tags. And I'm sure my response was just as funny as the inane nonsense you posted. In fact, I'll bet it evoked more laughter than all 100 of your vicious remarks, very few of which even resemble humor.

You should have been there to advise George Carlin or Lenny Bruce or Lewis Black on the importance of keeping humor entirely separate from political philosophy.
J1958

Jul 29 @ 5:59PM  
...and, maybe, you should do it yourself, if you don't want political philosophy right back in your face.
TwistAndShout

Jul 29 @ 7:38PM  
What’s important and cogent here is that the Constitution does not guarantee the government will enforce equality, but it DOES express the pursuit of liberty as a right.

My quote wasn't from the Constitution. It was from the Declaration of Independence.

Yet you responded to a quote from it by saying you could find other things in the Constitution that conflict with my quote.

Buddy, if you're going to pontificate on the Constitution, you'd think you'd be able to tell it from the Declaration.


J1958

Jul 29 @ 8:18PM  
Please read more carefully before shagging flies in center field. Nobody said you were quoting the constitution. But the Constitution was under no obligation to reflect anything written in the Declaration. So why even bring up the Declaration? Why does ANYONE bring it up?

This is why I said, "What’s important and cogent here is that the Constitution does not guarantee the government will enforce equality, but it DOES express the pursuit of liberty as a right."

How do you interpret that to mean I think you were quoting the Constitution. What I'm saying is that the words in the Declaration you cited were written before we had a country and, though I would quarrel with them, there is no point inasmuch as they promise American's nothing; nor was that the intention of Jefferson in the document.

It's no fun to argue with someone who refuses to address the point of the argument and, instead, is hell-bent to digress into irrelevant nonsensical arguments.

Let's get it straight. You enjoy a guarantee that you will have equal protection under the law. You ARE NOT guaranteed a campaign by the government or the Supreme Court to make you equal to anyone else, nor is it guaranteed that you were born equal to anyone else, in spite of the best efforts of those combined offices to persuade Americans the ARE equal to each other. Moreover, the point I wish to debate is the way in which we have allowed the pursuit of EQUALITY to denigrate FREEDOM. Are you in any way able to speak to that concern?
TwistAndShout

Jul 30 @ 5:08AM  
Nobody said you were quoting the constitution. But the Constitution was under no obligation to reflect anything written in the Declaration. So why even bring up the Declaration?

When I quoted the Declaration nobody was discussing the Constitution in this blog or any of the comments. I quoted it just to point out that the founding fathers disagreed with you on being born equal.

But there's another reason for mentioning it. Someone might do so for the amusement of getting a silly, one-note old fart to blow up with misplaced outrage and spew volumes of verbal diarrhea.

So, here, let's do it again.

J, the Constitution is a living document. It was written for an isolated agrarian nation sitting on the edge of a vast, unexplored continent. Necessity requires that it be reinterpreted to reflect the realities faced by a modern super power in the 21st century.

Unleash the verbal diarrhea, J!

J1958

Jul 30 @ 1:26PM  
But there's another reason for mentioning it. Someone might do so for the amusement of getting a silly, one-note old fart to blow up with misplaced outrage and spew volumes of verbal diarrhea.

So, here, let's do it again.

J, the Constitution is a living document. It was written for an isolated agrarian nation sitting on the edge of a vast, unexplored continent. Necessity requires that it be reinterpreted to reflect the realities faced by a modern super power in the 21st century.

Unleash the verbal diarrhea, J!

If you want my take on that observation, all you have to do is ask for it. You could explain how much you value my opinion and perspective and you could mention that every time you promote a missive from me you learn something new or discover another way of viewing complex problems.

You could read carefully, assimilate my thinking and, if you still have questions, ask for clarification or deeper amplification.

I’ve been paid considerable amounts of money for no more studied pieces than I’ve delivered here for FREE! The least you could do is be gracious in their consumption.

I have a carefully thought-out remark or two I could deliver on your paragraph. My thinking would surely assist you in future discourse on the subject. But you cannot have it on a disrespectful dare. You must ask for it like a civilized gentleman. What you CAN have is the verbal diarrhea that you encourage with your unnecessary and demeaning personal remarks.

Are we having any fun yet, my fine, feathered fundament?
J1958

Jul 30 @ 3:30PM  
Nevermind -- I've decided everyone has a right to know what's on my mind in this connection, but it's too far removed from the nonsense tone of this post, so I'll start a separate one. Come join me with your comments as they are like a pocketful of dingleberries one might spread among the pristine corn nuggets in a hen coup.
TwistAndShout

Jul 30 @ 6:19PM  
You could explain how much you value my opinion and perspective and you could mention that every time you promote a missive from me you learn something new or discover another way of viewing complex problems.

You could read carefully, assimilate my thinking and, if you still have questions, ask for clarification or deeper amplification.

I’ve been paid considerable amounts of money for no more studied pieces than I’ve delivered here for FREE! The least you could do is be gracious in their consumption.

I've decided everyone has a right to know what's on my mind in this connection

It might surprise you, J, but I do believe in capitalism and I'm a long-time investor. And I would LOVE to buy you at the value others place on you and sell you at the value you place on yourself.

Unfortunately, that's the opposite of the way the market works.

J1958

Jul 30 @ 10:39PM  
I would LOVE to buy you at the value others place on you and sell you at the value you place on yourself.

Earlier, you had a problem with buying and selling people. Now this.

Shall I count the ways I annoy you? What am I to do about the "handsome quotient"? Blame your mommy and daddy for this disparity between us. Must I apologize for being more talented, more charming, more eloquent, more sensitive, more accomplished, more popular, more interesting, more intelligent, better informed, and more humble than you.

We can't all be me. But those of us who are not don't need to complain about it to the point of nausea.
TwistAndShout

Jul 31 @ 5:05AM  
Must I apologize for being more talented, more charming, more eloquent, more sensitive, more accomplished, more popular, more interesting, more intelligent, better informed, and more humble than you.

Nope. The mere fact that you feel you must constantly explain to people how intelligent and successful you are makes it clear you've nothing to apologize for on any of those counts.
J1958

Jul 31 @ 5:22AM  

Nope. The mere fact that you feel you must constantly explain to people how intelligent and successful you are makes it clear you've nothing to apologize for on any of those counts.

Ahmon start a-tawkin like ishere. Thataway ya’ll ul start-a thankin ahm mo like ya’ll ‘n won’t spect ah no so damn much. Inen, ever tahm ah open mah mouf ta say sumpen, ah won’t halfta lissen ta thishere horseshit about me braggin on how dam smart ah am. I ain’t never sed ah was smart. Thas YO take oneet. All ah ever done was put mah to sense along wif the rest-a ya’lls. YOU the one decided I’s smart. Don’t blame me fer it, ya tater-suckin, bug-squashin icehole.
TwistAndShout

Jul 31 @ 5:41AM  
YOU the one decided I’s smart.

I've made no such decision, J. I'm more in the camp that you are merely a lonely old man who's alienated everyone in his life, and who is now reduced to spending his days writing tedious essays that try to sell tired old objectivist claptrap to a tiny audience on a failing adult dating site.


J1958

Jul 31 @ 7:06AM  
you are merely a lonely old man who's alienated everyone in his life, and who is now reduced to spending his days writing tedious essays that try to sell tired old objectivist claptrap to a tiny audience on a failing adult dating site
.

What would that make Y O U ?
RevDocLove

Aug 1 @ 3:55PM  
Damn it's fun being hijacked by a jackoff Pussy pussy

Go get em T& S

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100 Things You Can Say To Irritate A Republican