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Gilligan's Land Yacht

posted 4/16/2013 7:37:32 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

Despite being a month behind last years planting pace in the garden, things are taking off. All of the spinach, lettuce, beets, radishes and chard are coming up. The warm crops should go in close to on schedule.

I would normally be progressing to the warm crops now but we are in the middle of four days of rain, cold rain. So I am being serene about it. It is much needed after two years of record drought.

I need a source for rich easily accessible free top soil as there are too many roots in the hardwood forest here. My daughter found one for me, lot dirt from some horse people. All I had to do was go get it. Early Sunday afternoon provided the window of opportunity of a few hours when the ground would be dry enough, yet before the next round of rain came in.

She knew where it was but was not leaving the house and the people were out of town (if you want to call the location"town"). It was about a twenty mile jaunt through back roads that was not doable with MapQuest. She gave me directions and drew a map. Well, one of the roads(still paved) was not the route number she said it was and I wound up about ten miles too far to the north.

I turned around and took a chance at dead reckoning on where I thought the right road should be. I got it right and was elated But all of these twists and turns wound up being many more miles and much more time than I was led to believe. I had also messed up and didn't put any more gas in my V8 SUV, and the excursion was much more gas also. The clouds began to build as my fuel, time, and peace of mind began to diminish

A song began to play in my head, "Five passengers set sail one day on a three hour cruise, a three hour cruise"

I found my next turn, a one lane gravel road. Over the next ten miles the SUV began to ding audibly and flash warning about low fuel on the onboard computer screen. The nearest gas was the fart I had cut about ten minutes before

I then came across my last turn onto a glorified cattle trail. I saw nobody, not even a horse or a cow. Every mile or so I would see a ranch. Well, I wouldn't actually see the ranch as it would be over the hills and far, far away. All that I would see was the entrance that would have ornate brick work and/or wrought iron, usually with an arch proudly proclaiming it to be the "Horse Shit Ranch" or some such thing. The SVC was dinging louder with more frequent flashes about the fuel that rises in shrillness to match my obscenities

Now allow me to digress. I am not from this area. Hell, I doubt there are a few dozen people from this area. But there should be a few people reading this who been to an area like this somewhere in the distant vicinity of Hooterville and Pixley.

Please answer me this: How can people shell out thousands of bucks on the entrance to their palatial country estate and still have a rusty or tattered mailbox across from it with no name or address on it

Anyway, I am down to looking for landmarks and nothing matches. I finally see some people and ask them about the place, people's name and even vehicles I am looking for. They say they have lived in the area for years and know almost everybody, but not the people or anything I am describing. One guy says there may be a place further down the road. I thank them and carry on.

Finally I get to the end of the road as the rain begins having never seen anything close to what I was told to look for It ends at a paved road that I recognize It is the road that I went too far north on I calculate where I am and turn north, go two miles and find the way back home. I make it to a gas station too But it turns out that the directions, though mostly correct, were the loonnngggg way to get there

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Comments:

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Linda318

Apr 16 @ 9:39AM  
Welcome to Missouri! I have done that many times looking for a house or road.
soft_touch938

Apr 16 @ 9:43AM  
Well look at it this way...ya had a nice long country ride, met some country people, ya have a good idea now how far your SUV will go on fumes, you had a chance to practice vivid and colorful vocabulary and ya still found ur way back home!!! Sounds like a marvelous adventure to me....LOL LOL LOL
Wordsofwit

Apr 16 @ 10:07AM  
Leave it to me to not appreciate the simple pleasures of life
sugarnspice005

Apr 16 @ 11:43AM  
Yeah, MapQuest isn't known for giving the short cut directions.

Don't ya just love those long country drives? So peaceful....when one isn't trying to find a destination and listening to that annoying warning ding about low fuel. I know what you're talking about, we have those gravel roads and out in the middle of nowhere ranches/dairy farms. At least you found a gas station, I've been the lucky one to run out and hike it on foot with the gas can to get a gallon or two and walk back. Not fun. Which is why now I make sure my car's tank never gets lower than a quarter tank...................................... well wait, with gas prices the way they are now, my "quarter tank" mark is now the halfway mark.

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Gilligan's Land Yacht