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What a difference a day makes

posted 4/9/2013 11:26:32 AM |
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I'll be the first one to admit that I'm moody. Always have been, probably always will be. Most of the time I can pin down what causes my mood swings but it doesn't help to know...I still have them.

Yesterday I was up, hyped, full of piss 'n vinegar. I got a lot of work done and felt good about it. Today?

I feel like crap!

Mornings aren't a good time for me and I often get up sorta feeling like crap but given an hour or so and I pull myself outta any black mood. It's gonna take longer today, methinks.

I've got the blues...just the damn blues. Like every other person on this earth, I wish life would flow along smooth but it never does. In this age of technology, nothing ever goes smooth and gettin' shit straightened out is time consuming and frustrating. Take yesterday for instance. I've been one payment ahead on my insurance since January so they needed to skip a monthly pymt but they haven't. My insurance people have called them several times and they can't seem to accomplish anything so yesterday, I decided to take the bull by the horns and try to do it myself.

My house phone still isn't restored so I had to use my cell phone and that's treacherous in staying connected...I lost the first call after being on hold for over 5 minutes (wasting my minutes!). To make a long story short, I got a really nice lady and I think...I THINK....I got it straightened out. I told them I didn't want to skip a month but I wanted that money returned to my bank account...pronto! Well, it could take up to 10 days but I can live with we'll see if that actually happens.

But those kind of calls just wear on my nerves. Not to mention that the whole thing pisses me off in the first place. If all this technology is so great then why do I find myself on the phone everytime I turn around having to work to straighten out their fuck-ups???

A couple of months ago, I thought I could simplify my life by using my online bill pay through my bank. It has been nothing but a frikkin' headache! It is confusing to say the least. Then the first of this month I get an e-mail from my bank that they hadn't received the March bill from the electric company and I needed to call them to check on my balance. Grrrrrrrrrrr another one of those "punch this 'n that 'n then wait" calls. But my bill had been paid and was up to date.

So now, I want to get off paying them thru the bank and do you think that's simple? NOT! Two offer me the the option to opt out....the other two doesn't so I'll have to call the bank to get those removed.

Ya'll know I haven't been feeling well all winter. Actually, it started early last summer when my knee and hip was hurting me so bad. Then in Nov. I got that flu and it was downhill from then on. I have been so wracked with pain all over my body and didn't know why. The x-rays on my knees and hips showed nothing and the pain just kept getting worse. Finally, last week I asked the doctor to write me a prescription for Celebrex. I took it for years for arthritis and fibromyalgia but it got to the place I couldn't afford it as it doesn't come in generic.

Now, I was desperate to try anything. They gave me samples to try first to see if they worked and they did...from day one! For the first time in nearly a year, I am mostly pain free! I knew fibromyalgia was a nasty thing, but I never realized just how bad it could be. But..............

Now that's gonna add another $45.00 to my monthly bills...sigh... I will have to make it work because, truthfully? I'd rather be dead then live with that daily intense pain anymore.

So I guess today's blues are from feeling so edgy over finances. From hoping against hope that the problem with my insurance pymts are finally solved. Hoping that after I call the bank that those headaches are over with and they don't create new ones with technical glitches with the change-over back to the way I paid them before. I won't know that until next month at bill paying time...another sigh....

So many things in life are irritating...just little things that feel like tiny splinters under your skin...they irritate and if there are several of them at once then it's like they turn into a boil on your ass that festers.

I had given some thought to creating my own website where I could post stories and poems. I went to GoDaddy and checked it out. The cost was reasonable but I took the time to read their rules. I'm finally getting it through my head that no matter where you post something...and it's the same here...whatever you write, becomes their property. I'm not sure how legally binding that is but it pisses me off to no end! Why look anywhere else to create a website? It'll be the same no matter what site it is. So...end of that dream! Dammit!!!!

If one has the money, they can publish their own books but try submitting a manuscript to a publishing company and they make it so complicated...and costly if you want your material read sooner....that for the normal person, it's just more headache than it's worth.

And I miss my kids...long story. They have busy lives...too busy for Mom, I guess.

Continued in comments....

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Apr 9 @ 11:26AM  
Susie irritates me. My sis, Jean, irritates me. I do have to wonder why I'm so easily irritated...just in my genes, I I guess I'm just lacking in patience.

Susie and I are doing much better. Why? Well, it's like this...I love her but I just don't care anymore....can you understand that? So much has been a thorn in my side all winter and I've been working on it. I finally saw the flaw in my thinking. I was thinking that we were in a committed relationship...then I discovered I can't do commited. Dedicated, yes. Exclusive, yes but not committed.

I have some hard and unyielding rules where committed is concerned and the main one ex's allowed in any way, shape or form! I find when I feel committed, then I become too focused on my partner and forget about me. I think friends with benefits works best for me so that's how I look at us now. I find it a lot easier to tell her "NO" so I can have my space that I need. But she still can push my buttons and I'm learning to just blow it off.

With Sis....that clown she hooked up with in Florida...I'm sick of hearing about it. She knew he was a liar but was determined to trap him in his lies. She had enough evidence a long time ago but NO...she wanted to set a big trap for him so he couldn't squeeze out of it. Well, she finally snapped that trap but now she feels guilty and sad that she hurt him...WTF??? I wish she'd just move on and find something else to talk about!

Ok...enough...time to get off here and get to work. It's cold in the garage but it's gettin' warmer outside so if I open the big door, it'll warm up in there. Who knows...I just might find my workbench before this day is over!



Apr 9 @ 5:56PM  
When I had an account with a bank, I tried the whole "online pay" thing too, and all it took was one mortgage payment to get "lost", and that was enough for me! It took forever for the mortgage company to finally "find" that payment. Since then, I go straight to the site where my mortgage is, I have an account set up there, and when the first of the month comes around, I sign into that account, click on the "make a payment" button, select "send one time payment now", and choose which account from my credit union I'm using to make the payment, submit, and print out my receipt which also has the confirmation number. Been doing that now for about 2 years, and haven't had an incident with it since. Online bill pay is convenient, it saves me money buying stamps, and I know...that doesn't help the post office, but, I gotta do what I gotta do.

I've been so happy not having a land line phone. It's been so blissfully quiet not having to deal with that card member services crap. And yes, they are scammers, thieves, whatever one wants to call them. I mean, they are calling offering a lower interest on my credit card...problem is, when they had started calling, I didn't have a credit card, and when I tried to tell them that, they hang up mid sentence. So if they ever call....remember they are NOT legitimate!

Wow...we are having our first thunderstorm of the spring season! Of course, my dogs refuse to go outside when it's pouring out. The very same clowns that don't mind rolling in snow, or "lounging" in my little "pond" in the backyard. But let it rain, and the fools act like they're going to melt. And did I ever mention all 5 of them love baths? I fill up the tub, and whichever one I call is willing to hop in that tub for their bath...but rain, nope, they turn into insta wimps.

Looks like you've found the right way to feel with your relationship with Susie. As for your Sis.........if she were my sister, I'd be calling her all sorts of "dummy". lightens the mood...especially if you're looking in the mirror and make a funny face at yourself.

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What a difference a day makes