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I'm disgusted with myself for what I've done.

posted 4/6/2013 4:31:56 AM |
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tagged: brooks, griffin

The internet is powered by hate and cats. and if even possible, cats that hate everything. This we know to be true. I originally came to MD and AMD to find ap lace to blog my thoughts without any actual worrying about what others think of me. And for the most part, tearing a few new holes has been largely theraputic. seriously, but at some point, you just have to take a step back and realize that all is not right with the broken paths you find yourself on.

I mean, for god sakes, I've spent the last five or six nights tearing Brooks a new one for something that I could've just as easily stayed out of! Seriously! And by rights, the guy has every right to be pissed off at the site for kicking him off. I mean, really, what did he ACTUALLY do? tell me. Seriously, tell me, I want to know, because I want to be able to decide if repeatedly rehashing a different storm of insults is worth all thep otential fucked upness I'll have to deal with in t he off line world.

now, I would really like to set the record straight, no to online dick bags being even bigger dickbags, but you have every right to defend yourself as you see fit. Seriously, why am I theo nly user tearing this guy a new one?

I realize that the gorup of people I'm writing at is in their golden years, and that's fine and dandy. i realize there are going to be times where writing a bunch of angry words on a screen is completely justified. but that's not me. i showed a hideous siode of myself, that while enjoyable from time to time, is only so for small periods of time, because afterwards, I personally feel dirty inside.

I've been through thhis kind of thing before, where I just wratchted it up constantly, letting my anger get the better of me to the point where I'm just this hollow shell of a user.

And yes, you may call me out if you want and say all the things you want to say about my past posts, because thats freedom of speech. you're more then welcome to write whatever suits you, as am I. And yes, in theb eginning, mym ind just focused like a beam of blog hate on making this dude feel as crappy as possible. but after t his last post, even as I wrote it, as I edited it, I cxouldn't help but question why I continued on with htis useless plight of mine.

Was there a end point to this? would there be a point where people would just take this guy off of MD BY BANNING HIS IP ADRESS as I've suggested multiple times!? No. no one does anything, because at this point, what theh ell point is there to getting the guy off the site!? None. because there wioll always be assholes you have to deal with.

Brooks, f'uck your couch. At the same time, let go of whatever is eating at you so bad that drove you to keep this thing going. honestly...

to the rest of you, why poke me on? Why? Is it that you've run out of things to say to this guy? did you REALLY need him to feel like shit as much as I feel like it right now? at this point, MD and AMD have their own shit each is going through and while I feel that going through each side is prophetically THE absolute WORST idea, it all boils down to one thing.

That someone, and follow me here, somebody wrote something another person didn't like.

That's all it is. these sites are snoobish, I'm sorry if that costs me even more, but it's the truth. the old snapping at the young because of some wordso n a screen? Really? i might have written some ass hattish things during the past week or two, but god damned, talk about pity. and before you cause hell and high water to rain down on me, let me take those worries off your shoulders.

"but he did this!"
Yeah. He did. And he'll continue doing it regardless of what we say or write in blog posts that he may or may not read. he'll read mine, because he thinks I'm his. Yay for him, a perceived idea of ownership over another person. Meh.

"Age means experience!"
I said nothing about how old you were affecting anything, did I? I said golden years, old snapping at the young, and some other things.

"You suck!"
you blow. I'm not here to paint the town red with Brooks' blood. but apparrently, that's what I got encouraged to turn this into.

"Stay strong and have fun."
Of course, I'll always have fun here, and I will stay strong.

I'm not some psycho as you've repeatedly stated. I'm not some emotionally stunted 33 year old man child with the overall perception of something redundant that I put in another blog.

"The titles the only reason I checked it out."
Well, whatever works for you, I'm sorry that people here don't like you for being a asshole for ten years to them, go and cry in the corner about it.

I'm tired, angry at myself and for the most part, annoyed. Look, I'm happy for the friends I've made here and all that fun stuff. But I'm going to break away from the hate blogging, because that's not who I am as a person.

that's all I wanted to say, if you've got a problem with it, you're more than welcome to leave a comment, hit me up in the messages or even slap me aorund in your own blog posts about growing a conscious and making a single man feel like crap because he's rubbing you all the wrong way.

From what I've seen, aside from the occasional prods at me, Brooks is okay, an ass, and whatever anger I have towards him will go away after a while. Yesterday I learned that I SCARED a man so badly, that he freaked out and blocked a woman that he had previously that same night dedicated a video to.

Politics, religion, different views on the color purple, fu'ck it all.

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Apr 6 @ 4:52AM  
Let the fun begin.

Apr 6 @ 5:01AM  
And for the most part, tearing a few new holes has been largely theraputic
. i showed a hideous siode of myself, that while enjoyable from time to time, is only so for small periods of time, because afterwards, I personally feel dirty inside
And yes, in theb eginning, mym ind just focused like a beam of blog hate on making this dude feel as crappy as possible.

I'm not some psycho as you've repeatedly stated

I'm disgusted with myself for what I've done.

Direct from the horses ass!

Apr 6 @ 5:15AM  

Direct from the horses ass!

Apr 6 @ 8:29AM  
You did well Grasshopper
You learned well from the Masters

(Exerpt from Kung Fu, the tv series, circa 1972-1975)

Apr 6 @ 11:20AM  
Make love, not war.

I find I no longer have a need to engage anyone, nor be engaged in online battles anymore.

I know that I am capable or "winning" and also realize that "winneing" is highly over-rated.

Peace and love to all. Luvvy love, kinky nasty raunchy love.. what ever flies your flag!

Apr 6 @ 4:08PM  
Thank you both. If Brooks pops up again with some rude comment, and i happen to be recharged from this draining fiasco, I'll rail into him but good. I won't enjoy it though... A few weeks at most should be good enough.


Apr 9 @ 6:49PM  

Apr 9 @ 6:51PM  
You did well Grasshopper

LOL>>>>THE old pedophile played you. Now we both have a puppet.

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I'm disgusted with myself for what I've done.