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As the world awakens...

posted 4/2/2013 7:50:36 AM |
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Softie observes over coffee.,,

Not to be mistaken for my favorite time of day, yet there's a stillness that is sootheing to my soul. 5 a.m. I am awake. Even in my stillness, my furry girls are aware that Mom is stirring...maybe it's because the snoring has ceased? Who knows...cats are sensitive creatures and their feelers seem to know things in ways that we don't understand.

Normally they don't have access to Mom but Mom slept on the couch again, clothes and all. I drifted off to sleep while Dorothy, Blanche and Rose sat around their kitchen table late at night and solved their problems over cheesecake. Sometime later, the drone of infomercials wafed into my unconciousness to irritate my senses. Click...then blessed quietness. It sorta drops on me like a heavy blanket and the ringing in my ears for a few minutes sounds like sirens until my brain catches up to the silence.

Sometimes I allow myself to succumb to the delicious desire to do the couch thing. It is sorta like breaking the monotony of sameness. Sometimes I wander off to bed around 4 a.m. and other times I stay the course. But unlike my little bed, the couch arouses me mostly before daylight then I drift in and out of sleep until the sun comes in the window behind the couch and my cats have worn out their patience for breakfast....and worn out mine with their persistant staring and climbing over me like I'm an obstacle on a racetrack.

In the wee hours, I awaken, aware of the pain. Although my couch is comfortable, it certainly isn't my comfy bed and I lay there and wonder why I opted to spend the night on the couch with my clothes on and 2 cats that thinks I'm a mattress. My legs hurt. My knees ache. My neck is getting a kink in it. Yet I stay...

In the distance I hear a train whistle. Suddenly I'm taken back in time to those carefree childhood days. I remember laying in bed at night listening to the trains pass through my little hometown. This was still a time when locomotives huffed out huge plumes of smoke and those steel wheels pumped to a rhythmic sound of choo-choo, choo-choo. The one-eyed light moved up and down, back and forth like a giant creature of the night. Briefly those carefree days flit through my mind sorta like they are all wrapped up in a huge ball of happiness in its entirety then thrown at me to touch that little child in me that still lingers in spite of my age.

Age. It creeps up on one and brings with it things we don't want to think about yet I feel the weight of responsibility...I must plan for it. I suspect that incident with my heart a couple of weeks ago has spurred me into action...I must plan. So I begin to update my will and my last wishes. A call to the funeral home brings a lady to my house to discuss my funeral. How upsetting it is to know when I bought my life insurance, the cost of my funeral would've provided a little left over for my it only covers the cost of my funeral.

So I make the decision to choose the two most expensive items, lock in their cost by making payments on them for 5 years. My casket is plain, no frills. I think it is pretty in its simplicity. The woodgrain is soft and warm even without the brass frills...I will be cremated in it. Its cost is less than the cost of being embalmed...the other item I chose. Will I live long enough to pay it off? I can only hope so.

Nighttime. I awake periodically to mull over life...and death. I listen to the hum of the furnace and wonder if warm weather will ever get here. I think about summer and I shift my body to ease the pain in my vicodin is wearing off. Should I take another or wait to see if the pain will be tolerable? I will wait...

I worry about finances...another payment now coming out of my S/S. My car needs a checkup and I'm sure they'll find something expensive that needs repaired. But worry is useless so I drift back to sleep.

Soon, I suspect a staring cat has sent telepathic messages to my sleep center and once again I stir to find Button's green eyes gazing with an intensity that I'm sure penetrates to my brain. I get up. Coffee has become enticing to my nerve center...I need caffeine...and a smoke.

My day has begun....

Yesterday I worked diligently most of the day on my pictures. I organized them first in Zelda. Then I went to Photobucket and did the same. I had a few pix I wanted to share with you but alas...AMD doesn't respond to my attempt to add a URL...another disappoint to add to my list of AMD disappointments...sigh...

I'm not impressed with the new setup of Photobucket. Maybe I'll go back in today and delete all my pix and close my account there as AMD was the only place I wanted and needed to share my photos. I purge Zelda of things I don't need.

The sun is up. Another chilly day. I miss my garage. I miss drinking my morning coffee in the garage. I miss sitting on my steps. I miss smoking on my back porch in my 'jammies after dark. I want summer....I have the pre-summer blues!

I need to make fresh coffee...yesterday's wasn't bad but fresh will be better. A fresh cuppa coffee and a smoke, then my day begins. What to do....what to do.....

Ya'll have a good day. Be happy 'n keep smilin'...


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   read more blogs!

Blogs by soft_touch938:
It's been forever it seems...
Revived 'n Revamping
Temporairly absent
Decisions 'n Changes...
Rush, Rush, Hurry, Hurry...
I'm all alone...
Finished 'n ready....
This...That...and The Other Thing
What a difference a day makes
A rainy Monday ramblin' blog...
As the world awakens...
To let ya'll know...
I feel like ranting....
Putting in an appearance...
When Darkness Comes...conclusion
When Darkness Comes (story) ch 8
When Darkness Falls (story) ch.7
When Darkness Comes (story) ch. 6
When Darkness Comes (story) ch. 5
When Darkness Comes (story) ch.4
When Darkness Comes (story) Ch. 3
When Darkness Comes (story) Ch. 2
When Darkness Comes (story)


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Apr 2 @ 8:28AM  
A contributing factor to my bitching about the snow until the end of March was it prevented me from being physically active and getting any real form of exercise. Actually, I wasn't prevented per se, merely prevented from doing the only thing physical that motivates me to get much exercise. Yeah, I am lazy much of the time otherwise and that is not beneficial to one's health

Apr 2 @ 8:33AM  
Ah yes, coffee and a smoke sitting by the pond in the early hours of the morning. That's one of the better benefits of warmer weather. Soon I keep telling myself, soon...

Apr 2 @ 6:03PM  
I am so eager for the warmer weather where I can get up in the morning, let the dogs out, start my coffee, take care of the cats, grab my coffee, and go sit out on my deck and watch the dogs run around the yard and listen to the birds and the traffic going by.

To me, that's life I'm listening to. It's tranquil, especially around 7 a.m.

Apr 2 @ 6:29PM  
Softie, I took the Harley for her first ride of the year over the past weekend and thought of you as I put the miles on. I rode to Charlston SC then turned south on hgy 19 and ran it all the wat to the ferry to cross the bay to Jacksonville fla. The weather wasn't hot but a warm jacket,long johns aand chaps made it fairly comfortable and the ride sure was doing the soal good,. Then I spent the next couple days lost on the backroads of GA> until I finally forund my way back to SC and a road I know well . The ride was so uplifting and just what I needed for now I am ready to take on all the adventures of this riding season. I thought of you and will throught the season and will try to enjoy it for both of us this season and will try to find a way to convey in pic and email to you!
Your biggest fan,

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