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THE ALL NEW ALL LIBERAL OSCARS

posted 2/25/2013 7:35:40 PM |
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  J1958

The Oscars…no longer known as “The Academy Awards”. Why? So that it can be referred to in the same frame of reference as the Grammies, the Tonys, etc. Why is that important? Because the folks who decide these things suffer from an abiding belief that it’s never good to be exceptional when you can be EQUAL just as easily.

You’ll think me a paranoid malcontent, I suppose, but I’ve read the universally glowing reviews for Shirley Bassey’s “Goldfinger” and I am not going to believe the whole world is right and I am wrong. The woman barely hit a righteous note in the whole performance. God love her spunk, her power and bravado for getting up there at the age of 76 and failing miserably before the entire world, but fail she did and I will not be mind-f**ked into the opinion that she did well, no matter how many hands are put together over the cringing, frozen spine I suffered listening to her.

Seth McFarland has a marvelous voice…like thousands of other people working in show biz in Hollywood. But what’s he doing hosting the “Oscars”? He sure as hell ain’t no comedian.

On balance, I would call the regrettable production of last night’ “Oscars” a transparent, disgusting utterly forgettable celebration of liberal values. The list of films nominated for best picture was all I needed to reach that opinion. It was homage to the poor, the unaccomplished, the ordinary, the neglected, the minority, the grazers and the geezers. The only honor paid to victory, to achievement, to triumph or to excellence was reserved for those who defend those liberal values.

Amour – a story about love between old people who have been shuffled out of life’s mainstream.

Lincoln – who freed the slaves

Django Unchained – a salute to black cowboy gunslingers (can you name one)

Argo – a back-handed explanation of why the failures of the Carter administration were NOT the fault of the Democratic Party, featuring Affleck and Clooney – the two most activist liberal A-listers we could find.

Life of Pi – we learn how Hinduism, Islam and Christianity can be practiced simultaneously by a single individual, in spite of the specific tenet of at least one to completely exterminate members of the others. The important thing here is that one is not better than the others. They're EQUAL and should be treated that way, in spite of being mutually exclusive.

Silver Linings Playbook – how even a noble teacher can justify running around on his wife, if he is a victim of a bi-polar disorder and how he can find validation in a relationship with another victim. Also known as “Love on the dole”.

Zero Dark Thirty – pumps up the volume on the Obama applause following the death of Bin Laden, suggesting the hunt did not begin until Mr. O took office.

Les Miserables – this is about the nobility of the incarcerated, the prostitutes, the radical students who rise up in defense of “freedom and democracy” against a government run by the filthy rich, and the piety of women who have children out of wedlock.

Beasts of the Southern Wild – how we all better get on Obama’s green agenda or we’ll be killed by the planet we’re annoying.

And let me ask you a question. If you put on a necktie, at what point in the event do you button your collar and cinch it up as it was intended to be worn? Wouldn’t that be the moment when you come up on stage to accept your Oscar, when you look into the cameras and the faces of the entire world and the audience on hand? If that is not the moment when you use the necktie as it was intended to be used, why on earth did you wear it in the first place? When you come up on the stage looking like Tarantino did, we know one thing about your approach to directing a film – every obligation of a story teller will be forsaken when the opportunity arises to jump between the camera and the action, wag your ass and scream, “Look-a me, look-a me! I’m the director!”

With this egocentric clown it’s never about the event. it’s never about the story. It’s never about the film or the actors or any other aspect of film-making. It’s ALWAYS about Quentin Tarantino.

It was hard not to hurl from one end of that show to the other. The best moments came during the commercial for Gray Poupon Mustard.

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THE ALL NEW ALL LIBERAL OSCARS
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Comments:

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StraddleMyNose

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Feb 25 @ 8:54PM  
I'm glad I didn't even bother with them last night. Seems like they find more ways to suck year after year.
giddyup2me

Feb 26 @ 12:50AM  
Let's not forget the 'proof of life' performance by our resident FLOTUS as regards the state of the art industry. Her presentation of the Best Film award sealed the deal between Hollywood and our self proclaimed King. "Paybacks" was a better name for it, compliments of Harvy Weinstein, Obama's pipeline to the Hollywood hierarchy and cash flow. I'd give Obama the award for Best Purporting Actor in a non-supporting role as POTUS. By the by, Weinstein arranged the Queen's performance two weeks prior to the Oscar's......(so much for Price Waterhouse). But, it doesn't lend credibility to the President's transparency claims. Who else could keep HUMINT better?

Ironically the film chronicles Jimmy Carter's, (Obama's avatar), handling of the hostage crisis with Iran. They should have ended the evening with the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's performance of "Will the Circle Stay Unbroken".

And there you have it.......in Black and White!
J1958

Feb 26 @ 12:24PM  
This piece is sort-a tongue-in-cheek. But there's nothing humorous about the fact that too many filmgoers don't realize the plot and the story are merely afterthought to the writer. Before we begin to develop either, we establish the "moral lesson" we're going to teach. It "informs" the story. It tells us where to take the plot and how to end the film. When the writing is good, you don't even recognize the moral lesson as the film/novel develops. But it is always there.

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THE ALL NEW ALL LIBERAL OSCARS