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satire - A World Without Women

posted 2/5/2013 2:01:57 AM |
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  J1958

If all the women got homesick and left for Venus tomorrow, the first thing we’d do is accelerate the creation of life-like robots – women in particular. Here are 10-improvements we'd make:

1 -- Your new woman looks exactly like you design her, so that even WWII veterans get to sleep with Angelina (minus the tattoos)

2 -- She will be silent and motionless while you are trying to sleep. This includes the robust flatulence your X took back to Venus with her.

3 -- She comes with a “cook and clean” plug-in.

4 – She can drive an automobile and hunt quail better than your dog.

5 – The extent of her political activism is a campaign to bring back barber shops.

6 – She has no known relatives.

7 – Her idea of saving money is to avoid spending it.

8 – Poker Wednesday is her favorite night of the week.

9 – She knows far more than you could ever hope to learn and has never mentioned it.

10 – A great night out for her is a no-holds-barred cage fight followed by a beer trip around the world at Old Chicago.

If you would like to know why this program to improve robotics is so stagnant, ask you wife.

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satire - A World Without Women


Comments:

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HairyPus

Feb 5 @ 2:51AM  
Hi, Sugar!!! Glad to see you spreading yourself around a bit. Has your sabbatical from reality come to a close?

BTW...people ask me why I would ever think of divorcing a studly personality such as yourself. Thanks for this post, which explains it nicely. lol
J1958

Feb 5 @ 2:57AM  
Ahhh, my little tart! I figured you'd see this.

Has your sabbatical from reality come to a close?

Not entirely. I'm still only leaving the forest for groceries once every couple weeks...when I can get the mule to cooperate, that is.
Wordsofwit

Feb 5 @ 9:41AM  
11 - Her favorite flavor is semen
J1958

Feb 5 @ 2:46PM  
11 - Her favorite flavor is semen

It's the first thing she looks for on the menu...lol
elbachelor

Feb 5 @ 3:08PM  
This looks like something devised on a poker night. It should never be published. You might get a few haters after this.

Good luck..........
HairyPus

Feb 5 @ 4:47PM  
11 - Her favorite flavor is semen

Word...it's about time you got something right...lol
HairyPus

Feb 5 @ 4:50PM  
You might get a few haters after this.

ha ha...this wretched degenerate has been negotiating disapproval all his life. And, btw, he deserved every syllable.
StraddleMyNose

Feb 6 @ 9:17AM  
Yeah, going to have to agree with WoW on this one.
Wordsofwit

Feb 6 @ 10:02AM  
Your new woman looks exactly like you design her

Let's see that will be pretty, tall, buxom without sag, curvy, less than 15 percent body fat, and a contortionist. I can't decide between a Japanese or redhead without freckles within those parameters. How about a couple of each and they like to pleasure each other as much they do pleasuring me
HairyPus

Feb 6 @ 1:53PM  
How about a couple of each and they like to pleasure each other as much they do pleasuring me

Men are such pigs. But then, I never minded getting up before dawn each morning to slop the hogs...lol
Wordsofwit

Feb 6 @ 2:15PM  
Men are such pigs. But then, I never minded getting up before dawn each morning to slop the hogs...lol

I've woke up around dawn in my late teens and early twenties with a pig next to me in bed. Perhaps we have met somewhere before
HairyPus

Feb 6 @ 4:57PM  

I've woke up around dawn in my late teens and early twenties with a pig next to me in bed. Perhaps we have met somewhere before

If it had been me, you're memory wouldn't be so sketchy. Oink! Oink!
TaIkpro

Feb 7 @ 2:17PM  
You are me
MakeUfeelGood2

Feb 10 @ 11:00AM  
Why can't men to return to Mars instead? All of you may be much happier there. Meanwhile, I think women need to have an incredible sense of humor and confidence to appreciate your top ten improvements... the list made me laugh. It's marvelous to see a man with some real balls for a change.

Are you a closet misogynist or do you actually have an exceptional appreciation for women, but think it's necessary to disparage women in order to camouflage it? Highly intelligent men usually bore easily... it may be one major reason for your divorce. They also like to play little games that keep them entertained, but is most often unfair or unkind to women. BTW... the beard is quite dashing... the silver fox ain't dead yet (thank goodness).
J1958

Feb 10 @ 9:13PM  
Are you a closet misogynist or do you actually have an exceptional appreciation for women, but think it's necessary to disparage women in order to camouflage it?

I'm not even smart enough to understand what that means, let alone do it.

The gags aren't funny in that they poke fun at women. They are funny because they poke fun at the misogynist's view of women.

But all that political tedium notwithstanding, I write this kind of stuff because it makes me laugh and I don't care whose offended by it, nor would I be likely to apologize because of it. "Funny" justifies itself.
xquseme

Feb 16 @ 8:44PM  
11 - Her favorite flavor is semen
The definition I heard: A three foot tall toothless nymphomaniac with
a flat head for you to set your beer on...

But that's just me....

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satire - A World Without Women