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Dick's Pixxx Number THREE

posted 1/23/2007 10:44:42 AM |
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tagged: review
  DickSlippery

This week boys and girls we are going 2 shake things up a bit! Rather than review a porno movie, as usual, I decided 2 review an entire XXX website. 4 my first foray N2 this difficult assignment I chose www.summersinn.net, which bills itself as “The Official Site Of Summer Sinn - Super Busty Porn Star”. Why did I pick this particular site? Well, quite frankly, it wuz the first one I wuz able 2 crack successfully (Come on, now! If U can’t get me 2 pay 4 real pussy, do U really think there’s much of a chance I will pay 4 cyber pussy?), and that pretty much fit the criteria as far as I wuz concerned.

So, just who is Summer Sinn? As best I can tell she is a second rate porn star who is not very attractive, has terrible tattoos, WAAAAY 2 fucking big of a tit job and a kinda shitty web site. She does have really pretty hair, however, 4 U queers out there who may care about such things. Me? I don’t really give a fuck how nice her hair is…I want 2 see some action! So I searched around the site, hoping 2 find something worth choking my chicken over.

As I searched this site I stumbled on2 a feed of a movie called, of all things Porn Stars From Mars. It featured Summer and a few others (namely: Summer Cummings, Misty Knights and Utah Sweet) as Martian women who have come 2 Earth in search of cock (apparently someone sent them a comefuckme email complete with cock shot!). They arrive on Earth 2 find the USA run by President Bushwacker (played by none other than…U guessed it…Ron Jeremy!). This wuz a terribly ridiculous movie, and I didn’t watch the entire thing. I will say two things about it, however. First…it wuz apparent while I wuz watching it that the actors enjoyed themselves while making it. Second…I cannot watch any green bitches fuck without thinking about Captain Kirk having fucked that green bitch in the original Star Trek. Unfortunately 4 the producers of this film, I am going 2 get a lot more masturbatory miles out of the slave bitch from Orion than I ever will off of this piece of shit. Not even Ron Jeremy blowing himself could save this movie!

So I figured I would see what else the sit had 2 offer me. There were quite a few galleries of the mostly unattractive Summer 4 me 2 peruse (but I wuz unable 2 DL any of the pics…bastards!) and another gallery which featured what appeared 2 be stills ripped from XXX movies. These featured many different models, including one chick named Krystal that wuz HOT…HOT…HOT! Not $29.99 a month worth of hot mind U (that's the cost of the web site. $29.99 4 the first month and then rebilled $29.99 4 the entire time U own that CC, regardless of what U try 2 do about it.), but the bitch wuz cute. Cute enough 4 me 2 toss off 2, and then get the fuck out of there!

The rest of the site wuz pretty much garbage, as well. Again, there are a couple of galleries featuring attractive models, and a whole shitload of movies U can watch, but not actually download. All in all, I would have 2 say this site falls flat on its oversized titties, so were I U, I would save my $29.99 and go rent the Martian movie 4 five bucks at the freak store.

All things considered, I am afraid I can give this one…only ONE DANCING BANANA!

I wuz going 2 include the hacked password 4 this sorry fucking piece of shit of a website, but I 4got it. My bad. So here’s another one I hope U can use 4 a minute or two. The site is http://members.deluxepass.com. Username: dpq9tmb1 Password: hocouwr1. Have fun with it while it lasts!

Keeping U posted,

DS

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While we are on the subject...(NOT!)
Interview with My Penis (Part TWO)
Interview with My Penis (Part ONE)
2. Empty Spaces
Interview With a Phone Sex Operator (Part TWO)
Interview With a Phone Sex Operator (Part ONE)
Side 2 1. Goodbye Blue Sky
Dick's Pixxx Number Four (Part TWO)
Dick’s Pixxx Number Four (Part ONE)
Blogging Without a Helmet
Dick's Pixxx Number THREE
THE CONTINUING, CONTINUING EVOLUTION of COCKUS HUMONGOUS
6. Mother
A WARNING (Please Heed it)!!!
I think we can do better...
Interview With a Hooker
5. Another Brick in the Wall Part 2
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Comments:

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ynot7769

Jan 23 @ 11:00AM  
hmmm are you STILL smokin that shit DS??? i figure THAT would account for some of the stuff you write...me? ohhhh sure..i smoked soooo much in the 70's is why i understand what you write......
wtxman

Jan 23 @ 11:04AM  
I'm a little disappointed. No getting mugged, robbed,or ripped off for the "cause" Is DS "slipping"
veeruinus

Jan 23 @ 11:06AM  
passwordhq.com...Been a long time probably 7 years since i went there, but that site had hacks for lots of the porn sites.
DickSlippery

Jan 23 @ 11:10AM  
Don't get it twisted, buddy! This is a legitimate attempt 2 scam my way N2 the Adult Expo 08...(which, btw, I may need 2 bring along a photographer or editor or something else that would get Ur ass in the door, provided U don't piss me off and I end up taking Luvrgrl!)! I only get robbed during my infamous interviews, as it were! The next of which is coming sooner than anyone wants it 2!

DS
wtxman

Jan 23 @ 11:30AM  
ahhh the feeling of smoke being blown up my ass...I'm getting that warm tingly feeling.... I know that your are taking luvrgrl anyway.
DickSlippery

Jan 23 @ 11:40AM  
U can bet Ur ass I am as long as U keep this shit up and she keeps being...well...female. That oughta be enough 2 get it done, I suppose.

DS
NightOfOld

Jan 23 @ 11:46AM  
Being a virgin like I am. I do not visit porn sites. It all I can do to keep from pounding my joint to Betty Boop. So Ithink I'll sit back and wait for the next
instalment.
evening_storm

Jan 23 @ 12:35PM  
What I want to know is...what is so spectacular about Ron Jeremy?.....he is in tons of these movies and I keep thinking...what's so special about this cat?

Rain
DickSlippery

Jan 23 @ 12:41PM  
Rain, baby...

Did U miss the part where I mentioned HE CAN BLOW HIMSELF? I realize that sounds totally gross...unless U can do it. Kinda like a donkey show, only wihout the Mexican whore.

Kisses, btw

DS
Luvrgrl

Jan 23 @ 2:26PM  
People have been telling me for a long time now...I can have whatever I want if I just go after it......and did ya folks hear that????

Dick's takin me to Hollywood with him!!!
Don't none a you other bitches think you can jump on this train!!! SORRY WXTMAN....I know you were hopin for some....but DIXXODDERBITCH is ready to do HOLLYWOOD......WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
DickSlippery

Jan 23 @ 2:44PM  
It's Vegas, actually. But we can stop by Hollywood if U want! Anything 4 U Luvrgrl!

DS

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Dick's Pixxx Number THREE