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How I Found My First Friend With Benefits Online

posted 8/29/2012 3:13:33 PM |
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tagged: nsa, dating, hookup, fwb, sex

My first friends with benefits adventure and how I made it work.
Why: because I see how much is out there about hookups. Much of it is meant to deceive. And, a lot I see is about confusion and endorsements. I want to fulfill the desires of like-minded people who are contemplating a fwb/nsa situation and don’t know how to go about it. I want to describe how I navigated the wide desert of finding an online hookup and found an oasis. And lastly, I want to describe my own experiences so that anyone that is contemplating such a relationship can understand, feel better about it, control their actions and explore, get laid and feel satisfied… especially the ladies.
My Objective: This started as a confessional, but I’m interested in seeing what feedback comes back to me. It would be great to create another situation, but it has to all come together in a manner acceptable to my situation, if that could happen at all….(first bit of advice, set a goal and stick to it, don’t compromise it for anyone) So I’m sending this energy out there to any who are interested to read. Especially any women out there who could offer their own insight or experiences to get the other side of the coin. Naturally, in our mass culture today we are led to believe that men are the ones who have this unquenchable libido, while from my experience that you will learn about that may not be entirely true.
Also I want to enlighten you on how I found my own level of comfort and safety. I can be a mean world out there, but if you are smart, you can still create some level of safety and mitigate the risk to a level that you are willing to accept. I make no pretentions to the fact that risk can never be fully eliminated. So be smart, control the situation, stay to your level of comfort and have fun… and have sex.
My Situation: The events I’m describing took place just over two years ago. I live somewhere in the Northwest suburbs of NYC. I was somewhat recently divorced and found myself in a long distance relationship immediately upon my freedom. I was satisfied with my girlfriend and the relationship, but I was not satisfied with the schedule that had been forced upon us. Due to other family commitments we were only together every other weekend. When we were together things were always great, but in the off time where we were apart, I found that my high libido got to me. I had spent years in an unhappy sexless marriage and now that I was free and had a place of my own I was excited at the prospect of making many encounters with women who were new to me. I spent countless hours surfing the web for porn and fantasizing about these hookups and masturbated frequently. Eventually, all this yearning I had turned into a plan to take action. That plan was to find the satisfaction I so desired. I could’ve played the dating scene in search of a no strings attached hookup, but believed that I couldn’t maintain the mental energy to play the part of good boyfriend and act in the player life style all at the same time. I knew I had to find a source to find a lady in a similar situation… but where to find her?
The Plan: I feel I’m a resourceful guy. Due to my professional background and education I decided to make a plan to see if the ideas in my head were at all feasible. How would I know? Surfing the porn sites it became apparent to me that most of the stuff out there were all about getting your credit card… and that might be fair, if you’re getting the services that you’re signing up for. But my advertising senses and some of the blogs/forums online ignited my sixth sense to judge that most of these ploys were all bait and switch scams. So many of the sites I saw were too slick to deliver the goods. “What seems too good to be true….” Many of the pics I had recognized as readily available porn. They get you to sign up for free, send teasers to you in the form of bots poised as interested mates to encourage you to pay for full service and then make it impossible for you to cancel while they charge your account monthly…. No need to write a dissertation about it as I’m sure many of you have already figured this out. I dabbled, never paid, but still saw that this wasn’t going to get me laid. I had all but given up on the idea and returned to my world of porn and fantasy in my apartment.
Luckily, by chance, I ran into a website which set me in the right direction. I don’t know the all the policies about this web site, but I’ll offer a clue. The address was simply howtohookuponline and I’ll leave you to guess the domain extension. Now, I’ll tell you that I’ve revisited the site lately and it has changed from when I first found it, but the themes and nuggets of wisdom are generally the same. I do sense that there is an endorsement incentive to the overall objective of its authors, but if you read and listen to the topics discussed they will send you in the right direction.
The Goal: My goal was to find a woman that was only interested in having sex with someone they met online. For whatever their reasons, they wanted to simply fuck and have fun while fucking for the sake of fucking. That means that it was meant to be enjoyable by both, with no shame and no emotional commitment by either. We could met when possible, hang a little bit to create enough intrigue and then get down to business. Afterwards, it would be “got to go!”, and if really good, maybe “let’s set this up again”…maybe not. Whatever the case, it could end at any time, no explanations asked or required.
The Strategy: Here are little tid-bits of information that “Worked” for me. May they serve you well. I chose a free site. I couldn’t make up my mind about the free to try sites, and simply didn’t want to take the chance. In fact, I used that free site we all know by that guy Craig. You know, I had very little hope of making any headway with this, but I figured that I had a lot of time on my hands, so I was in no rush… why not? Based on the wisdom of the site mentioned well above, I wanted to make a simple ad. I wasn’t going to go overboard, something simple, meaningful, more than a quip, but not too long with maybe a little sense of humor thrown in. Again and again, I’ll say it…I was paying attention to the themes of the lessons I had learned.
I’ll tell you that I don’t consider myself a writer… lol, you may have already noticed. Certainly, writing ads soliciting women for sex is not my milieu. So what was I to do… that was the question? The answer… change locations on the “list” (to avoid duplicity) and search some of the ads left by other men and see if I could find one the fit the needs to my strategy…know what? It took all of 10 minutes to find one. I hate to tell you how many ads I saw that didn’t take the advice I had learned and it encouraged me more to believe that I would have an edge. I wish I could thank the person now who wrote it. I could kick myself for not keeping a copy of it. (I’ll

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How I Found My First Friend With Benefits Online