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Sittin' on the dock of the bay....

posted 8/24/2012 11:08:42 AM |
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Ok, I lied. Actually I was sittin' on the bank of the creek. It meanders through my backyard but I like to think BIG...

I normally don't like mornings but there's just some nights when I can't sleep so I crawl out early instead of fighting the sheets for one more minute. This morning was one of those mornings.

I have a pretty nice creek at the back of my yard. It's wide and in places the banks are deep. In some places the trees are sparse and others thick and woods-like. In other places the brambles are thick and impassable with hidden raspberry bushes that when I'm feeling like a pioneer, I 'suit up' and go berry picking.

But directly down the walkway from my backdoor, on this creek bank, some past occupant of my little corner of the neighborhood must've been a real nature lover and liked to camp on the creek bank. To his credit and my benefit, he didn't like to rough it...I mean a lawnchair and an over-turned bucket for a butt can table.

Instead, he layed patio stones so the ground would be relatively flat for sitting, in whatever kind of chair one used. Flagstones maybe they're called? Anyway, they're pretty neat. I probably don't wanna know where he got the little grill like you see in some parks that's on a post and cemented into the ground.

On the edge of the flagstones at the top of the creek bank, he built a stone wall. It isn't very high which tells me he probably got tired of lugging in rocks. The creek bank itself isn't very steep here so he left a little space in the wall where he layed more flagstones like steps down to the water's edge. All around this little patio, he planted flowers, perennials. When I first moved here, it was all a tangled mess! I worked two summers to get it back under control.

I have added a small patio set, annuals in pots and a burn ring for small bonfires. I lined the walkway from my backdoor to this little patio with edging and added pea gravel layed over plastic to discourage weeds. I call this little piece of heaven under the big oaks and maples, my sanctuary. I've done some of my most excellent thinking sitting along the creek but usually it's at night...seldom in the mornings.

But once in awhile, the result of a restless night, brings me to my sanctuary. With coffee carafe in one hand and a mug in the other, I find myself joining the early birds and watching the world wake up. No sunrise from here...too shaded. That usually means long pants and long sleeves for the morning chill.

This morning was one of those mornings.

My morning thoughts today was on growing old. Maybe that's because I have more restless or sleepless nights than I use to have. I can remember my mother talking about her sleepless nights and since I've heard other women talk about it, I must assume it's a fact of growing old.

I can come up with a myriad of reasons why I can't sleep...providing it isn't a lapse in timing and I consume some sort of caffeine late in the day. Mountain Dew can keep me awake for 48 hours straight, I swear it can...

So for awhile, I mull over if lack of sleep comes from worry. Maybe...a little. Finances of many seniors can cause sleeplessness and I'm occasionally one of them. Not that I'm struggling but the reins are tight and I worry sometimes about catastrophic illnesses striking without warning to rapidly deplete what little I have in the bank. "What then?" I think. Worry, fuss and try to find an answer. I'm probably gonna have cataract surgery next month...even that can make a serious dent over and above what my insurance will cover. So finances often top my list of fighting the sheets.

Sometimes I worry about my kids and grandkids and what this economy will mean to their futures.

Sometimes I just wonder and marvel about people in general. People confuse me daily.

But this morning I just feel restless. I do enjoy the end of summer and look forward to the fall season but it always makes me restless and I think every year that restlessness just gets worse. Those fall seasons just seem to come around faster and faster the older I get.

It's been a good summer but I can't help noticing, every summer, yard work just gets tougher and tougher to do. I blame the heat for getting so tired but there are nights when I can't fool myself...I'm just getting old.

I worry about winter...getting through winter. But beneath that worry lies another worry...I'm looking forward way too much to just kicking back in my recliner and watching tv. That's oh-so-close to being a rockin' chair and a lap robe mode...

This restlessness makes for a knot in my tummy. Seems I've added anxiousness to the mix. Throughout the summer months, I'm often busier than I care to be. But then again, I'm just busier than I care to be at any given time anymore. I worry about the alternative. Is the alternative to busyness kinda like just giving up? "They" say when one gives in to that rocking chair frame of mind, they are just waiting to die. I don't wanna die anytime soon. So I'm restless (and sleepless) trying to find a happy medium I suppose.

I find the older I get, the less tolerance I have for those same people in general that create confusion. I don't understand people's behavior or their way of thinking or the general stupid-ness that seems so prevelant amongst the general population anymore. It must just be me...getting old and crochety, I suppose.

So anyway, my coffee ran out and my butt can overfloweth and I had to pee so I came in. I suppose I should start my daily chores but OMG that recliner looks so inviting. Does adding a morning nap to my afternoon one another sign of old age??? Oh well....


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Aug 24 @ 11:24AM  
That little sitting area on the creek bed sounds delightful. I used to live up north in a little town called Tawas here in Michigan, and I loved the mornings because I could watch the morning sunlight shining on the lake as the sun was rising. And our backyard went right into the woods, so we heard the birds singing and sometimes we would see a deer or two in the backyard. I miss that place, it was so peaceful.

Getting old? wtf is that? Some say it's a state of mind, some say it's just a number. I say, it's what one makes of it. True, our bodies eventually will tell us it's time to slow down, but, till then, I keep right on going. Sure, I have some aches and pains at the end of the day...a nice hot shower or soak in the tub cures that. Peace and quiet? Sure, when the dogs are all napping.


Aug 24 @ 12:20PM  
Good read

Aug 24 @ 4:49PM  
Well Sugar, when I was your age, gettin' old didn't bother me either. I never thought it would to tell you the truth. It's only been in the last couple of years or so that my longevity...or lack of me pause for thought. My immortality, every day, is becoming more and more a reality. I guess you'll just have to get older to get some kind of inkling of what I'm talking about. And yes...I love my little sanctuary. It affords me a daily mini vacation and that's another reason I hate to see winter come.

Thanks WoW...glad you enjoyed it...

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Sittin' on the dock of the bay....