1. When I was born, I was given a choice: A big dick or a good
memory. I don't remember what I chose.....
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom
factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four-letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri-weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity; its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex, once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only real war where you get to sleep with the
enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, except down under.
14. A couple, just married, were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest
tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
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