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posted 1/29/2012 11:18:16 PM |
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Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side in the ocean.

Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the distance. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed his father.

Filled with anger, he says to his female companion, "That's the ship that killed my father! Let's swim closer!"
When they were close enough, the male said, "Why don't we swim under the ship and blow air through our blow holes and break the ship into a million pieces? That will be sweet revenge. And the female agreed to this.

So they each took a deep breath of air, swam under the ship and blew enormous amounts of air under the ship. The ship flew into the air and crashed back to the sea and broke into a million pieces.

The pair of whales started to swim off when they realized that the sailors were not dead, but clinging to pieces of wood and floating in the ocean.

The male whale was furious and said to the female whale, "They're still alive, but I've got another idea. Let's swim around and gulp up all the sailors!"

That's when the female stopped swimming, looked at the male and said, "Oh no... I agreed to the blow job but I'm NOT swallowing the seamen!"

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Jan 30 @ 12:20AM  
I first heard this one from Bruce a few years ago in a blog on here. It's his favorite joke I believe.

Jan 30 @ 12:30AM  
well fuck me runnin thru a field of daisies in my underwear.....I never heard it. *credit to Bruce

Jan 30 @ 6:49AM  
Yes, it is my all time favorite joke and I have posted it many times. I heard it in the eighties from a roadie. I had never seen it on the Net when I first posted it several years ago, so I had to write it out. The joke is essentially the same but yours is not the version that I wrote out.

Jan 30 @ 6:52AM  
Whales - My FAVORITE Joke
posted 4/9/2008 4:42:52 PM | 5 kudos what's this?
report abuse kudos left: 5
tagged: joke Wordsofwit

I post this once a year for the new folks. I heard it originally from a roadie in the eighties and never saw it on the Web unless I posted it. I still laugh my ass off over it.

Two adolescent whales, a male and a female, were swimming in the Sea of Japan enjoying a nice day and checking out the ships that were passing by. As they approached this one ship, the male shuddered and stopped.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I think I recognize that ship.” Moving closer in confirmed his apprehension. “Yes, I do recognize it. It is a whaling ship. The one that killed my father!”
“Let’s get out of here!!” She shrieked.
“NO! We need to make sure that ship doesn’t kill any more whales!” He stated with emphatic determination.
“How do you propose to do that?” She asked.
“I think if we come up on it in a hurry, inhale as much air as we can, we can dive under it and exhale on one side of it enough to capsize it.” He calculated.
Her courage rising, she agrees and they swim as fast as they can, inhaling as much air as they can muster before they dive. They come under the ship and exhale with all of their might and the ship rolls over and begins to sink as the sailors abandon ship to proceed swimming towards the shore.
“We did it!!” She gleefully exclaims. “Come on, let’s go.”
“We can’t stop now!!!” he yells. “They will just get another ship and kill more whales. Let’s run the surface and gobble them all up.”


Jan 30 @ 9:27AM  

Jan 30 @ 9:33AM  

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