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Phacking Single Again!

posted 12/23/2011 7:51:36 PM |
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  TexasRacer

SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.

I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes. I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60.

You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me.

My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any freaking friends.

Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.

Serious replies only, please.

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Comments:

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summernite

Dec 23 @ 8:14PM  
I'm not applying ... just reading

good write
theSkwirl

Dec 23 @ 8:24PM  
Aww TR, yanno, that's prolly the most honest ad ever! Sorry you're single again. I don't quite fit into your wishes, but.. hugs anyway.. and a wanna fuck?
Ewe_Wish

Dec 23 @ 8:44PM  
Not sure you will get any serious response to this ad.............but I am sure there are quite a few that would be perfect for it. LOL
40DWM

Dec 23 @ 9:19PM  
Deja vu, all over again. Been there, done that.
Wordsofwit

Dec 23 @ 9:30PM  
Hopefully, there remains some demand for an honest man
sugarnspice005

Dec 23 @ 9:35PM  
Awww damn TR...now you gotta start over!

I'm sure there is someone out there who will appreciate your honesty.


btw...welcome back.

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Phacking Single Again!