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Just getting my Whig on straight!

posted 12/6/2011 4:08:43 AM |
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  DickSlippery

So you guys know how Ive been tripping out on facebook lately, right? Well. I got to looking at my profile and I noticed that I have 138 fucking friends? How the fuck is that even possible? I dont know that many fucking people, and most of the ones I do know aren't on my facebook anyway! There had to be an explaination, and goddamnit I was out to find it!

So I took a closer look at my friends list. It turns out I was right...I do not know 138 people (adjusted to 128 to compensate for bullshit profiles, btw...). In fact, I only actually know barely more than half of them. 56% to be more precise, which works out to 72 individuals who I can say I actually know.

But then I decided to go ahead and have a litle fun with the numbers. I went back through the list and counted everyone who I have seen naked. Are you ready for this? 15 of them!!! That means that 21% of the people in my friends list have dropped thier drawers for me at least once! I have had some kind of sexual contact with 7% of them, and I have had sex with 4% (by sex I mean that one or both of us reached orgasm as a direct result of what was going on...). What a fucking trip this is to me!

There are a bunch of girls on my friends list that Id like to get into bed someday, but only one that I would have to say I am planning to have sex with (Im not going to name any names. She knows who she is...why do you think the bitch stays four states away? LOL). Other than that one chick (ok - maybe two of them...three tops!) thinking about sex with them is no more than a distraction during solo action, if you get what I mean. And if you dont Im sure not going to be the one who explains it to you!

I see now that Im guilty of wasting everyone's time again. Fuck I hate when this happens. So Im going to tell you a joke. I hope that you enjoy it. Stop me if you've heard this one. LOL

These two cowboys are riding along on their horses when they come across an indian lying across the road with his ear to the ground. As they approach the brave begins to speak,

"Covered wagon...three - no, four...four horses...two men riding atop the wagon, one holding a shotgun...inside the wagon are two women and six children. One of the kids has bright red hair and freckles."

The cowboys were dully impressed by the indian's display of tracking skill and meant to tell him just that. "I'll be goddamned," the skinnier of the two cow pokes began. "you mean to tell me that you can tell all of that just by putting your ear to the ground?"

"No," the indian replied, "they just ran me over."


Keeping you posted,

DS

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Comments:

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sugarnspice005

Dec 6 @ 9:47AM  
Wow...you mean facebook is an AMD extension??? I did not know that! Now I gotta go through my profile there and change it around!


btw......did that Indian get the plate number of that wagon? Ya know he's gonna need a good lawyer to sue for that wagon..
Ewe_Wish

Dec 6 @ 10:56AM  
Well you made me curious................I have 223 Friends on my list and I went in and counted and of those..........138 were people that were friends or family. The rest were added to games that I have long since quit playing lol .I have this bad habit of accepting people to my friends list that request it even if I don't know them lol. Facebook likes to send you friend suggestions and I get one for my ex husband all the time. Its because he is on my kids facebook so they figure i want to be his friend.............wasn't his friend when i was married to the bastard.............chances are 26 years later I still dont want to be his friend..........

I like facebook for the fact that you can meet up with friends that you lost touch with years ago..........i get to see baby pictures of my two great neices that were born this past fall........of course i get about 10 a day and i think that might be a bit too much............ I have had to hide all the youtube posts since my daughter thinks if 1 is good 50 a day is better...........and I get to keep in touch with my friends..............BUT what I don't like about it is all the bs..........and the drama.............and the new layout.............but i have never counted how many people i have as you so eloquently put it "dropped my drawers for". Not sure I would like the percentage............either way...........
summernite

Dec 6 @ 6:10PM  
You are one busy guy.. I can't even see a good reason for you to even put your pants on every day ... keep em off ... be ready ..
Ewe_Wish

Dec 6 @ 9:13PM  
@ summernite.
TastyCupcake

Dec 11 @ 3:47AM  
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Just getting my Whig on straight!