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Sing Along with Dick!

posted 12/3/2011 12:09:41 AM |
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tagged: whig
  DickSlippery

Wanna tell you about the girl I love
My she looks so fine
She's the only one that I been dreamin' of
Maybe someday she will be all mine
I wanna tell her that I love her so
I thrill with her every touch
I need to tell her she's the only one I really love


My new favorite thing is huffing brake fluid. Its fucking great. I can actually feel my brain cells dying. What a fucking rush. I know what some of you are thinking. What a fucking druggie! Sure...sit there and judge me. If thats what it takes for you to make it through the day. Judge me all the way through your four martini lunch.While you're at it, why dont you go ahead and judge me whole time your banging the club golf pro? Yeah go ahead and do that. That way we'll both feel better. You could maybe I dont know...give me a little credit? I mean its way better than when I was huffing spray paint. That shit'll kill ya.

I got a woman, wanna ball all day
I got a woman, she won't be true, no
I got a woman, stay drunk all the time
I said I got a little woman and she won't be true


My cat is a fucking homosexual. All he wants to do it stick his face it my armpit and make bread. Its fucking weird. Im telling you this much...if string theory is more than just a bunch of fucking scientists jerking eachother off and there are millions of dimensions and alternate realities, in one of them my cat wears a beret, refers to everything as "fierce" and he is seeing a Dominican boy named Ernesto. But at least he's happy, and honestly...who am I to begrudge him that?

Sunday morning when we go down to church
See the menfolk standin' in line
I said they come to pray to the Lord
With my little girl, looks so fine
In the evening when the sun is sinkin' low
Everybody's with the one they love
I walk the town, Keep a-searchin' all around
Lookin' for my street corner girl


So there I was hauling ass down 99 pushing 130 just blowing through Elk Grove headed south hoping like hell I can make it out of Lodi before the mushrooms kick in when I had a god's honest moment of clarity. In one crystal clear fraction of a second I could totally see how my actions were not only self destructive, but I understood with absolute certainty how my excesses were not only killing me, but driving those who love me the most away from me. I realized shit had to change or I was going to die. Then the hooker in the passenger seat took off her top and it all kinda just slipped away.

I got a woman, wanna ball all day
I got a woman, she won't be true, no no
I got a woman, stay drunk all the time
I said I got a little woman and she won't be true


When I started this blog I was listening to Led Zeppelin. Now Im listening to Kelly Clarkson. I feel like such a fucking pussy right now.

In the bars, with the men who play guitars
Singin', drinkin' and rememberin' the times
My little lover does a midnight shift
She followed around all the time
I guess there's just one thing a-left for me to do
Gonna pack my bags and move on my way
Cause I got a worried mind
Sharin' what I thought was mine
Gonna leave her where the guitars play


This is whats known as the art of nothing. I managed to get you all to waste four minutes of your lives reading a blog about absolutlely fucking nothing. It may not seem like much now, but talk to me when you're down to five or six minutes left. See how much you want those four minutes then. Wow - you know...I actually feel kinda bad about this. I feel like I owe you guys something for your time. So I'll give you this. The new Kelly Clarkson album is really good. Husbands should look no further for the perfect stocking stuffer. There...now it wasnt a complete waste of time. I feel better...dont you?

I got a woman, she won't be true, no no
I got a woman, wanna ball all day
I got a woman, stay drunk all the time
I got a little woman and she won't be true
(Hey hey what can I do)
I said she won't be true
(Hey Hey, What can I say?)
Hey hey, what can I do
I got a woman, she won't be true
Lord, hear what I say
I got a woman, wanna ball all day


Keeping U posted

DS

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Blogs by DickSlippery:
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By Special Request...
Did this really happen?
Just getting my Whig on straight!
Another Pheasant Alley Monday
Sing Along with Dick!
THE FREAKIEST SHIT A MAN CAN HANDLE
392 days and counting...
Born to be Wild
1% of what?
He's almost here, and Im scared shitless!!!
Slip on this!
telling on myself 101
If it walks like a duck...
Is this better, goddamnit???
Are U Fucking Serious???
It really cant be just me...can it?
EX-WIVES, PICK-UP TRUCKS AND WATERMELON WHINE
just some shit 2 think about...
Where have I been???? Where have U been is more like it!!!
WHO???
Something somebody said sometime...
Anyone looking for cruise tickets...CHEAP?
Do U Wanna Fuck Me? Oh...YEAH!
All That Showers Isn't Golden...


Comments:

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summernite

Dec 3 @ 12:24AM  
it wasn't totally useless .. you put a smile on my face and it was very entertaining

what more can you ask for
Ewe_Wish

Dec 3 @ 1:11AM  
I don't drink........martinis or anything else.............I am not fucking the golf pro.........but I probably wouldn't mind doing it...........your cat is homosexual.....mine had to be neutered 2 times cause he had an extra ball......I use to drive really fast......but now I am in driving Miss Daisy in my Camaro.......what a fucking waste of a sports car............and if you kill your brain cells who else is going to write gibberish for me to waste 5 or 6 minutes reading?

xquseme

Dec 3 @ 7:07AM  
All he wants to do it stick his face it my armpit and make bread.
in one of them my cat wears a beret, refers to everything as "fierce" and he is seeing a Dominican boy named Ernesto
Sounds like a righteous dude (um, all except for Ernesto). He wouldn't be holding an
extra stash of catnip, BTW...??

Then the hooker in the passenger seat took off her top and it all kinda just slipped away.
Bewbies fluttering in the breeze are always a distraction. Mushrooms never help. Try
'em on pizza, sometime! (Er, the mushrooms, that is, not the bewbies... )
This is whats known as the art of nothing. I managed to get you all to waste four minutes of your lives
reading a blog about absolutlely fucking nothing. It may not seem like much now, but talk to me when
you're down to five or six minutes left.
The joke's on you, DS; it took you longer to write it than it took me to read it!
sugarnspice005

Dec 3 @ 5:24PM  
Well then, thank you for keeping us posted.

And I don't call reading this a waste of time.

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Sing Along with Dick!