AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

"Beer Troubleshooting"

posted 11/28/2011 1:36:54 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
  max49

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points
toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about
house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent
lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong
part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty
glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another
bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect
and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal
limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually
clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case
it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize
the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by max49:
Going to Daytona
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS
"The Dead Frog"
"Beer Troubleshooting"
"Vacation Purchases"
"Italian Accent"
"Come Here"
"Ecstasy"
"Fond Memories"
"Tiger Taming"
I'm Baaaccckkk!!!
It's Time To Go
"School"
THE SIGN
"Fair is Fare"
"Redhead - A Chemical Analysis"
"Pig Farmer"
"The 11th Commandment"
"Nurse Jenny"
"Take a Picture"
"Pest Control"
"Swine Flu Symptoms"
WEEKEND!!!
Birthday Present


Comments:

post a comment!

RevDocLove

Nov 28 @ 1:56PM  
Been there, done all of that
Ewe_Wish

Nov 28 @ 2:06PM  
Yup this all sounds familiar.............reminds me why I no longer drink LOL
max49

Nov 28 @ 2:58PM  
I hear ya doc. Hey Ewe!!! How ya been?
Ewe_Wish

Nov 28 @ 9:00PM  

Hey Ewe!!! How ya been?

Oh you know.........not in bad shape for the shape i'm in...........and how are you doing Father Max?
sugarnspice005

Nov 28 @ 9:50PM  
Yeah...I remember a few of those myself.
pinklipstick2

Nov 28 @ 10:04PM  
Never did like beer but it does remind me when my uncle guilty me into helping tend bar .

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
"Beer Troubleshooting"