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telling on myself 101

posted 11/11/2011 1:58:24 AM |
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  DickSlippery

Facebook is a fucking trip. For thousands of years man lived on this planet. He hunted. He gathered. He (hopefully) raised a family and (maybe) somehow contributed to the betterment of society. Some became politicians. Some became musicians or philosophers. Some became madmen and some became lovers. And at no time during all of those centuries of human civilization did he ever have a means of reaching that chick from high school that he'd always wanted to fuck but never got the chance to (or didnt have the balls to). Until Facebook came along, that is.

I dont think that this is what Mark Zukenwhatsits had in mind when he thought up (or ripped off, depending upon who you listen to) Facebook. The truth is I have no idea. I didnt see the movie. But I cant imagine that this is what he had in mind when he came up with the idea of Facebook. Why would he want to? Wouldn't it just be easier to find someone to kick you in the balls and be done with it? Which means this is all just an unfortunate side effect of a mediocre idea. Great job thinking shit through, fellas.

Because the truth of the matter is that every man in America has a Little Susie Creamjeans in his past somewhere and for most of us thats exactly where she should stay. There is a reason that time travel is impossible and it has nothing to do with shooting your grandfather (regardless of what Einstein is trying to tell you). Its because some shit should just be left alone (regardless of what your dick is trying to tell you). The past is in the past because you're past it, dummy. Thats what my Mom would say. Fuck what Einstein's talking about.

It is our failures as well as our conquests that defines the people that we become. Perhaps the reason that a man had the nerve to ask his wife out all those years ago was because he had let Susie slip away and he wasnt about to let that happen again. Who knows? And by that same token perhaps it was Helga von Huffinpuffin breaking little Adolph's heart by running off with Jakob Horowitz that sealed the fate of Europe's Jews. So, yeah...maybe Germany could have used Facebook early in the 20th Century. I'll give you that much.

But that doesn't mean that you turning on your computer and finding out Susie never knew how much you liked her or that hearing that little voice in the back of your head when you're chatting online with her saying "maybe you still have a shot" is any good for the rest of us. Like I said...some things are better left in the past where they belong. On the other hand, maybe I still have a shot!

Yeah...Facebook is a fucking trip.

Keeping U posted,

DS

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Comments:

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Lisa46

Nov 11 @ 7:31AM  
So should I admit I am addicted to Facebook? I enjoy the games and usually the posts people make. Lately its getting just a bunch of "cute" pictures with sayings. Starting to get old. I prefer interesting comments
xquseme

Nov 11 @ 8:05AM  
Like I said...some things are better left in the past where they belong.
Good luck telling that to my ex!! But then, she always had to learn things the hard way...

Your rhetorical soliloquies are always a breath of fresh air. More, please!
onehornytoad69

Nov 11 @ 11:02AM  
Lately its getting just a bunch of "cute" pictures with sayings. Starting to get old. I prefer interesting comments
Amen!!! I was hooked on the Games there......but they too got old!!!
I don't know of any Women I went to school with... that are Fuckable...so I don't even bother!!!!
Strega

Nov 11 @ 12:01PM  
My friends on facebook are pretty much people on my friend's list here. As for anyone I went to school with up until I left for college... I would not have fucked them with someone else's pussy so I don't think there is any danger of me giving a second thought as to what they are up to now. `
sugarnspice005

Nov 11 @ 6:04PM  
I've got friends on facebook that are on my friends list here, I've also reconnected with some friends from high school, and of course family.

I like FB, it's fun.
soft_touch938

Nov 12 @ 2:49PM  
I don't like facebook. In my opinion (or should I say my old brain) it is complicated and all those games are....well, not for me and that's putting it nicely.

I go there on occasion to see what's up with family members and a very few friends. If you're not on my friends list ya can't get to me...just the way I like it.
TastyCupcake

Nov 19 @ 12:02AM  
It is our failures as well as our conquests that defines the people that we become
.

Sometimes that definition isn't quite what we hoped, though.

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telling on myself 101