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Story- What Will I Do

posted 9/4/2011 1:15:20 AM |
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tagged: story, comedy
  evilcorpinc

I remember the first morning I woke up without you and I felt happy and free because for some reason I don’t ever remember telling you the truth when I said that I was in love with you it could have been my way of getting you into bed and truth be told it worked several times but I had grown bored with your pissing and moaning as well as your unscrupulous and altogether arduous commiserating ways towards small animals and the dregs of society granted I was no better than that homeless man you gave money to at the bus stop but at least I had a way to keep booze in my system that consisted of a car and an impressive sense of observation for the movement of people and security cameras in the various grocery stores around the area but that’s neither here nor there and in the case of this morning I made myself a breakfast of eggs and peanut butter toast with the crunchy peanut butter because you hated it and never let me make it and with the codependency issues I have I gave into your childish ways of manipulation and basically I wanted sex and that’s how this whole relationship boiled down to I had to hide the beer cans and the wine bottles in the backyard and had to spend my time smoking weed at someone else’s house because you didn’t like me doing anything of those things and I would always tell you that it was better than doing heroin with prostitutes and bored college students in a park bathroom and you would just roll your eyes and say that I was overstating and hiding up an obvious problem but at least now that you are gone I have the ability to go whatever I want as long as I cover your half of the rent and I already have a plan for that which should be a sound investment in securing myself in a position where I can still retain my freedom to waste away and ignore the glaring problems that befall me when I blackout and punch holes in the walls but at least I have plenty of materials necessary for keeping them plugged up and you may call this no way to live but I don’t care what you have to say doll face your opinion never amounted to anything more than a dick in a blender and I can’t say that I am completely happy you are gone because let’s face it…I will miss the sex.

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Blogs by evilcorpinc:
Story- What Will I Do
Poem- Misanthropic Incontinence


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Story- What Will I Do