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posted 9/3/2011 8:41:58 AM |
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  sweetemotion

For those of us with young children, at what point do you think you should introduce them to your new lover? Maybe 2 months into the relationship or not at all. So far I,ve kept my "friend" out of the picture, but at some point he may have to show his face. What do you think?

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somnium

Sep 3 @ 9:10AM  
I could be wrong but... I'm assuming you're not going to introduce him to your kids as... 'your new lover' so, he's just another friend as far as they're concerned- least that's the way I see it!


Wordsofwit

Sep 3 @ 9:24AM  
I won't say much due to comments requiring approval. Unless divorced, I wouldn't even consider it until after they have adjusted to the divorce. It also depends on how old the kids are. The younger they are the longer I would wait.
slohand_47

Sep 3 @ 10:09AM  
It's not so much a matter of when, as how. The first meeting certainly shouldn't be a sleep over. That will freak kids out no matter how old they are. My ex tried that when my daughter was 17 and she (my daughter) hopped in her car and came to my place.

I would suggest neutral turf as well so they don't feel like he is invading their space the first time. Zoo, McDonalds for lunch.... something like that. You can say...... my kids are too young to think in those terms. Specifically, maybe.... but that is how they will feel, even if they don't understand why.

Also depends on what you think the staying power of this "friend" might be. Is he move in material........ or just a good shack job to tide you over until Mr Right comes along? It's tough enough to have dad move out and in a new place.... then they meet a new man in your life. They will learn to like him because "mom like's him". Then, if he ends up leaving too....... you get the idea.

Good luck.
Wordsofwit

Sep 4 @ 2:45AM  
Then, if he ends up leaving too....... you get the idea.

Several years ago a buddy of mine began to date a lady who was in a protracted divorce. I guess she got a little wild. But after about six weeks he was invited over to the house. She met her 10 year old son and bit later her 12 year old daughter came home and asked who he was. Before the woman could answer, the boy responded, "The latest member of the man of the month club."
Strega

Sep 4 @ 3:10AM  
As a mom and grandma I would say you do not introduce them at all until you know it is going to be something long term. Then you introduce them as a friend and you do not have sex in the house when the kids are there with this new man. If in the future things become more permanent as in living together or you get married things can always change in that department. It would be a lot harder to reverse psychological damage done to children if mom has men coming into their lives and then exiting.

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