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Completely Sane Patriot Group Found Busily Training in Midwest

posted 8/27/2011 9:40:18 AM |
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tagged: satire
  RevDocLove

A right-wing patriot group, unfazed by left or right-wing political rhetoric and 100% sane, was found by Tawdry Soup busily training for Armageddon just beyond the Wabash County line.


Wearing Sputnik era fatigues, and weighed down with so much crap they looked like a walking army surplus store, the rag-tag militia consisted of two guys walking down a dirt road in the middle of nowhere.

“Hey guys, where’s the fire?“ joked Tawdry Soup, as he pulled up beside the pair of far-out firebrands.

“It’s all over America, in every city and in every town. God will have vengeance on thee!” shouted a middle-aged skinhead type with a Fu Manchu moustache and swastika tattoo on his temple.

“Yeah-and the govment’ gonna burn too, along with that Mahslum-ass foreigner President of your'n,” said his toady, a Tim McVeigh type with bad teeth and wildly uneven ears.

“Ya’ll hear about that shooting in Arizona?” asked Tawdry Soup.

“Yeah-that guy was flat-out crazy though. He wadn’t like us. We some sane mother fuckers. You gots to be sane to understand how them Jews is trying to brainwash everone into getting their peckers cut off,“ said Fu Manchu.

“Yeah,” agreed Toady. “And all those Mexicans comin’ over here a-takin’ our jobs. If it wadn’t for the Mexicans, we be havin’ jobs right now.”

“Well, how do you support yourselves, then? asked Tawdry Soup.

“Food stamps and disability check for me,” replied Fu Manchu, “I gotta bad back.” He shifted his massive load of canvas-covered gear.

“Same here,” added Toady, “but it‘s because my ears is crookid.” He looked at Tawdry with a goofy gap-toothed grin.

“But if you didn’t have the government you hate so much, what would you do for money?” asked Tawdry Soup.

“We’d have a gov’ment all right, OUR gov’ment," answered Fu Manchu. "But it would be run by Christians who wouldn’t allow fags in the army, would stop dishing out welfare if you don’t wanna work, put God back in schools and the pledge of allegiance, stop them chemtrails, an'..uhhh..put this country back on the gold stan’erd." He clicked his heels and puffed out his chest.

“Yeah,” agreed Toady.

"Shut up, man," said Fu Manchu, glaring at Toady, "you don't even know what the gold stan'erd is, you idjut." Toady blushed and looked at the ground as Fu Manchu looked at Tawdry Soup for recognition of his superior intellect.

“By the way, what do ya’ll think about that Sarah Palin?“ asked Tawdry Soup.

“Who?” they both asked, and looked at each other like Tawdry just asked them to add 16 and 12.

Fu-Manchu suddenly got serious, looked down his nose and squinted his eyes, “You need to git outta here before I blow your face off-you seem kinda queer.”

Tawdry rolled up the window of his smart Mary Kay pink Cadillac, and roared off into the midday sun, leaving Fu Manchu and Toady covered in fine red dust.

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Comments:

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40DWM

Aug 27 @ 5:57PM  
Wow...the hate just drips off this one.

Where in California are they wanting to stop circumcisions?
("Jews is trying to brainwash everone into getting their peckers cut off")
I'd bet this whole blog started as West Coast Progressive Propaganda.
RevDocLove

Aug 27 @ 9:50PM  
I'd bet this whole blog started as West Coast Progressive Propaganda.

How much you wanna' bet??? It's just satire which is made up

A right-wing patriot group, unfazed by left or right-wing political rhetoric and 100% sane, was found by Tawdry Soup Tawdry Soup

http://www.tawdrysoup.com

I don't see hate in comedy..You know there are bubbas in the southland who are just like that in real life, don't you?
40DWM

Aug 27 @ 11:54PM  
Nope, I don't know or associate with anyone in 'real life' that is even near these descriptions.
I do know it's a false stereotype often used to demean those that have different views from the Left.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/11/19/male.circumcision.sf/

"that shooting in Arizona?" was done by a mentally unstable Jared Lee Loughner, in your post, it makes it seem that he's not too different from the two sane Patriots. Guilt by (false) association. Everyone that's paid attention, knows he believed in the communist manisfesto, and hated G. Bush. I know that fits some here, more than conservatives. But....he was neither right of left, just plain nutters.

How many people you know, speak like "of your'n," I did not think so.

You might feel it's comedy, but the Hate is obvious. "bubbas in the southland", many could think of, as bigoted hate.
Strega

Aug 28 @ 12:38AM  
I grew up 20 miles north of Raleigh NC. Trust me those stereotypes of southerners are there for a reason. I went to school with "Bubba's" kids. I think bootlegging was the second largest industry in town. The Baptist Seminary was the largest. When I worked in the public down here in Fayetteville I found there are still a lot of them out there. And if you go 1 county north of here there is Bubba and his kids and cousins and Bubba wannabes and most of them belong to the KKK. (Wish that were only a stereotype)

However this is only satire and humor which is usually an exaggeration of the traits of any group. The left gets it just as much as the right.
RevDocLove

Aug 28 @ 8:44AM  
Nope, I don't know or associate with anyone in 'real life' that is even near these descriptions.

You've obviously lived a very sheltered life my friend

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Completely Sane Patriot Group Found Busily Training in Midwest