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Ladles and Jellyspoons.

posted 7/17/2011 11:33:39 PM |
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  theSkwirl

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I am announcing my plan to run for Congress in 2012. My platform is, I inhaled and I liked it. I have been on welfare, unemployment and disability so I know where you are coming from. I've been in jail for not paying a debt.
I smoke, drink sometimes, cuss a lot.. will offend every country out there by saying NO to more foreign aid until our own country is taken care of. I'll push for taxes where taxes need pushed.
So, who's with me?
I'm for gay marriage, the right of choice for everyone, and for the freedoms guaranteed in our Constitution to be upheld at all cost.
I know you cannot see Russia from Alaska.. I'll probably try to seduce Putin... I know that Paul Revere did NOT warn the British.. I don't have a high school diploma, I've got a GED. I went broke rather than finish college.. But I did learn the hard way about a lot of things. A vote for me is .. pretty much wasted but let's do it anyway.

Yeah, I'm still around.. not kickin very high or very hard but you can't get rid of me this easily!

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Comments:

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flavorbuster

Jul 18 @ 12:20AM  
I know that Paul Revere did NOT warn the British..
Well I'm sure you would get a lot more kudos but I'll sling a vote in your favor.
StraddleMyNose

Jul 18 @ 12:42AM  
I know that Paul Revere did NOT warn the British..
I know that there are only 50 states, and not 57. I also know the difference between a ventilator and a breathalyzer unlike Obama...

Maybe I should run for congress too.
xquseme

Jul 18 @ 12:45AM  
Wow! TWO ornery wimmen back within 24 hours. Welcome back!
Strega

Jul 18 @ 1:33AM  
Never mind congress I think I will run for the senate. LOL

Actually am more than qualified for the job, could use a job with some health benefits and would love shaking things in DC up a bit and think it is about time someone tells it like it is. .

Now I bet the thoughts of me as a senator would give a few people sleepless nights.
Wordsofwit

Jul 18 @ 1:51AM  
I announced my candidacy for Prez earlier, wanna be my running mate? I support your platform. Elect me and I promise pot in every chicken! There are only two states, the obscenely wealthy and the rest of us.

I say fuck Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann, and let Joe the Plumber do it. We can watch it on YouPorn.

Let's forget liberating Afghanistan and Iraq and use the money to liberate Americans. After all those are the only people that want America to liberate them.

We owe the Chinese billions, let's start repaying our debt by sending them them the millions of illegal aliens and offer them Roseta Stone to learn the language.

We have had actors become our leaders and I embrace Humphrey Bogart when he said, “The whole world is about three drinks behind.”
Strega

Jul 18 @ 3:51AM  
I say fuck Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann, and let Joe the Plumber do it. We can watch it on YouPorn.

Man I was trying to eat my salad. Don't put that image in my head.
tassie1

Jul 18 @ 5:23AM  
do you know whats the most popular game in the white house is ?

swallow the leader


if i vote for you do we all get laid on fridays ?
RevDocLove

Jul 18 @ 9:00AM  
You might think about running for Prez Miss Skwirly Girl
somnium

Jul 18 @ 10:02AM  
Well... ya got my vote- we need someone with common sense Congress doesn't have any, neither does the W.H.! Maybe run for prez???

aftershox

Jul 18 @ 7:41PM  
If you do run, make sure you find a couple of interns to take good care of your "needs" if you know what I mean. Male or female, just make sure they are cute, and not motivated to "tell all".

If you did, the other "jellyspoons" would be totally "jelly"-ous of you...
sugarnspice005

Jul 18 @ 8:07PM  
You got my vote!
theSkwirl

Jul 18 @ 8:35PM  
I like WoW for Prez.. he's cranky enough to tell everyone where to shove that shit. I wanna be in congress so I can take six weeks vacation every two months on your dime. Prez is a lot of work.. far as I can tell.. congress don't do shit but bitch about stuff and pretend they read the bills. I can do that. Plus, occasionally I might even read one and decide if it makes sense or not.

My Friend James, who is a hollyweird special effects dude is my choice for sec of defense.. he might not blow ya up.. but he'll make ya think he has.

I'll be sure that everyone in my office gets laid on Fridays.. Ima be a tired skwirl by saturday... who volunteers to be my aids???

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Ladles and Jellyspoons.