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2010 Darwin Awards

posted 7/13/2011 12:52:59 PM |
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  hog77297

And once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. "The Darwins" are awarded every year to the persons who died in the stupidest manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool.

Here is the official 2010 list. Notice the interesting spin for this
year's first place award which comes to us...from of all places,
Arkansas. How surprising is that?

This year's nominees are:

Nominee No. 1: ( San Jose Mercury News):

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: ( Kalamazoo Gazette):

James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck". Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped around the drive shaft".


Nominee No. 3: ( Hickory Daily Record):

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.


Nominee No. 4: (UPI , Toronto ):

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports.
Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" (ed note:?) members of the 200-man association.


Nominee No. 5: (The News of the Weird):

Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.


Nominee No. 6

A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay Countryman, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parent's rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.


Nominee No. 7: (Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario):

A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony", Honer said.


Finally, THE WINNER!: (Arkansas Democrat Gazette):

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and
struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip.
On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the
river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in
the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off, or we might both be dead", stated Wallis.
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a
first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened", said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife), asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck. Priorities, after all!
Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.

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Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Jul 13 @ 1:58PM  
The Darwin Awards, have been around for years and most nominees are fabrications. These kinds of stories are only funny if they are true. If you like off beat humor that is true, Fark is the place to go
RevDocLove

Jul 13 @ 3:02PM  
VeracityThe event must be verified.
The story must be documented by reliable sources: e.g., reputable newspaper articles, confirmed television reports, or responsible eyewitnesses. If a story is found to be untrue, it is disqualified, but particularly amusing ones are placed in the urban legend section of the archives.

Despite this requirement, many of the stories are fictional, often appearing as "original submissions" and presenting no further sources than unverified (and unreliable) "eyewitnesses". Most such stories on Northcutt's Darwin Awards site are filed in the Personal Accounts section.
RevDocLove

Jul 13 @ 3:04PM  
I just gave you a kudo, because I took them to be what they were intended to show..
People's stupidity
40DWM

Jul 13 @ 4:20PM  
My all time favorite, was the guy in Arizona that strapped a JATO
(Jet Assisted Take Off) onto his Impala...or whatever it was......

People saw what appeared to be an aircraft crash site, on the side
of a mountain. When authorities got there, turned out to be the
remains of a car. Now....those JATO's could launch a huge bomber
in no time.....usually over 130,000 pounds......*poof*, in the air.

If I remember....around 130 mph, the guy chickened out....slammed on
his brakes, which caused all 4 tires to blow....then he was airborne
inside an uncontrollable rocket.....

DooooHHHH!!
Wordsofwit

Jul 13 @ 8:15PM  
VeracityThe event must be verified.
The story must be documented by reliable sources: e.g., reputable newspaper articles, confirmed television reports, or responsible eyewitnesses. If a story is found to be untrue, it is disqualified, but particularly amusing ones are placed in the urban legend section of the archives.

Despite this requirement, many of the stories are fictional, often appearing as "original submissions" and presenting no further sources than unverified (and unreliable) "eyewitnesses". Most such stories on Northcutt's Darwin Awards site are filed in the Personal Accounts section.
somnium

Jul 13 @ 9:54PM  
If you want to see some bizarre deaths, watch '1000 Ways To Die' on the Spike channel! Just some off the wall ways for someone to lose their life, usually through stupidity!


Wordsofwit

Jul 13 @ 9:59PM  
Thanks, somnium, for the tip. I am always looking for new things to watch as I wind up watching too many reruns. My bitch against Spike is that they OD viewers of their programs with excessive advertising I often avoid their offerings for just that reason
needsomenow789

online now!
Jul 14 @ 2:37PM  
Even lawyers make mistakes

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2010 Darwin Awards