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A Pair of Fresh, Clean Jokes

posted 7/9/2011 12:56:48 PM |
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  Wordsofwit

A pal of mine on the vanilla site posted these. I hadn't heard either one before and they were funny, two automatic kudos. Additionally, you can tell them to your grandmother.

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me." The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Three strings walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The first string walks up to the bartender and says, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender looks at the string and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string walks back to his buddies and explains. The second string says "No problem, I'll go get our beers." The second string walks up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender says, "Listen man, I told your buddy that we don't serve strings here." Empty handed, the second string walks back to his buddies. The third string says, "No problem. Tie me in a knot at one end and fray my ends at the other." He struts up to the bartender, "Bartender, three beers please." The bartender proceeds to get him the beer when he suspiciously turns to look at the string and says, "Excuse me, but are you a string?" The string replies, "I'm a frayed knot!"

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Comments:

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sugarnspice005

Jul 9 @ 1:46PM  
I guess after driving a hearse for 25 years, I'd be a bit startled too at a "tap on the shoulder".

Like the "frayed not".
tassie1

Jul 10 @ 7:20AM  
believe it or not, i heard both of em 25 yrs ago
and from my grandmother
1bunny629

Jul 10 @ 2:18PM  
those were cute.....

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A Pair of Fresh, Clean Jokes