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posted 6/2/2011 9:23:21 PM |
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  DickSlippery

Last week 17 year-old Scotty McCreery defeated equally impressive teenager Lauren Alaina 2 become the newest American Idol. The thing I found most astonishing about this wasn't so much their youth (their combined ages is still a year younger than me...thats just great. What am I even doing talking about this? Isnt it about time for my nap?), although that was impressive. What really surprised me was that both of the artists who reached this year's finale were clearly from the Country music genre, and neither of them ever made any attempt 2 hide that fact.

Ok...ok...I know its not like this has never happened before. Carrie Underwood won in 2005 and then went on 2 win a bunch of CMA awards and a couple of Grammys, selling a fucking shitload of records along the way. So, even though personally I think country music fucking sucks (dont take it personally, Nashville...across every spectrum of music, from rock & roll 2 reggae 2 estonian folk music...ALL OF IT...95% of it sucks. Just one of those laws of nature Newton chose 2 ignore like ur toast always falls buttered side down and hot chicks ALWAYS have at least one unattractive friend with them 2 help make them look better at the club), I just cant argue against the fact that it is as popular now as it has ever been. I will admit this much...both of this year's finalists are VERY good at what they do. Niether of them was my personal favorite, but I wouldnt go so far as 2 say they didnt deserve 2 be there. After all, America spoke, and who am I question the opinion of a nation of tween girls with cell phones?

But thats just background for those readers who arent really familiar with American Idol. I dont know...maybe U just escaped from North Korea or something. My subject today isnt the choices made by millions of hormone-crazed teens, but rather how I believe the record industry, as an entity, will most likely respond 2 these choices. Any guesses? Well, why dont we begin by taking a look at the record (yeah...ok...thats how U make a bad pun, boys and girls)?

Just about as far back as the industry itself goes, it has been consistently true that a tiny number of unique and talented individuals will do something, often never seen or heard before, that the public responds positively 2 and then that response will trigger a flood of less talented, copycat groups doing some similar, less impressive shit. Think about it: The Beatles broke in 1964, shattering sales records and hearts all along the way. The suits saw this and for the rest of the Sixties we were listening 2 The Dave Clark Five, Herman's Hermits and Donovan. In the late Sixties Motown brought us The Jackson 5, only 2 be followed by The Osmonds and The Di Francos. The age of disco was ushered in by hits from Gloria Gaynor and The Bee-Gees in the middle of the decade, only 2 be followed by such acts as the Villiage People and Meco plays The Wizard of Oz 2 bring the decade 2 a close.

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Comments:

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DickSlippery

Jun 2 @ 9:41PM  
The Eighties didn't fare much better, beginning with a foudation built on the hard-rock antics of such groups as Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Kiss, somehow by 1983 the industry had managed 2 convice everyone that the crap Dokken was playing was heavy metal music. A year later it was Autograph's turn on the radio (yep...there's another pun there, but Im just gonna go ahead and leave this one alone) and by 1988 we were all bopping our heads 2 the sweet sound of Winger! Around that same time, one of the greatest heavy metal bands of all-time, Judas Priest, was even convinced by some fucking body that they should change their sound! They went from playing music that helped lay the framework for everything from Van Halen 2 Bon Jovi 2 playing shit that was really just a poor imitation of what other bands were selling at the time. Thank god they had the good sense 2 stay with the dual lead guitars, which enabled them 2 maintain a somewhat unique sound despite the lack of complexity in the music being played. If U dont believe me check it out for urself. Just listen 2 Victim of Changes for a few minutes. U dont even have 2 listen 2 the whole song. Then take it out and pop in Turbo Lover and then u tell me wtf is really going on.

By the time the 1990s had rolled around the industry had already established this kind of thing as simply business as usual. So it was no real surprise that Nirvana's success would spawn a whole gaggle of crappy bands out of Seattle or that the popularity of New Kids on the Block would eventually mean we would be aware of the existence of B2K. Most recently someone figured out that the kids really like whatever the fuck it is that Lada Gaga is doing, so now EVERY fucking broad who sings thinks she has 2 do it wearing her tits hanging out (nipples tastefully hidden, of course), latex panties and an aluminum foil kango while accompanied by a full fucking dance troupe wearing pretty much the same ridiculous shit! What these so-called artists (and their even less talented producers) seem 2 forget is that is isnt the outfits or the antics that makes a bitch like Gaga so popular. Sure, running around with a set of rabbit ears on ur head and a skirt made out of meat is going 2 get our attention. Thats a given. Why wouldnt it, after all? Its not as if U see some shit like that every day. However, once she gets our attention, it is her overwhelming talent enables her 2 keep it.

The real difference is that once Lady Gaga (or Prince or Elton John or Iggy fucking Pop or even David Bowie during the Ziggy Stardust years. Shall I go on?) has our attention, she uses that platform 2 exhibit an extraordinary talent. Thats what keeps us coming back for more, people. Its the music...not the bullshit. Rhiannah can drape herself in all the faux patent leather vinyl and Saran Wrap that she wants and she will never reach the level of a Lady Gaga, because at the root the bitch is a mediocre singer at best. Which, by extension, means the best she can ever sing will be mediocre. Oddly enough, I think the people pulling the musical strings for all of us are also trying 2 force former American Idol runner up Adam Lambert into a similar mold for some (the difference between the two being that Adam Lambert really can sing his ass off if they would just fucking let him!) ungodly reason. Forget all the hijinks and shenanigans. Just put a rock band (I hear Queen is looking for a new front man...Sure, Paul Rodgers was great in Bad Company, but thats a far cry from replacing Freddy Mercury) behind him and put a microphone in his hand and let him do his thing and trust me when I say everything will fall into place.

The point I have been circling around is this one. Im sure that as soon as the idiots in charge of things noticed that the finalists were what most people would consider country music artists there was a run 2 sign every crappy country band out there. Give the people what they want, right? Except I dont think what the people really want is a bunch of Rascal Flatts and Taylor Swift wannabes making shitty country music for the next two years and force-feeding it 2 the masses like it was Jim Jones' signature Kool-Aid.

But, hey...what do I know? My guy didn't even make the Top 5 (actually, he didnt even make the Top 10, but he was so good that he needed 2 be voted off twice!). I think its fairly obvious that when it comes to 2 what America wants in Pop Music, I really dont seem 2 have the slightest fucking clue. Unfortunately, the same seems 2 hold true of the idiots who are making Pop Music, and Im not sure where that leaves us exactly.

Except, most likely, about 2 hear some loser whine about his bitch's cheating ways. Maybe its just me, but I think Id rather she just go ahead and show me herself. Until she does I guess I'll just keep on...

Keeping U posted

DS



sugarnspice005

Jun 3 @ 9:32AM  
The 80's brought in hair metal bands, the 90's brought in grunge..............



Oh hell.....I can't do it......just gonna have to wait for DS to finish the bong and come back to finish what he started.
DickSlippery

Jun 3 @ 2:27PM  
Yeah...I guess the comment kinda lost its validity when I deleted it 2 post the end of the blog, huh? My bad...I guess its a good thing that U want my body or I might have gotten myself N2 some trouble here!!

kisses

DS
Luvrgrl

Jun 4 @ 1:34PM  
Not bad! But isn't it Strawberry WINE????? hhhahahhaaaahhh! (I know it wasn't that funny...but I had to say it!)
onehornytoad69

Jun 16 @ 9:27AM  
This was my 1st Year to watch Am. Idol......!!
I really enjoyed it!!!
My fav. part was the beginning where the freaks would attempt to Sing!!!!
My neighbor would come over and watch it with me.....
She likes Rock.....I Like Old Rock & Pop..and New Country.....(Which I compare to Old POP)
She Loved Scotty!!!! WTF?
I told her...the "Mad Magazine" Look alike fugger... wasn't worth a damn!!!! Oh well.... WTH do I know!!!!
Personally...I Think...they should have kept the age Limit to 18 YO
These chaps are good...but damn.....I hope the fame don't ruin them!!!

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EX-WIVES, PICK-UP TRUCKS AND WATERMELON WHINE