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Old Age Quips

posted 4/9/2011 8:29:37 AM |
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  RevDocLove

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

Someone has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What could hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his Doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
AMEN to that.

You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

You're getting old when your wife gives up fooling around for Lent, and you don't know till the 4th of July.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

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Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Apr 9 @ 8:56AM  
Oldies but goodies Having seen middle age becoming more distant in my rearview mirror of life, I don't think any of these have any thing to do with middle age, more like pre-geriatric.
shyguy140

Apr 9 @ 8:57AM  
Good ones
hog77297

Apr 9 @ 10:18AM  
Funny Stuff Doc, I've seen alot of those come and go allready.
pinklipstick2

Apr 9 @ 11:46AM  
heck misplaced my car at the mall yesterday. Thought it was just a blonde moment
somnium

Apr 9 @ 12:22PM  
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

YEAH? Well... where the HELL are they???

tassie1

Apr 9 @ 4:32PM  
heck misplaced my car at the mall yesterday.

some school kid has just invented a computer programme to avoid doing just that !
RevDocLove

Apr 9 @ 4:57PM  
where the HELL are they???
Living on the East Coast of Florida
sugarnspice005

Apr 9 @ 5:38PM  
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
AMEN to that.

I second that "AMEN to that"!
somnium

Apr 9 @ 5:55PM  
Living on the East Coast of Florida


Oh, yes... of course.......... the blue hairs- you can see them at night under the 'Moons Over My Hammy'!!


Wordsofwit

Apr 9 @ 6:46PM  
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

There are ten women for every man in the assisted living center where my 90 YO father resides. He said with a laugh, "Just when the odds a guy always dreams of come to be, you are too old to care and wouldn't want to anyway even if you weren't."
RJ53

Apr 10 @ 12:30AM  
YEAH? Well... where the HELL are they???


Probably in a retirement facility wondering where in he HELL all the men are.

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Old Age Quips