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Sexcapade Files #21: Jamaican Rut

posted 4/7/2011 6:45:13 PM |
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So rumor has it that I’m seeing someone. I know that it’s not technically a “rumor” when I was the source and I was the one who “outed” myself, LOL. So let me tell you a little bit about it.

Nick is someone I had met on an internet dating site, and he’s really a nice guy. He’s definitely marriage material, we both like similar things, and he’s a gentleman – a bit of a romantic, bringing me flowers, driving more than 30 miles to see me about once a week (or once every two weeks, when he has money), he seems intelligent, non-ghetto, and is the type who wants to make something for himself. We do the usual things, go out to eat, have sex (of course)…however…

He’s not my boyfriend. He’s this guy that I’ve been seeing for about 2 months, I kinda like him, but the feeling is starting to become lackluster. I find it hard talking to him every night because I feel like I “have” to talk to him, rather than “wanting” to talk to him. He’s a religious guy, and it makes me feel uneasy talking to someone who’d rather go to prayer meeting 3-4 times a week than have a rendezvous with his girl every weekend. Not that’s anything wrong with having faith, but to me it seems a little too religious-enthusiastic, and it makes me feel less worthy to someone who’s very religious. And now, I find our conversations on the phone seem less interesting than they were before, kind of mundane and full of silences, and the usual excited/nervousness of seeing him has faded quite a bit…I feel as if I’m not into him as much as I used to, and I find myself making excuses to not talk to him every night, shortening our conversations.

As for the sex, it’s a hit-or-miss. He had told me that he likes to experiment, and he definitely likes to have sex. I would have to admit, that he is the second person to rock my g-spot, and that’s amazing to me, after having a few here and there who didn’t rock my g-spot at all. The feeling of being on a rollercoaster as I’m being shot to heaven while having sex has finally happened, and I relish every moment having sex with him. However, from the times we’ve had sex, we have only done it in two positions – missionary and me straddling on top, and somehow that leaves me pretty unsatisfied with the variety. It seems whenever we have sex, that’s what I’ll expect, or maybe I need to be more aggressive with him and show him new things.

It’s a bit difficult introducing new things with him. For instance, the first time I sucked his balls, the only thing he said was, in a matter-of-fact voice, “that’s different.” Not “ooh baby, that’s amazing,” or “damn girl, you’re the first girl to suck my balls,” it just seemed so uninviting, as if he didn’t want me to continue. I felt pretty rejected after that, and after a few other things I had done to him to (tongue-bath, hand/finger licking/sucking, sensual touch, etc.) The last time we had sex was on my period (which, disappointingly, was while I was on my vacation, and he came after 5 minutes because he hadn’t had sex in a few weeks and didn’t want to do it again because the experience of my period on his cock was just a tad too much for him), and I was about to seduce him in the shower, but he said that “it felt uncomfortable for him for me standing there and watching him shower”, so I left and got dressed instead, feeling very rejected and unsexy.

Although, there are times where I would say were completely amazing – one night we completely did foreplay – kissing, touching each other’s bodies, holding each other, wrapping our legs around each other, without taking off our clothes until near the end – was such a sexually spiritual experience that it felt completely exhilarating that I didn’t want it to stop. Or the time we were having sex and he had surprised me by sliding an ice cube on my clit with his tongue while he ate me out was DEFINITELY something I had wished a guy to do on me, and it finally happened, which made me very, very happy. Or the times when we did have sex on a constant basis and he was able to stay up, and he was rocking my g-spot so much that I felt like a firecracker that exploded, a rocket vibrating away into space. Ah, those were good times.

At this point in time, I feel as if I’m in limbo, I’m not sure whether to let this guy go completely, or give it a few weeks and see how things go. It’s rare for me to feel somewhat stale in a “relationship” already when I don’t see the other person often, but for some reason I do. Maybe I should give it time and see where it goes and make a decision from there (which probably make all you men readers out there who have been “chasing me” feel a bit relieved, and to whom I would like to deeply apologize to, since I had thought you all were just trying to get into my pants)…we’ll se how it goes…

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Sexcapade Files #21: Jamaican Rut