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What Would You Do?

posted 4/7/2011 1:48:33 PM |
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  casuallylooking


Imagine this scenerio.......

You have a fantastic friend, of the opposite sex, that you love spending time with. They make you laugh and you can talk with them about almost anything.
But you only care about them as a friend, not dating or a relationship. That's just not there.

Now, this person discovers that their visa to be in this country is about to expire and there is no way they can get another one,and no time to become a US citizen. So they must return to their birth country, and they can not stand the thought of that.

I realize that it's actually illegal, but...
Would you marry this person to keep them in this country?
If not, why not?
And if so, would you try to make it an actual marriage, or just on paper and go on with your normal life?

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Comments:

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hog77297

Apr 7 @ 2:11PM  
Tough question! It would be hard to marry anyone for any reason for me. Been there done that and just excaped with the tee shirt. Bitch then sold my Harley.
ms52dd

Apr 7 @ 2:22PM  
Id try to help out all I can,but not to get married to...sorry but unless that person has feelings for me and vice versa..then yes..but if just a good friend..no..
redbronze

Apr 7 @ 2:35PM  
with a detailed pre-nup then perhaps. But like hog said she sold my Harley... I don't want nobody selling my stuff...
theSkwirl

Apr 7 @ 3:58PM  
Ok so I enjoy spending time with this person? I spend a lot of time with this person? Then as long as he is good with my proclivities and lets me keep G.. sure I'd marry him. For as long as it takes anyway.
somnium

Apr 7 @ 4:36PM  
When someone is in our country under a visa, doesn't want to go back to where he/she lived- under what circumstances would that person cause themselves to be put in the position of having to ask someone to marry them to live here legally? In other words, if I really wanted to stay here legally, I'd make sure I made time to do what was necessary to make that happen before my visa expired and I don't mean marriage!

Personally, I think it's unfair to put a friend in that position, if you're really that person's friend! JMO


TwistAndShout

Apr 7 @ 6:46PM  
Probably not, except for one possible scenario. If I knew that the person faced a likelihood of mistreatment or death if forced to return to their country, it would be hard to say no.

I think that actually happens more often than we realize. US law allows a person to apply for permanent residency based on a likelihood of political persecution at home, but it's often denied. And there are a lot of countries where you're dead meat if the government has you pegged as a political dissenter.
sugarnspice005

Apr 7 @ 6:52PM  
That's a hard question really. It's so easy to sit here and say what you would do....but, how does one really know until actually facing that situation?

Myself, I'd have to agree with what Twist brought up, if I knew for a fact my friend faced certain death being returned to his home land, I think I would marry him so he could stay here. As to making it a "real marriage".....again, hard to say. For all anyone knows..maybe love would grow.

RJ53

Apr 7 @ 8:13PM  
In the position I am in now. Sure, why not? It would be nice to have someone around to talk with that would give me an answer when I ask them a question. If all we remained was just firends after we were married that would be ok too it would still be a winning situation. I would have some company around the house and they would get to stay in the country.
somnium

Apr 7 @ 8:24PM  
if I knew for a fact my friend faced certain death being returned to his home land

Well... that wasn't a factor in this particular situation but if it were, then my comment above stands even more so! Knowing that, seems to me, someone with a visa about to expire, should make all the time it takes to make sure the visa problem is remedied, so it doesn't become a legal issue and end up getting deported to his/her's demise- that's just common sense! If he/she is smart enough to travel here under a visa, then he/she should be smart enough to avert deportation problems, without using the marriage angle!


StraddleMyNose

Apr 7 @ 10:02PM  
I couldn't and wouldn't do it.
RevDocLove

Apr 7 @ 10:18PM  
That's a tough one to answer..
1bunny629

Apr 8 @ 1:14AM  
I have known several people that have done it and one that is in that situation now. She ,married him so she could stay here and he is gay. Another russian girl I know is trying to find a husband now so she can stay. i don't think I would do it.
casuallylooking

Apr 8 @ 2:32AM  
BTW, this was just a blog question... I have no such friend.
But if I did, my first instinct is to say I couldn't do it...But then again I don't honestly know unless faced with the decision in real life. and what is going on in my real life...
PeachyKeen

Apr 8 @ 8:47AM  
There can be extenuating circumstances in this situation, but you can't always decide until knowing the facts and person involved.

I agree that it's the person's responsibility to avoid these kinds of complications, but it isn't always possible. If you haven't been confronted with our immigration service, you don't have any idea how overwhelmed they are trying to deal with so many people wanting to live here legally and illegally. It is an agonizingly slow system and very punitive as well. Sometimes people get caught up in the bureaucracy and marriage looks like the only alternative.

I don't think I would do it. It's a responsibility I could not afford, but I would try to help them find another solution if possible.

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What Would You Do?