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Name That List, #6

posted 3/31/2011 10:09:39 PM |
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What is this a list of? (The answer is in extended, and on the comments page.)

•A live, shaved, declawed gerbil
•a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup
•an ax handle
•a 9-inch zucchini
•a 14-inch vibrator with two D-cell batteries
•a plastic spatula
•a 9-1/2 inch water bottle
•a Coke bottle
•a 3-1/2 inch Japanese float ball
•an 11-inch carrot
•an antenna rod
•a 150-watt light bulb
•a screwdriver
•four rubber balls
•72 jewelers’ saws
•a paperweight
•an apple
•an onion
•a plastic toothbrush package
•a frozen pig’s tail
•a 10-inch length of broomstick
•an 18-inch umbrella handle
•a banana encased in a condom
•two Vaseline jars
•a whisky bottle with a cord attached
•a teacup
•an oil can
•a 6-inch by 5-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces
•a 6-inch stone weighing two pounds
•a baby powder can
•a test tube
•a ballpoint pen
•a peanut butter jar
•a flashlight
•a turnip
•a pair of eyeglasses
•a hard-boiled egg
•several tumblers and glasses
•a file
•a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink
•a Carbonundum grindstone with handle
•concrete and a ping-pong ball.

ANSWER: Items recovered from people’s rectums.

The list comes (via Jenny) from the work of our very own Chuck Shepherd, specifically News of the Weird (1988) and The Concrete Enema and Other News of the Weird Classics (1996).

"Medical researchers, tabulating cases in which items were recovered from the rectums of patients, reported 700 items from 200 patients…" In the case of the 72 jewelers’ saws, these were all from one patient, 29 at one time. In the case of the frozen pig’s tail, it got stuck when it thawed.

Update: Chuck would like to note that, subsequent to writing News of the Weird in 1988 with two other guys, he's realized that the gerbil story is apocryphal.
Posted By: Alex | Date: Mon Nov 10, 2008 | Permalink | Number of Comments: 32
Category: Name That List

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post a comment!


Mar 31 @ 10:18PM  
Gee thanks cockfail..WOW !!!! 54 views in a couple of minutes
I bet you were the one most of these items were recovered from...

Apr 1 @ 6:55AM  
you really need to start hanging out with a differant class of medical patients,
and quit all that weird experimenting

Apr 1 @ 3:25PM  
Sunshine's list of a good time!

Apr 1 @ 6:06PM  
Hey!! Sunshine popped in!!!!!

That was one helluva list Rev!

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Name That List, #6