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The Nut Relocator

posted 3/30/2011 5:02:18 AM |
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  borty293

Now that Ms.Skwirl has released me from the closet for a whole week, I'm taking the opporunity to plant my Panty Bushes in the garden. I need to be careful not to disturb her nuts buried just beneath the surface. During the winter months I managed to invent a Nut Relocater that beeps ..Beware of Nuts ..three times. Unfortunately we haven't had very many vistors since using the Nut Relocator but the police and a very nice social worker have visited me in the garden. They told me to keep the volume down and went about their business with a rather odd look on their faces.

Many of you are also about to plant your Panty Bushes but don't feel the need to use a Nut Relocator. Some feel that they don't want Nuts in their Panty Bushes so I have decided to sell the Nut Relocator for the low low price of 9.99 plus a smal Panty Tax.

Feel free to email your order

Yours truly Professor Pan.T.Borty

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by borty293:
Cancer
Just Wondering
Christmas Balls
Stealing Panties
Nature and It's Consequences
The Nut Relocator
Bort's Birthday
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The Freedom To Let Go
Panty Bushes In From The Cold.


Comments:

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somnium

Mar 30 @ 9:50AM  
That's a brilliant idea there Borty!

I'm thinking the ladies could combine your Nut Relocator with their 'stud finders' to zero in on what they're looking for!

Good price too! Might I suggest that you try selling it in the states? In the states here, things sold on TV for instance, usually go for $19.95 plus S&H (which usually costs almost as much as the item for sale).

Just a thought!


borty293

Mar 30 @ 10:39AM  
But ...do they have a Panty Tax in the States?
somnium

Mar 30 @ 11:01AM  
But ...do they have a Panty Tax in the States?

Well... yes! I think the PRS (Panty Revenue Service) would probably want to collect two panties out of each ten Nut Relocators sold! But you have to think along the lines of volume of units sold- that's where you make out- plus S&H, don't forget that!


sugarnspice005

Mar 30 @ 2:29PM  
A whole week out of the closet? Wow....Ms. Skwirl must be happy with you. Hey, that Nut Relocator sounds like a good idea...not a bad price either. I'll order one! Don't say nuthin, but, I think Ms. Skwirl may have a relative out here in Michigan cause when I was out planting Panty Bushes...this skwirl was watching really intently from on top of the fence...and I remember it getting really noisy when I went to dig in this one spot. I mean, this skwirl got really ticked off..had it's tail twitching and was chattering...I was ready to run to the house for safety! After I moved away from that spot, that skwirl quieted down and left me alone.

theSkwirl

Mar 30 @ 4:31PM  
you were too close to his nuts!

The nut relocator doesn't always work out.. I tried to relocate someone's nuts with it and all they did was lie on the ground and moan. Am I using it wrong?
RevDocLove

Mar 30 @ 5:06PM  
My left one left for the nether regions of my body..
Will the Patented Nut Relocator find it again ??
RevDocLove

Mar 30 @ 5:20PM  
I just found Nature's relocator..

Nuts & Nature!

A father and son went hunting together for the first time.

The father said, "Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field."

A few minutes later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his son.

"What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet."

The son answered:

"Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet.
I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck.
I didn't move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder.
I closed my eyes and held my breath when the wasp stung me.
I didn't cough when I swallowed the gnat.
I didn't cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching.

But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said,
'Should we eat them here, or take them with us?'
Well, I just panicked!"

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The Nut Relocator