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Idiots, Idioms and Idiosyncrasies.

posted 3/29/2011 2:33:04 PM |
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Pondering life and the pursuit of happiness. That's what I've been doing for the last few months. Contemplating the things I've done, said, witnessed and trying to make some sense out of who I am now, as compared to who I was then.

I come from a long line of jokesters. The first one I know of is my deaf Great-Aunt Emma. She would put butter on your nose to say, "Happy Birthday". So, from then on, it wasn't your birthday til someone buttered your nose.

Somehow, I cannot imagine my children carrying on that traditional idiosyncrasy. That's kind of sad, to me. It's something other families don't do. It's something special to our family. It's just not your birthday til there's butter on your nose! If that nose ain't greased, it's just another day.

We were hell on gag gifts in my family. I remember several and have one in my kitchen.. a jar of pork and beans. It's got a soft sculptured Pig's head on top of a mason jar of pinto beans. There were others, the 'gas powered razor' for my uncle being one of my favorites. (that's a cheap disposable razor with a hunk of tubing and a douche nozzle attached.) Come on.. that's frigging funny, right there!

Mom made loads of 'long handles' too. looked like long undies but were made out of pairs of socks. Very cute.

My Cousin, Dwayne and I passed a can of beets back and forth for many years. Same can. He hates beets.. I love them.. I used to put them on his plate at Gramma's during Sunday lunches. You gotta eat whatever is on your plate up there! Finally, when he started sitting on the opposite side of the table from me, so that I didn't do that anymore, I started the tradition of giving him the can of beets for Xmas. He'd give it back to me the next year.

My Mom and her Brother have kind of the same thing with a bottle of Geritol.

It's the idiosyncrasies that make families interesting.

My Pop, rest his soul, got the brunt of our outlandish behavior. One morning he woke up to find that the Tooth Fairy had visited his denture cup in the middle of the night. Where his 'teefs' should have been was a pile of coins. At first, he didn't see the funny. But he got there.

I'm not gonna list all the little things that my family does, that others may or may not do.. just putting it out there that the things that might have embarrassed the heck out of you; when you were younger, are the things that makes your family uniquely your family.

Idioms like Bent-Props and Flat-Tires were often used as well. They eventually turned into more of nicknames than just idioms.

I remember when, "Pulling a Culliton" was a real dumb thing to do. "Up your mattress" was an insult. there are more... loads more.. my bunch know what it means to "Phil" your game controller. But for gawds sake, don't "Pass the Peaches".

And you people wonder why I'm "half a bubble off plumb."?

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Mar 29 @ 3:03PM  
Sounds like a fun family to me.

A couple of years ago for Christmas, I saw a key chain that said, "This bank is out of business" and got it for my Dad who always complains he's not a bank when someone asks him if they can borrow money. (and for the record, any time I've borrowed from my Dad, I've paid him back. )

And my youngest sister...gotta love her. That same Christmas, she got me a red t-shirt with a band aids on it with the saying, "It's only funny until SOMEONE gets HURT...then it's HILARIOUS!!!" I don't know why she would get me a shirt like that.........

Mar 29 @ 3:34PM  
Sounds wonderful to me. My family isn't fun at all.

I did however, get to be a part of a family via marriage that was a hoot. My kids and I have some silly things like that, and I hope that never goes away. I also hope that the joking that G and I do continues well into the future. If you can't laugh, life sure sucks!!

Love ya squirrely one. More than words can say. In fact, more than my luggage.

Mar 29 @ 3:45PM  
I love the joking and laughter your family shares... I think it's great!! My family isn't real funny, surprising though cause my brothers and I are actually rather funny... especially my younger bro Brian... he's a freaking nut!!

Can I come spend Sunday dinner with ya'll sometime?!?! lol

Cute blog skwirlie girl!

Mar 29 @ 5:52PM  
I don't care what your momma says about you Cher..
I still like you cause you're gooder'n taters 'n better'n snuff

Mar 29 @ 7:09PM  
My Pop, rest his soul, got the brunt of our outlandish behavior. One morning he woke up to find that the Tooth Fairy had visited his denture cup in the middle of the night. Where his 'teefs' should have been was a pile of coins.

That one was funny.

Mar 29 @ 8:26PM  
Loved this story my lil Skwirly Girly! Doncha just love families! I remember one Christmas my uncle wrapped up a dried horse turd and gave it to his best friend Morris "to Sweet Pea" from "Dumpling". It was in a really pretty wrapped box too! The next year, Morris dipped said dried horse turd in chocolate and gave it back "from Sweet Pea" to "Dumpling"! My ex husband's family would draw names each year and it was always gag gifts. The one that sticks out in my mind was a pair of Macho Man panty hose that Uncle Bud got one year. They had a small third "leg" with a bright red heart attached at the end. The card proclaimed they weren't "Official Macho Men hose if they didn't have a Heart On!"
My thing was more to hide the real gifts and wrap all different sizes of boxes with different things in them that would rattle or not, inside would be little poems with hints of where the real gift was hidden! I miss those days! Sadly I don't think it will be carried on with my kids either!

Mar 29 @ 10:36PM  
Funny story. Your family sounds like a lot of fun.

Mar 30 @ 3:56AM  
my momma used to come out with the dumbest warnings,like;
if you break your leg doing stupid things you know you shouldn't be doing,...don't come running to me about it ! ....

or my favourite; if you don't get in that bathroom and clean behind your ears I'm going to clean them myself with a scrubbing bush and a brick ! .....never did work out what the brick was in aid of.

Mar 30 @ 4:45PM  
Tassie, tassie tassie.. the brick is for softening up your head a bit so that she can really get in there with the scrub brush. Geeeeze, do I gotta splain everthin?

Mar 31 @ 11:08PM  
I can't think of any funny traditions right now Ms. Skwirl...but I did give my brother a mirror one time with a heart outline on it. I attached a note to the handle of the mirror that said something like this...

I know you love yourself...but some of us actually have to pee more than once or twice a day (we only had 1 bathroom)...and you're tying up the bathroom!

At that time...I'd never seen a guy spend so much time in the bathroom working on his damn hair! And yes...I'm quite sure he was during other things in there as well.

Kudos for making me smile Ms. Skwirl.

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Idiots, Idioms and Idiosyncrasies.