OH HAPPY DAY!!!
The Sun is shining brightly, the birds are singing loudly and there is a song in my heart! Nothing can dampen my spirits 2day! Not the haters, not the fifteen hundred cumfuckme emails in my wife's Inbox (seven hundred an twenty six of which are from other chicks...other chicks with big tits...other chicks who want 2 fuck dixxbitch almost as bad as I want 2, 4 Christ's sake), not even the viscious rumours being circulated by wtxman and his CULT of followers (wuzn't there another crazy fucker out there in the Texas wastelands not so long ago?). No...nothing is going 2 get me down 2day...becuz I just recieved something even better than a cumfuckme email! I recieved a cumMARRYme email!
That's right! Some Russian hottie just shot me the following email:
Hello !!!!
I to become interested in your profile on
and to decide to write to you. I live in
Russia. When I to make the structure that I may not specify that I
live in Russia. To me I was very a pity but to not know why so it has
turned out. To me of 28 years. I never was married. I the soft and
gentle girl, like when in the house warmly and cosy. I believe in the
God and in the soul. I love walks on nature, I adore fresh whiff of a
wind, tender beams of the gentle sun. I am looking for a serious
relationship leading to marriage and I am not interested just in a
internet chat or adventure. I am interested only in how the man
hisself is and not what he has. If you have become interested in me
please write on this e-mail: nadezhdnikitin@
If you to answer me on my e-mail i shall write in more detail about
myself and I shall send you the photo.
I very much to hope for your fast answer.
With hope Nadezhda.
Can U believe my luck 2 be singled out 4 such a fine honor as this? I'm thinking I better get my ass down 2 the liquor store ASAP 2 load up on Lotto tickets! Maybe I should stop by the Indian Casino 4 a hand of blackjack or two. No telling when luck like this is going 2 run out!
I know Ur all jealous, and Ur probably saying 2 Urself, "But DS...U already have a wife! What are U going 2 do with another one?" Well...I'm thinking I'm gonna keep them both! dixxbitch will be there 4 the normal, everyday marital duties, and then I can pull out this Russian bitch whenever I need 2 make potato soup or cuss someone out in a language they can't possibly understand! It's fucking perfect! Flawless, I tell U!
I can already hear the naysayers out there. "DS...how do U even know it's a real woman" and "DS...what if it's those pesky Nigerians again?" Do U really think I haven't thought of that already? The answer is right there in front of U, my friends! She signed her email "Nadezhda". How many Nigerian motherfuckers U know named Nadezhda? Yeah...that's what I thought, U fucking idiots!
So go on and hate if U have 2...I understand. While U hate on me I am going 2 be busy building my harem. If this works out with the Russian bitch, maybe I'll adopt a seventeen year-old who wuz displaced by Hurricane Katrina or that fucking tsunami they had not so long ago. Yeah...I'm thinking there must be hundreds of Sumatran bitches with nothing better 2 do than become my third wife. It's either this or sift through rubble. Which would U choose...
So, be happy 4 me in my time of celebration, as I most certainly would be 4 U!
PS Does anyone know how 2 say BLOWJOB in Russian?
Keeping U posted,
DS 
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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| I WONDER IF SHE'LL CALL ME DICK SLIPPONABITCH? |
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wtxman
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Jan 17 @ 7:25AM
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Ds they are only rumors if they are not true. Russian for blowjob:"otsos"
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tlc0766
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Jan 17 @ 10:48AM
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good luck DS you the man!!!
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PghShyBob
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Jan 17 @ 11:00AM
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ROFL! You go, DS!
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str8ngr84u2
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Jan 17 @ 11:31AM
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I say good luck to the three of you! HAHAHA Funny shit!! 
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FalconMan1
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Jan 17 @ 1:36PM
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..Ask her if she has a sister?? 
LMAO
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StraddleMyNose
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Jan 17 @ 2:18PM
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Hmmmm....I'm thinking she emailed me some time ago.
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jump9
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Jan 18 @ 8:28AM
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I got one of those too. Some mail odor bride called herself "Helga"....In her photo she appeared rather muscular and a stache out 2 her ears...said she liked doing shots of vodka and smok'in pot...ok fine...I got suspicious when I noticed she had "manhands" and a tat I could'nt decifer..some kind'a flag,or broke down nuclear reactor I think...aaaawell,maybe next time...10 toke's over the line..pass the vodka...
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Luvrgrl
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Jan 18 @ 8:31PM
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DS....
I was havin a pretty shitty day until I read this.....first I find out that you actually HAVE a wife and now you are wanted by some woman in Russia......FUCK!
Well.....wha'd ya think about 3 on 1?
Will ya send me a notice when you put this shit out???? 
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DickSlippery
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Jan 18 @ 8:52PM
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So...just where do I sign up 4 that three-on-one action? Oh...over there. That LONG fucking line...
DS
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