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Struggling with life

posted 1/17/2007 2:32:24 AM |
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Well, I've reached a point where if I'm contacted by someone I don't trust the contact message more than I might actually trust it.

I know online wise that's good common sense. But I can't help feeling like there's the serious chance of stopping someone from actually contacting me because I don't trust the email.

Case in point:

I received an email not too long ago that the actually message was worded in a broken manner. Not how you would normally write English. It struck me like someone wrote a response and ran it through a translator. The message also included a yahoo email account address.

A while back I narrowly missed being taken in by a Russian Wife scam. Luckily I found an online site that listed scammers in this line of theft. What they do is play the man along then ask him to either send money or pay a service to get the woman who loves you and wants to merry you to the US to marry you.

Problem is I did checking on my own. I wanted to pay the way myself. Not using any service. After talking with immigration and some other places I found out that there are quiet a few steps that have to be made before hand if the bride is to come to the US on a "bride visa" part of it is meeting in some third location. Say if you are a US citizen and she's Russian, you would arrange to meet someplace like Matzelahn in Mexico. While there you would get pictures with BOTH of you in the picture. Even then it could still be turned down for a couple of years before it's approved.

Long story short my Russian girl played me along till I asked about meeting and suddenly I shot shuffled off to some agency to arrange for her arrival. ALARM BELLS.

This happened back before 9/11. The really annoying thing is "she"contacted me after the event trying for more money with comments along the line of "Oh you poor dear, I hope you weren't hurt in that terrible attack. Thing is she new I was located in Washington state the far side of the country from there.

Since then I've lived a lonely life. Not trusting anyone online.

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Jan 17 @ 5:29AM  
This is all too common a problem and I would suggest that if the e-mail contains any sort of mention of an e-mail address that you treat it as a phony. It's not only Russian brides that do this but also a lot of Nigerians. I can vouch for a lot of people on here as they are who they say they are, you just need to persevere and not give up hope.

Jan 17 @ 11:15AM  
Online dating can be scary and frustrating, but at some point you have to place your trust in your own reasoning and heart and open up if you want something to happen. Good luck with it, you seem like a genuinely nice man!

Jan 17 @ 11:37AM  
I can understand what you're saying... haven't actually been where your were but, that scam seems to be prevalent because women from around the planet are looking for a ticket to get here- one way or another. So they sweet talk you and probably suggest a great sex life in the process sometime.

I also understand the distrust on meeting people online. I've already had two ladies (within a two week period) that I've emailed with several times- then: Poof!- gone. One canceled her subscription and the other is still subscribed. In neither case, was I let known why!

I've met one African American lady on another service that I'm IMing with and have been for weeks now. I doubt we'll ever get together but we enjoy each other just the same, chatting about anything you could imagine, including sex and the rift between blacks and whites- very interesting stuff!

The fact that this is basically a sex site, is the first warning despite the hype of how this and other sites, make it easy to meet the opposite sex with like mindsets- yeah... right!!

So, I'm letting my subscription expire and will join a "" where people have their expectations down to eye level. I've done this years ago and met a lady who was a psychologist (huge mistake- LOL) but we still had some good times and we bed each other down for a few months!

Seems once "new meat" arrives, there's a some interest going on, then- almost nothing... to nothing, if you're a male anyway!

Oh and BTW, this age thing being only a number? It's pure bullshit! Why else would people post age ranges then (18 to 30, 35 to 50 etc.) if age was only a number? I'm guilty of that myself!!

Distance is one excuse used as to why people can't get together at least on an occasional basis. More bullshit in my opinion!! The psychologist that I mentioned? She lives almost 500 miles or so from me, yet we both got together when we could! My dentist met, wrote back and forth and married a Korean lady who now lives here and helps him with his dentistry practice!!

So far, I've read about two maybe three people who have connected and may be a couple now, through this site- out of what, maybe 200 thou to 300 thou or so of people on this site? That's pretty dismal if you ask me! Somethings wrong here!

So good luck to you but I think I know where I belong!

Jan 17 @ 1:52PM  
You just got involved in the wrong manner at the wrong place. Thats your only fault. This scam has quite a few people robbed of their money. But not relying on anyone online - not fair to everyone genuine here. I am sure you will find someone online itself.

Jan 17 @ 3:11PM  
I watched a program about the russian mob in america. They deal in prostitution,drugs,extortion,murder,on and on. They are a scarey bunch. As far as internet personal information,google is the top dog gathering our information from our health,shoe size,mothers maiden name,ss#'s,credit card account,sexual preference,on and on and thats just google. There are many,many, more and they are doing the same thing. You're wise too keep as much info as possible of the internet. Any and everything we do on our computer is being watched and saved somewhere by somebody.....

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Struggling with life