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The Flower Garden Part Three

posted 3/7/2011 10:02:04 PM |
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Sorry folks I couldn't get all of the third part into one blog so it has become a little longer. I am posting it tonight also.

As I said earlier the Flower Garden was one of the places that the kids and I connected. They would come home from school and a lot of times find me in the Garden doing something. Weeding, watering, planting, working in more compost, adding new plants or just wandering. They would pitch in more often that not without being asked or just wander with me and we would talk. It was funny sometimes because doing that ~ weeding, watering, etc was punishment if they had to do it in the vegetable garden but more often than not I didn’t even have to ask or tell them to do it in the Flower Garden ~ they just did. We always had flowers in the house. If I didn’t pick a bouquet one of them would come in with one. We always had the scent of flowers in the house. And the Garden grew.

They talked about everything to me in that Garden as I’m sure they also did with JB. We talked about school, their dreams, their plans, their hopes and disappointments. I learned about young love blooming and broken hearts. We talked about sex and love and the difference in that Garden. We talked about drugs and cars and makeup and clothes and homework. We talked about money and jobs when they got a little older. They had to pay for their own insurance once they got drivers licenses and they had to buy their own cars. We talked about responsibility, growing up and owning up. We talked about the world and the way it was and the ways in which it was changing and what their place in it might be. We talked about everything under the sun. Sometimes it would be only one of them sometimes two or three or even all of them. It wasn’t only me that connected to the garden. They did also. They actually ended up taking more care of it than I did later on. Not because I asked them to but because they wanted to. I needed them to at that time and they knew it and would do it without me asking or telling them to on their own.

When the boys got a little older and started dating they would often ask me to help them pick a bouquet of flowers to take to their date. A lot of their friends ~ kids who had been to the house before ~ and we usually had a lot of them ~ would also stop by and ask for bouquets from time to time. I couldn’t tell you how many times they brought a date over to spend an hour or so wandering through the garden just the two of them and the girls always seemed to love it. They would sit and talk on the benches and I’m sure more than just talk LOL. We always had more boys than girls with us for some reason ~ I’m not sure why, I think they were actually the easiest to raise.

JB and I found out about his fibromyalgia in that Garden three years after we were married. We had known all along that he had something. We just didn’t know what. We got the phone call about it from the doctor while we sitting and talking at the table and chairs in the shade of the big Maple there at the edge of the Garden one summer afternoon. We talked about it and how to handle it and treatments for it and what it was doing to him a lot of times wandering through that Garden the first few years. Later on it got to be less and less. We added a pergola and lights to connect the Garden directly to the front porch so we could spend time out there in the evenings. We loved having cookouts out there. We ran water and electrical lines so I could add a small fountain I had made next to the Maple. We added the gravel paths and a gravel patio area just beside the Garden and connecting to the pergola.

Two years after JB was diagnosed he asked me to stop working and I did. He wanted me home more and to be honest I was relieved. The combination of 12 hour swing shifts, a two hour drive each day, caring for the kids, house, gardens and now him as well in a lot of ways was beginning to tell on me. He didn’t want to stop working but he wanted me home to care for him and help him more and I wanted to be there. The company we had both worked for when we first met had created a special job for him so he was no longer working swing shifts and was working straight 8 hour days. He had been working for them about 16 years at that point. It was a job he had gotten almost straight out of high school and they considered him a valuable employee. They couldn’t have been any better to us.

And the Garden grew more. It spread from just the front yard to the bank in front of the house, down the side yard, into the yard across the drive and the bank on the other side. The whole place was slowly becoming an extension of the Flower Garden bit by bit. People began stopping by the house and asking if they could walk through the Garden. The neighbors who had thought I was so crazy at first. Some people were total strangers. People who had been told about the garden. I would always let them and when they were done wandering I would send them off with an invitation to come back, a slip of something or several somethings for their own garden and a bouquet of flowers. Some of them became friends. I would be outside working or in the house or the workshop and hear the screech of brakes out front and I would know that someone had seen the garden for the first time.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by lilofval:
A little sense of wonder
The Best of March
Things that shouldn't be ...
Musings from the Back Yard
The Flower Garden Part Four
The Flower Garden Part Three
The Flower Garden Part Two
The Flower Garden Part One
Pink's Move
I'm Curious ....
Happy Birthday !!
Buying an Island
Are you ready ???
A Mixed Up Southern Fairy Tale


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Mar 7 @ 10:25PM  
I'll bet it is one pretty flower garden.

Mar 7 @ 10:29PM  
Folks I'm sorry it turned out longer than I planned and there ended up being a part four. I did post it already but I know you can only post at certain intervals so it should turn up out there sometime ~ just not sure when ~ and yes it does have a link to some of my photos of it.

Mar 7 @ 10:48PM  
I would love to play in your garden.

Mar 9 @ 9:43PM  
very nice lady boot. Its all about the love. kind of had me in suspence for a couple of days. glad you got the approval of the neighbors too. You totally got me on my Blog babe

Mar 9 @ 9:58PM  
Uh.........Voyuerman, I'd love to take credit, but I never take it unless I'm due the credit being given.........this was by lilofval. Sorry Lil! I think he was a little confused there!

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The Flower Garden Part Three