The single world is very much residing as an influential driver in a single baby boomer woman’s thought processes concerning potentially becoming a wife again. To be or not to be, that is the question.
I won’t belabor or travel down the beaten path of many a woman’s dreams of a golden (or even a silver) wedding anniversary fading into oblivion. Many have as many ex husbands as they do kids.
Often they have had to pursue a career, raise the kids, keep the house, and be everything to everyone. No need to preach to the choir. I mean, we are HERE aren’t we?
For many, there is a rebirth as life begins when the last of the offspring leave home. You only live twice and it is at this point that the reprise begins. While there may be an insecure adjustment for a while, the mind set changes from feeling alone, to feeling free.
A lady friend of mine put it very eloquently several years ago when she imparted to me, “Bruce, you will never know how much it means to a woman to come home and find the house exactly as she left it, and be able to put on some music that SHE wants to hear, draw a bubble bath, light some candles, pour a glass of wine, and slip into the tub to become immersed in a good book with the door open knowing that she will not hear those two words: “Mom!” - “Honey!”
It is said that a home is a man’s castle. I am not so certain about that, but can say unequivocally say that it is the castle of this woman. It is a monarchy where all decisions are unanimous with no need for compromise. Having had to clean up, referee, cook, chauffeur, cajole, and generally be there for everyone but herself, the living has become easy as her domain becomes blessed with peace and free time with much of the drama in her life comprising of watching Law & Order.
From her vantage point, there is a raised bar of what is needed to make the trade off to even be considered. The risk/reward benefit analysis would seem to point to an attitude of it works, don’t fix it when it comes to her bottom line, happiness.
My friend cited above, also believed that a woman likes a companion to do things with as well as to feel the way a woman likes to feel. Of this she said, “The ideal boyfriend is Tom Cruise and he lives next door.”
This fall I went to gathering of a social circle of mine going back three decades. Most of these people I see once or twice a year, and some I will encounter for the first time in a decade. At this affair I chatted with a woman that I had not seen in ions and barely even recognized. I asked her if she was still single and she said that she was, but had gotten married and divorced since the last time we had spoken. She went on to intimate that she had a friend with privileges and everything was working fine as the relationship rounded her life socially. “It took me a while, but I finally realized that you don’t have to own the pig to get some sausage.”
I do feel that deep down within many of us, there is the hope and dream that things can be taken a step further. Having been divorced for sixteen years, I am no hopeless romantic. Still, I do feel that it is possible through divine intervention to be a part of a couple that is able to scale that bar and fly without a crash and burn.
I certainly can’t say what is needed to accomplish this. But I can conclude with two strategies that will become elements if and when the opportunity for a connubial interest potentially becomes revealed. One, is that we will hire a housekeeper and the other is that I promise to sit down to tee tee if she will promise to check to see if the seat is down or up prior to utilizing the potty.
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