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ASSHOLE STREACHER

posted 2/20/2011 7:05:15 PM |
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  hog77297


A man was driving across the Golden Gate Bridge when he was pulled over by an officer. The office comes up to the man’s window and says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Obviously over 55.”

The officer was checking out the man and his car when he says, “What the hell is a bum looking guy like you doing driving a fancy, expensive car like this? What do you do for a living anyway?”

The man replies, “I am an asshole stretcher.”

The cop says, “An asshole stretcher?! What the hell is that?”

The man begins to explain. “Well people call me up wanting their assholes stretched so I go over to their house. First I have them lay on the floor and then I insert one finger into the asshole then another and another eventually I work my fist in and then the other fist until they are both in and I begin stretching until I get to about 6 feet.”

The officer then looking disgusted says, “What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?”

The man replies, “Give them a badge and let them write tickets on the bridge.”

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